Found out OH on dating apps

[Blowingahoolly]

What’s a person to do?

Get rid

Run.

Make up a few new profiles, ask him out several times.

A) screenshot and show him or

B) stand him up

And leave him, of course.

Well you don't put up with it do you? You don't believe the lies he will tell you and you tell him to get out of your life.

Don’t do the pick me dance.

Do end the relationship in the belief that you deserve a mature, monogamous, honest man of integrity who adores and cherishes you.

Do you really need to ask?

What's a person to do?
What a strange way to ask!

Thank you, woken up this morning so down. Something that I never thought would happen 😔

But it has happened @Blowingahoolly

So you need to take control of your life, your life alone.

Sorry you are going through this. I'm just checking there isn't a chance this is an old account? I met someone through an online dating app and then thought I'd deleted my account but had just snoozed it or something... just checking you have full facts before it blows up?

What were you doing on dating apps? Maybe he is trying to catch you.

Depends how long you have been with him etc

I mean either way you need to get rid of

But if you live together / have children then it's a different action to if you have been dating for a few months

How are you doing, lovely?

Also this!

I had an old account that appeared active (dating site confirmed this can happen if you click on a notification email)

Well if it turnout to be him and active then you get rid of him obviously.

However, your first port of call is to find out whether it is actually him and not someone posing as him - that happens with people stealing SM photos. To make sure it's actually an active account and not just an old one.

I’m not on the app, found out another way

Good advice, thank you. I won’t confront till sure

When someone we love does the ultimate betrayal of course we want the hurt to just go away, and for a simple explanation to be given.
If he is a boyfriend of a few months, or couple of years, and if you do not live together, share finances or are tied down with children, then I would ditch.

No need to confront.

If you two are tied down financially, joint account or via property, it will make things trickier, but you can make a decision that suits you.

An apology from him will not change the disrespect. And I am sure you will be stonewalled, gaslit by him. Just dont fall for it. Know your worth and dont let OH erode that. If you are married, get your ducks in a row.

Thank you for asking I'm ok really, just surprised more than anything. Never really shown interest in the physical side of the relationship

Not sure if makes any difference but it’s my wife on the dating app

Get your own profile and reach out to her “surprise”.

Get an STI test and kick her out.

You've included literally zero context in your posts. What do you want from this thread?

Other people’s reaction, what would they do? How much context does it need

Context like, have you been together two months or ten years. Have you got children. How's the relationship otherwise. Has she been unfaithful before. Have you been. If you have, does she know. Does she beat you up when she gets angry.

That sort of thing.

Absent that context, if you're asking what should you do, my answer is: tell her you've seen her profile on an online dating app, and ask her if she can explain why it's there.