DH overwhelmed with puppy

[Usedphone]

We've had a new puppy for the past 3 months+ . He's a Labrador+springer mix and TBH he's WAY more chilled than I expected BUT he does love counter surfing, stealing food, etc .. I would say fairly normal puppy behaviour. He's also an early bird and by 530 he's wide awake (I'm normally awake too by then) and will only calm down with cuddles.

Now to me, this is all OK and even kind of cute, but my DH can't stand it. Our older doggie is super chilled although she was a bit like this when she was a puppy, and my DH did lose her cool with her, but promised to never do it again.

My DH is grumpy, tired all the time and has lost all sex drive. He had a full blood panel at the GP, but everything came back normal.

Any advice before rehoming one of them?

Sounds more like a torture chamber to me than a family home.

When sleep deprived, I'm miserable, unmotivated and very short tempered. I also find that interrupted sleep or having to wake from deep sleep early in the morning is worse than staying up late. It's an awful way to live, to the point where I'd dump partners, jobs, pets and children just to get away and get some sleep.

So I'd say on balance of things, your husband is coping very well (just like you think that the untrained puppy is not that bad). All fine then? Or is it?

Does your husband enjoy the pets? Does he like the co-sleeping arrangement?

What training both of you have provided for the dogs?

H

Ditch him for being bedridden? Or having a demanding job that requires lots of travel?
what do you guys think marriage is? A joke?
he’s my best friend, my rock, he’s the best husband and dad.

He wants a puppy and is complaining about it waking up. It’s normal puppy behaviour. Puppies need commitment until they stop doing these things. If he can’t handle it + you have a little one sleeping with you then having a puppy isn’t a good idea.

unlike other people who think you need to ditch your husband if he can’t take care of a dog I don’t think so. It might just not be working for your family atm and that’s okay.

Ffs

My DH never actually says what we would like. He realistically went to the doctor because he's always getting injured and he can't go and run like he'd like. The lack of energy and constantly complaining about random aches and lack of energy has been present for the past 6 years.

Before the baby was born and any fog arrived in our lives. His breaking point was the lack of sex drive which has always even sky high.

My DH never actually says what we would like

Have you asked him?

Apologies OP as I haven't RTFT. I am a dog walker, and have some formal training experience with IMDT.

As with kids everyone will have a different opinion WRT your puppy but any force free trainer / behaviouralist would say that 5.30 waking is pretty normal at your puppy's age and it's highly likely that she will sleep much later as she gets a little older.

Her breed mix is likely to take longer to mature than many other breeds, and until she's past puberty she's likely to be a ball of energetic enthusiasm much of the time even with good training.

Having said that, some training will make a big difference and it should be fairly simple to share behaviours like settling, not jumping up etc. using reward based, force free techniques.

The absolute best way to deal with counter surfing is not to leave anything within reach on the counter. That removes the temptation from her and she will soon stop bothering.

WRT your husband hitting your other dog- for me that would be a gigantic red flag. However, in fairness, there is still a proportion of people who believe that force, pain and fear are appropriate and effective training techniques. It's an outdated and brutal way to behave, plus research has shown it to be totally unnecessary. Sadly some people are entrenched in their position, and appear to think it is acceptable. Your husband did, or does fall into that category.

Apologies that should say "shape" not "share".

Millions of times! Even now he hasn't told me what he wants for Christmas.

Silly example a couple of weeks ago ... Would like to.go for a drink ? Answer - I don't mind / we could go (can't remember) . When asked for a yes/no answer it turns out he wanted to go.

It's extremely difficult to get definite answers from him