So i have a "friend" for which one way or another we can't seem to get our timing right. Sparks but no flame
We were friends for years until our respective relationships blew up and we dated briefly. As enjoyable as it was it really wasn't the right timing (the world shut down!) and if I'm brutally honest im not quite sure how into I him actually was although he seemed very keen, very persistent and very sweet. It was fun. Vaguely talked about a casual situationship on occasion, but neither of us seem to be particularly bothered to make it happen.
My life got somewhat more complicated due to family, (which he was a sweetheart through and on the end of a text message when i needed him). Were at the same club so saw each other regularly without putting in any effort. Vaguely looked like we might try going on a couple of dates as he really had been a rock but the timing was off for him so nothing happened. Tbh was probably a blessed relief as my life got really complicated.
We talk every now and then, both migrated to different aspects of the hobby. We do get on well and flirt but it doesn't mean anything.
Most recently we were meeting up a bit more over our shared hobby, and he tried kissing me. I was thinking about maybe giving it a go. Made it clear (especially given previous conversations) I wasn't into anything casual, i really dont need the hassle of a relationship if its not something worthwhile, he indicated that worked with where he was now.... so I waited to see what his next step was.
He then put in about as much effort as a hook up so i very quickly shut the whole thing down in no uncertain terms. We last met on good terms, no hard feelings on my part or on his seemingly (i assume/d he feels similarly ambivalent). We nattered quite happily for a couple of hours at the time but genuinely didn't expect to hear from him again (beyond running into him hobby but weve naturally grown into different clubs) and really didn't/don't have any plans to contact him.
I don't have any relationship plans generally and am perfectly happy single.
A few months have past and i get a "Hey how you doing got some time for [shared Hobby] over Christmas" message.
I'm like WTF! I have to laugh, I'd assume he's after a Christmas hook up but I made it very clear last time I'm not interested in anything that is just a hook up and barely sure i even want a relationship
I do enjoy time spent with him as a friend and we laugh loads doing our hobby together. So I have a draft message written, yes it would be fun to meet up at some point,
but i haven't sent it,, I'm really not sure I can be bothered.
and when I say i can't be bothered with hassle, I REALLY can't be bothered. The back and forth is just annoying now.
But my biggest question is WHY? Why bother making one-on-one contact at all? Really we tied it up neatly last time and both moved on. I just don't understand.