DH overwhelmed with puppy

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We've had a new puppy for the past 3 months+ . He's a Labrador+springer mix and TBH he's WAY more chilled than I expected BUT he does love counter surfing, stealing food, etc .. I would say fairly normal puppy behaviour. He's also an early bird and by 530 he's wide awake (I'm normally awake too by then) and will only calm down with cuddles.

Now to me, this is all OK and even kind of cute, but my DH can't stand it. Our older doggie is super chilled although she was a bit like this when she was a puppy, and my DH did lose her cool with her, but promised to never do it again.

My DH is grumpy, tired all the time and has lost all sex drive. He had a full blood panel at the GP, but everything came back normal.

Any advice before rehoming one of them?

She was way more difficult in many ways. House training took like 6 months, and recall like 18. I genuinely think he's been a breeze.

Our older dog is a total couch potato and has been for the past 4/5 years. I think it's the contrast between the two personalities that doesn't help

What a gorgeous little pup!

Sounds like pretty normal puppy behaviour. They don't arrive trained and knowing how to behave and of course it takes time. Labs are very food led too!

You obviously know this but seems like your DH is struggling with it. The puppy stage is tough (also very fun I think!) but doesn't last forever, it's really a short space of time in the overall time a dog is with your family, so it's just a case of consistency and sticking it out. It sounds like it's probably more the change to routine he's struggling with as the puppy behaviour doesn't sound particularly difficult or unusual. He seems to be getting weirdly triggered by it (and did previously by the sounds of how he treated your first dog) so I think it's more to do with him, maybe a feeling of lack of control or something.

I absolutely wouldn't rehome a lovely puppy over a grumbling middle-aged man. I'd just ignore him and crack on until it all clicks, as it did with dog 1.

That's exactly how I feel! I really think we've had it easy if anything!! It shall pass and then he'll be a super chilled dog (he's already shown signs of this).

What a gorgeous face! Both the dogs are lovely 😍

Your husband however does not sound lovely. How can you stay with a man who can hit an animal? 😕

Then get another bed.

Yes that's the medium term plan, get bigger beds both in our room and DS's

Get rid of the toddler bed. Get a proper bed and let your husband have a good night's sleep. His mood will improve.

We have a Labrador teenager who's allowed in early. But knows most of the time not to bounce on us because she gets pushed off and told NO!! very firmly.

Rehome your husband.

If he’s walking up that early when it’s winter and dark outside, I dread to think one time he will wake in the summer 😬
we’ve fostered a lot of pups and they are early risers naturally, but I used to pop them outside for a wee and then pop them straight back to bed without making a fuss of them until 6.30 (which is when I wake up anyway)
I also have co slept with my children and still have one that regularly comes into our bed in the middle of the night, however I’ve never had dogs on the bed and only one of ours sleep upstairs in one of our children’s rooms.
The counter surfing etc is really annoying and has to be corrected, you’ve got a pup who is going to be intelligent and busy because of his parents, so bad habits should be fairly easy to correct.
Be kind but firm, I recommend clicker training for busy brains. It’s important he’s not getting overtired, like toddlers, they can sometimes get over tired and then behaviour becomes worse.
Feeding him his meals in a puzzle ball or stuffed kong may help make him settle without cuddles all the time.
i love a dog cuddles however I am a strong believer that dogs should not be treated like people in furry suits and need structure etc to be happy and settled.

Is never a good time to be looking for a new home but I hope your DH finds somewhere soon 😅

If the full blood panel is clear, he's exhibiting signs of depression (your DH).

Talk to him directly: is it really circumstantial (the puppy chaos) or more than that?

It's possible you rehome and he doesn't change. You need to get to the root cause. Which might be the puppy - but might not.

You’ve taken on something very high energy and demanding. Good luck with that.

The training starts as of now. The behaviour you describe is unacceptable. You have to stop it as of now.

Sorry but why the hell didn't you prioritise this over getting a puppy, if it's causing your DH not to sleep properly?

