Prudish or cringe?

[whattododoido]

I’ve had 5 dates with guy, he’s 51. The dates have been one a week, and not much communication inbetween. As in no phone calls, texts are a bit dry. I feel it’s me asking the questions etc. he has older children and other commitments so it’s hard to make time to see each other. But I feel he’s happy with once a week anyway.
our date this week, he cooked dinner at his house. We had a little kiss, nothing more. The next night he told me he fell asleep easily and he had a little help in doing so. He mentioned he pleasured himself because of our kiss. He’s always seemed a real gentleman and it took me by surprise.
how would you feel if this was said to you? I’m not a prude but I’m new to the dating game,
I don’t want flings I’m looking for a real connection.

If you're not talking or messaging between dates - is there real connection, or desire for one? If I was serious about building a relationship, I'd want more.
And then the message - really, isn't this just the typed equivalent of sending an unsolicited DP?
He's either uninterested in a real relationship, or too emotionally immature to have one.
Or both.

Op from the information available I think that its time to move on and ditch this character.

Good luck

I expect this is his idea of trying to move the "relationship" on to sex

When questioned he called it flirting which it obviously isn't 🙄

I dont think you're compatible as a couple because you don't want sex, yet, and he does

Also your communication needs are at odds

Cringe.

Suddenly going from ‘dry’ texts to sexual content, isn’’flirting’.

Sounds like it wasn’t feeling great for you anyway, would move on.

Sorry but I agree with this.
Five dates in and he cooks you a meal?
Obviously wanted more than a kiss and it was just a crass way of letting you know.

@Justleaveitblankthen after not much effort he wasn’t going to get more than a kiss. How do I know he’s not dating others, he’s still on dating sites. He said getting to no someone stage isn’t exclusive. Why would I have sex with him then, when he could be doing the same with others. No thanks, I want a genuine connection with a one woman man. And I need to be sure of that before I give more than a kiss.

🤢🤮
Listen to your gut OP, its not wrong.
Icky. Dump.

Oh no. I had a guy like this. He was so childish. Nothing had happened between us either but he would send messages with tongue hanging out emojis, lips and once told me to give my pussy some attention. It was like talking to a randy teenage boy and I quickly stopped.

Cringe, and also disrespectful. Bin this one and count yourself lucky that he showed his very ungentlemanly true colours so soon.

🤮

Weirdo!! What a creep.

Also if a man is into you, you won't be waiting for a reply re texts. Don't ever settle op.

Can I just say words like ‘prudish’ are used by men to put women down - definitely not something a woman should say about herself or another woman.

Also as an older woman myself. I’ve found a lot of men my age are just really useless at flirting and lack sort of subtlety - they just go straight in like horny teenagers and it is really off putting and cringey.

I agree with you, OP

But I wonder if you made this clear to WM (wanker man)?

If you did, his masturbation revelation is even more yuk

If you didn't, well.....maybe you could with the next guy?

Hmm l think he's not for you.

Sounds as if he doesn't understand how to flirt. A lot of British blokes don't, to the point where it's become a cliche. French and Italians seem to have it in their DNA.

Off topic (sorry) but a serious question: is it so abnormal to be cooking for someone after just a few dates? I’ve done this recently (maybe felt different to OP as we’d been talking or messaging every day for a month).

He sounds like a plonker tbh.
Who says that.

I think he wants you as a side chick kept separate from his main life.

'women so easily get labelled for giving it away easy. A lot of the men I know think that way'

I'm sorry you know such dickheads.

@Calmhappyandhealthy I absolutely made it clear. He knew what I wanted and was about.

Hes really not a nice man, is he?

Well done for sussing him out and keeping your dignity. There will be a lot of women that don’t unfortunately.

Upwards and onwards with your head held high.

The little communication in between would have put me right off....despite the little golden nuggets he shared.

I agree. If someone can’t make the effort to communicate then they’re in the bin. The over sharing of his wrist action would have been the nail in the coffin