Moving into a refuge

[Refuge98]

Has anyone had any previous experiences, what to expect, how long they were there for etc.

So my boyfriend is due off bail in less than a couple weeks and a DV support worker has offered me place in a refuge. I wasn't expecting this at all and had never considered it. But both the DV team and the police are advising I go and can move me in this week..
Is it common to be offered a place just like that? I feel like I am minimising my experiences a bit and don't even feel like a "worthy cause". I even said to the support worker how I don't want to take someone else's place who really needs it.. but perhaps I'm in a bit of a false sense of security at he moment knowing he's not allowed at my house for now.

Some insight ahead would be good, how I can prepare. I will then be looking at moving to somewhere else and applying for housing, but in the same area because of my child's school.

Obviously it's different in each area due to demand but was hoping it would be a brief stay before moving on. Not sure how easily accessible, what the process is like in doing this? I've always privately rented, but heard bidding on homes can take years. I would think you would be more of a priority being in a refuge? So unsure and uncertain with the future at the moment.

Any advice and info will be great to help clear how hazy everything is looking right now.

First I want to encourage you to listen to what the experts are telling you. Refuge space is hard to come by and if both the police and a domestic abuse professional are advising you to go, then please don't hesitate.

Here's some information on going to a refuge, details will depend on where you're placed and your circumstances. Your DV worker is best placed to advise.

I've read this through, very helpful. Thank you

Glad to help.

This was quite a reassuring little thread, OP:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4468277-moving-to-a-refuge

It is a big step to be moving to a refuge. I think you need to prioritise yourself and do what is necessary to keep yourself safe.

Refuge can be a lonely place, there are lots of vulnerable women there, some of whom may struggle with addictions and other trauma. That can be unsettling. It can be hard. Having said that it is safe place. You would have a key worker that would work with you and help you bidding for housing (yes you would be priority- it does not mean that it would be easy though).

It is good you have realistic expectations.
Hope it helps. Fingers crossed for you.

I was in a refuge for about 6 weeks. I then had an occupation order so was able to move back to my own house.

It was ok. I was there with my children who were both pre school at the time. They were entitled to one hour of supervision with a play worker each day (which wasn't quite long enough for me to walk to a solicitor's appointment!)

It was warm and clean but not very exciting. We went for a lot of walks.

There was no one there with an addiction. They would arrive there but were driven somewhere else more specialised. (I don't know where).

People waiting for social housing had been there about 6 months.

The worst bit for me was that I was on a very low wage and still paying the mortgage and bills on my house but the refuge also charged me rent as I had a job!

I would also say (I know this sounds awful) that the staff were lovely and caring but not very well trained. I was given some poor advice because I thought they would be experts in DV, law, divorce etc but really they only had time for dealing with emergencies. So always get the best advice from experts outside the refuge.

Side note...
If you use Royal Mail redirection it's free in dv cases(not £39.50!!!). And the confirmation letter most definitely doesn't have your new address on...