DD told me is controlling and manipulative

[Treesfallingallaround]

It’s over isn’t it?

short story; DD (15) just heard an exchange between me and DP (not her dad) and the second he left the car she said ‘mum, he is so controlling and manipulative’ and went on to give me many examples she has seen and heard of this and how much she dislikes DP because of the way he treats me.

like I say, it’s over isn’t it??!

*sorry for the typo in the title

woah! I definitely am doing something about this! I need to get a plan together.

Me neither and I agree totally, but there's bound to be plenty of people along to do a spot of victim-blaming and give the OP a kicking while she's down.

I'm no expert on tenancy laws, but check your own specific circumstances with a solicitor. Have you got a copy of the agreement handy? Was it properly drawn up, witnessed etc.. Or check Shelter's website/helpline. they give advice to people about their tenancies. Or ask Women's Aid for information on your best options.

how long were u with him before he moved in with you and dd?

No they don’t.
Your daughter hates him.
She won’t be the only one.

@Treesfallingallaround

I agree with @DuckbilledSplatterPuff , do your research and contact the experts before you take any action.

What I've outlined is sort of a 'worst case scenario' but hopefully good research and good legal advice can help you circumvent that.

Until you get that done, keep quiet, go 'stealth' as far as your behaviour towards him goes. What and how much you tell your DD about any plans is up to you. But you should say nothing until you have a clear path and firm plans.

In my case I was good friends with my landlord, he evicted both of us and then immediately started a new contract for me in my name only meaning I could stay in my house but it was still 10 weeks of hell living together until they moved out.

How well do you get on with your landlord? If he doesn't move out would you be able to do something like this?

I called women’s aid today (after a long wait) Iv decided to apply for an occupation order to have to ensure he leaves. And a non molestation order.

I have also been made aware that I’m being exposed to financial abuse.

I am worried that I am not be able to afford all the legal fees, but woman’s aid said that if I can get evidence I may be able to apply for legal aid.

My question is, would it be unreasonable to ask DD to keep a record of what she see’s and hears? I don’t want to put on her but I want the evidence. I havnt told her any of this yet, yesterday I just listened to her and thanked her for telling me

The thread has moved on a bit but Shelter says that while you can't terminate a fixed term contract and escape liability you can terminate a rolling or periodic tenancy without the permission of the other tenant. If your landlord would agree to grant you a sole tenancy in place of the joint tenancy your problem would be solved. Joint tenancies: How to end a joint tenancy - Shelter England

You don't need to use a Solicitor to apply for an occupation order although you will the court fee to pay.

Rights of women can help you fill it in id you call them.

I think it might be better to keep records yourself. I remember the police asked to speak to my teen dd and she found it very difficult.
You might already have messages or emails that are helpful, or the fact you're in contact with women's aid is good - that's what I used as evidence.

@Treesfallingallaround

My question is, would it be unreasonable to ask DD to keep a record of what she see’s and hears?

I don't think this is wise. Children (even teens) need to be kept out of 'adult problems' as much as possible. Besides, your DD keeping a record would have no more 'weight' than your own written recollections. In fact, it's recommended that YOU keep a written record of dates, times, events surrounding the 'incidences', and the resulting actions and words. You can also jot down "DD came to me and said....." for future reference. These things can be useful to the authorities and also to you, to remind you of why you're getting out. Keep it in a locked document on your laptop or phone or if written on paper, keep it hidden securely.