AIBU husband is an arse

[chocolateanddietcoke]

DH and I have 2 year old and 3 month old boys. I'm EBF and up hourly at the moment with youngest feeding. DH gets up with toddler and takes to nursery etc before work.

DH has taken a couple of days off to do some decorating but also asked if he could watch the gladiator film in this time.

I've said of course that's fine, day 1 he's just done half a days painting and sat down in the other room to watch the first one which he said he had to rewatch before the other tonight. I started prepping our dinner in the slow cooker and couldn't find the paprika which I know he used earlier today.

Popped my head round the door and he barked at me "what!" And that he's only just sat down!!!!

I was furious and called him a choice few words. I don't even want to speak to him today.

I don't get to pick and choose hours off I've not slept longer than 2 hours at a time in 3 months and feel disrespected and unappreciated

Yes tbh YABU , but you're tired so it's understandable .
It's not a big deal although it feels like it at the moment .
But maybe you needed the rant on here , and now you've done it so hopefully you'll feel slightly better now ,
Sleep deprivation is the worst .
Maybe time to express milk & get husband to do some night feeds ?

I can't comprehend an adult asking my permission to watch a film, why did he do this?

I thought this too, but sounds like he thought he was gonna get an ear bashing so was simply doing so for a quiet life .

Your husband asks your permission? Is this kinky role play?

Well she's the employer so he has to ask permission to take a break...6 hours work to earn some time off and all that.

I don't understand what your DH has done wrong, nor why he has to ask your permission to take a break.

What names did you call him OP?

I know!

So DH is off work- you had agreed he could go to the cinema and watch the new gladiator film and he wants to watch the first one at home as well before he goes and sees the new one?

OP - you’re upset as you don’t get that down time?

I wonder if you ask him to take half a day of painting and go and sleep so you also have some time.

Your DH must need a break (as do you) so wants to relax and watch a film without feeling on edge. Just apologise for your language and say you also need time off and work out how to do this. Maybe each weekend you have half a day.

So you called him names and are giving him silent treatment? Yes, you're unreasonable.

@TheJones what? The man was watching a film in his house. You just made up a cinema trip and half a day.

I suspect he felt guilty for sitting down and was being defensive.
I think you’re tired and he’s grumpy.
Just chalk it up to two young dc and lack of sleep.

In future if he barks at you count to ten and then calmly say I merely came to ask a question. How would you like me to get your attention when I need it?

I'd just have said 'well if you put the paprika back in the right place then I wouldn't have to disturb you would I?'

Getting annoyed and snapping at another family member because they have interrupted you watching the gogglebox is not a nice trait to have.

When do you get your few hours off to go to the cinema or watch a film at home in peace OP? It gets to a stage where everything seems so relentless at the time.
I don’t see it as him asking permission as much as checking with you that you will continue to care for your children so he is able to do what he wants. I assume you would just get up and go out without checking with him.
If you haven’t slept properly for so long you are bound to be less tolerant and it’s easy to overreact. The name calling isn’t really on though, any more than him snapping at you is acceptable.
I think you are getting an unnecessarily hard time here and I hope things simmer down at home.

I think we may deduce that

Read the thread - he’s been decorating for HALF a day! YANBU OP.

Unfortunately if she's breast feeding her husband can't do that , not saying he can't help more but he can't do that !

@ATastingMenuButItsAllCrisps "I can't comprehend an adult asking my permission to watch a film, why did he do this?"

Neither can I. But I also can't imagine an adult shouting at me if I asked where they had put the paprika.