Rehome your husband. Hitting a dog is unacceptable.

There’s so many aspects to this which are shocking.

Your husband hit your puppy? That’s disgusting. How can you trust him?

In your bed, you also share with the new puppy and your child? That’s crazy. The bed is too small for all those people/animals. I’m not surprised he’s having trouble sleeping.

The questions around intimacy are valid too.

If my DP hit any of our dogs, he'd be gone, there's no coming back from animal abuse.
God only knows why you've brought another puppy into a house with him.
Was it a one off or repeated hitting? I'm astounded at your stupidity.

Maybe it was a couple of times? But it was only when our first was very young and because he was following his colleague's advice.

He's a completely different man now, which is why I trust him

I hope your husband gets reported for his cruelty
absolutely bloody disgusting
you don’t sound too bright either
he’s a completely different man now and you trust him 🙄
grow up
your poor dogs 😢

He hit a very young puppy, multiple times? I can’t believe you’re so nonchalant about that. I wouldn’t have had a child with him, let alone another dog.

It’s so fucked up to hit a baby animal regardless of “colleague’s advice”. It can’t understand “discipline” if that is your justification, it just feels pain.

Op tjr bigger beds need to be a priority. ´
My son would come into our bed every night until he was ten (autism). We got a super king and he has a comfy single.

Sometimes we'd all stay together, other times one of us would go to his bed.

It saved our sanity. Sleep deprivation is real and horrendous and won't be helping your husband's patience.

As for hitting a dog, that is disgraceful. I hope you have made it clear that if he does that with this dog, your husband is getting rehomed.

Why did you get another dog with a man who finds them so difficult I wonder?

I’ve read a few of the comments and your replies and it sounds like you gave up on night training the puppy because DA couldn’t handle waking up at 3/4am to let it out. It’s part of training a puppy and since you already have a dog I am sure you know that. Going with the path of the least resistance doesn’t always mean it’s the best way to go or the way that will lead to a happier result.
also since it’s his puppy he needs to pull his weight or unfortunately the puppy has to go. it isn’t fair for you to take the blame and responsibility on top of everything else.

we had a dog for 2 years and my husband did fuck all with her. He walked her maybe a total of 15 times, rarely fed her, never trained her and was only ever interested in cuddling her and kept saying “got her to enjoy her” yes sure but you don’t get enjoy them if you don’t train them well. We had my son and I suddenly was looking after her, the house, my husband and my baby with no family support as our families live far. My husband travels a lot, he then had a back problem and was bedridden for months and I went back to work. Unfortunately since all the responsibility was on me I couldn’t handle it anymore and we rehomed her with a lovely lady. Broke my heart, still does but it wasn’t fair to her or me.

Not sure why you didn't ditch the hubby here tbh

If you tossed a small child a dog and a puppy in with me every night to wreck my sleep. Expect a meltdown.

No, that's inaccurate. The puppy didn't wake up to go potty, he just wanted company/cuddles.

Rewarding the puppy with cuddles every time it wakes you up or tries to wake you up with whining is just reinforcing the behaviour. Are you and DH doing anything about the counter jumping and the food stealing?

My DH is grumpy, tired all the time and has lost all sex drive.

It's not surprising though is it if you've got a puppy that wakes you up because it wants company, and you're also co-sleeping with your DS. I'd be grumpy, tired and without a sex drive too. Sleep deprivation is awful and can lead to all kinds of health issues.

Our DS also sleeps with us, so to my DH he just doesn't sleep properly at all, but he's a natural deflector and complainer and doesn't take things in his own hands.

It sounds like you're quite dismissive of him. Your posts mention what you want and what you like but I can't see any mention of what your DH would like. You say you find it cute when the puppy wakes you up but he can't stand it, then you jump to rehoming one of them (assume you mean puppy or husband?). It's all rather my way or the highway, can you not find a middle ground? To be honest I'd be furious if this was my partner's attitude if I was quite clearly suffering because of it, to the point I had to see a GP.