Member of Facebook dating group

[Headpillowcase]

My husband and I were at an event and I was posting photos on his Facebook (I’m not on Facebook). I noticed in his groups one was ‘Facebook dating’. As far as I could see he was a member and there were 90k+ members and 2 chats that were fully subscribed that he wasn’t part of. I asked him why he was part of a Facebook dating group and he said he has no idea. Swore on our sons life.

I have absolutely no idea how Facebook works (came off it 5 years ago) so I don’t know how these things work. Would he have had to request to join the group? Would he have had to set up a profile to join it? It said private group so I don’t even know

I'm on Facebook Dating... It's not a group but a separate section. I had to create a profile, add photos and text etc. Impossible to do by accident. I get to it on mobile by clicking in the menu bars top right, it comes up underneath the shortcuts. If he's joined, that will take you to his profile.

Having said that, there maybe Facebook groups called 'Facebook Dating ' for all I know.

Why is everyone laying into the OP?
She could legitimately have been posting photos for her husband.
But when she saw something saying "dating" she then obviously looked at it, as anyone would. That doesn't mean she was snooping through his phone.

She's presumably asking about it because she's an MN member & has read a million posts on here where a woman who previously had no suspicions whatsoever (and had no reason to have them!) found something like this and all hell was let loose.

Give her a break!

Hopefully someone who is more Facebook-savvy can answer your question, OP

You could join the group to snoop a bit - I.e if there is joining questions to get into group unlikely it was accidental join but again that could have been feature added in at any point as well as group name change if it’s a spammy thing… “competition” pages in the past often change names etc (all spam basically) - would be somehere in notifications when he joined …. Also deleted chat if any messages but I guess his reaction would be most telling?

So I am assuming he handed you his phone at this event, said take a picture and upload to his FB - ok, I can see that isn’t unusual.

Whilst doing that you saw a pop up or post in the feed from/about Facebook Dating.

I get FB Dating posts in my feed sometimes. It’s an ad. Not a well targeted one, as I’ve been with DH for over 30 years.

So, are you sure it was a group? Might not have been.

If you went snooping into his groups and saw he was definitely a member, then only you can decide if you believe him when he says he isn’t, or it’s an old one that he isn’t active in it any more, and whether he has other behaviours that make you suspect he’s cheating.

How long have you been married?

Could it be something he was
part of years ago & has just forgotten about & never left?

He would have to ask to join a group. His feed might give indications of groups to join and may include posts from groups he’s not in.

Yes you have to sign up.
Have a full profile and answer some questions.. then the admin have to approve you.

You've slipped up here OP.
You shouldn't have mentioned it to him.

And then joined the group yourself. Once in the group, you'd be able to search his name in it, to see if he'd posted anything.

You can be added to group chats as I have unfriended people for adding me in this manner without asking me first.

One was for a Football team and I can't stand football!

But the actual Facebook group he would have had to accept if he was sent an invite or he would have asked to join.

It is possible that the original name of the group has been changed.

To answer a few questions. I’m not on Facebook. It’s not an old Facebook he set up a new one when we got together and @IncredibleDicking please read my posts to answer your questions

Yeah it’s definitely a private group

I just looked in my main "memories" section there is also an icon that says Dating and I've never used it so unsure what it does!

Is it a group though?

Hi op- if the group was at the bottom of the fb page next to the shortcuts then he has joined it, to do that you need to make a profile. If it was an actual group then he may have joined ages ago- but the fact it’s showing up as one of the first things his algorithms suggest it’s regularly used. Hope this answers your question x

I have read all the posts on the threads and it wasn’t clear to me, but you carry on being stroppy at people trying to help; it’s going well for you so far 🙄

It's not a new service, it's been around a few years. I joined it about 3 years ago (quickly left because it's a pit of hell!!)

You have to physically click on it, add photos, write a bio and agree to Ts&Cs (like many Facebook groups).

So assuming the OPs husband was/is a member, then he's also done all of that. No amount of 'honestly I swear I've no idea' will cut it 🤷‍♀️ Although of course, like 99.9% of these caught out men do, he'll continue to deny it, and the wife will eventually be so worn down by the lies, she'll 'believe' them (until the next time 🤷‍♀️)

OP...save yourself years of being lied to. He signed up for Facebook Dating. I bet if you look, there'll be hidden folders hiding his Tinder and Hinge apps too!

First time here?

Ok, the actually really good thing about mn is the posters can quite often spot things you won't be posting about directly, but are a big part of the issue.

Would he have had to set up a profile to join
He has a profile, you were posting on it.

As previous posters have said, Facebook Dating is a part of Facebook that's an online dating app like tinder. You create a profile, which is different to your Facebook profile, it's a dating profile. It's been around a while, I met DH on there.

You need to check whether he has a profile on the dating bit of Facebook, or whether he's in a group called Facebook Dating, and see what happens in the group. Having just looked on Facebook, there are a couple of groups called that, both exclusively to help members find love. You don't join one of those groups , especially as they're private, by accident .....

To be in a private FB group dating or otherwise you either need to be invited (which usually expires after 28 days if you don’t accept) or you have to join yourself and be accepted. Most dating groups you have to answer a few questions first before being accepted.

You don’t join by accident

FB dating is different to a group. It’s a separate section of FB.

Did u have a quick look at his facebook messages? I feel that if he had something to hide he wouldn't have left you unsupervised with full access to his phone.

I have a Facebook which I use sparingly and only for looking at local community groups etc. so I really am not sure regards other posters mentions of separate dating profile etc. But I went on my Facebook one day recently and in my notifications I had all these notifications from a group called 'Scotland Dating' or something along those lines - I looked and I was a member of the group?! I definitely had not joined on purpose and swiftly left, but can only assume I was maybe served it as a suggested group because I'm a member of other Scotland groups and whilst scrolling I accidentally clicked join? I would have been mortified if my partner had seen that and thought it was on purpose!

Not always.

If it's a group set up by someone on facebook, you may be able to be added by someone else, may not have to answer any questions, etc

I don't know anything about "Facebook dating " as a thing though, so it depends on what type of thing he's in

Yes you do have to sing up for it

I had the same with my ex husband who I have not long split up with after 30 years marriage

sorted! So remember I said I left the group? He showed me it automatically added him and left a few times to show me how it kept adding him until he blocked it. Same happened with a few other groups I think one was a radical Islam group and can’t remember the other one but that’s a relief as if it hadve been what I thought it would’ve been exceptionally out of character for him!