Aibu- boyfriend annoyed I won’t see him day after norovirus

[Toblerone4]

My boyfriend spent all day yesterday with v&d. he said it’s the sickest he has ever felt in his life. I seen him yesterday morning and then he left for work and started feeling sick around 11am. Chances are I maybe already have it but so far I feel ok. I’m recovering from a minor gynae procedure and am off work this week and next. I’m really crampy and sore and the last thing I want to do is catch this stomach bug.
my boyfriend was to come and spend the weekend with me from today and I said best to leave it for today at least. He said it’s likely I have it as we kissed yesterday morning and I’m being unreasonable not allowing him up, that this was our plans for the weekend. He was still being sick at 10pm last night.
aibu? The last thing I need is a stomach bug and retching etc with how I’m already feeling. He’s so annoyed and I think he’s out of order

we have a concert tonight so he’s pissed off about that. I wasn’t definitely got going with how I am feeling anyway but am surprised he still is (there’s a group of us, not just me and him) he says I should definitely go to the concert even if I don’t see him the rest of the day

He sounds like an absolute arse.
I can remember someone having really bad flu once and saying - well of course I want to see you, I’m not going to give you it on purpose.
Will he stay and look after you if you become more ill or go to the concert? No prizes for guessing.
I am afraid this would be a red flag for me.
He is badgering you and clearly has no idea what being a parent means.

You can decide to not see him for any reason at any time and he should respect that. Don’t get sucked into debates about how contagious he may or may not be, or whether it’s 24hrs, 48hrs or a week- if you don’t want to spend time with him, that’s all there is to it.

there is nothing more to this than me just not wanting to get sick. I do like spending time with him and was looking forward to the weekend together

Yes, I get that, but he’s not recognising that you don’t need to bargain with him if you don’t want to see him for whatever reason.

True.

i said to him I’m surprised that i even have to justify this today

Yanbu. And yes, he might have given it to you already but if he hasn’t, why double down on the risk?!

Is he hoping you’ll nurse him during the weekend by any chance?

Much nicer to be at someone else house being brought drinks and looked after than being at home on your own….
So basically he is wanting the wife experience when you’re not living together iyswim

Oh, sorry.
Too distracted 🙄

It still sheds in poo for up to 2 weeks, so if someone isn't properly washing their hands it can spread well after the 48 hours.

48 hours after is just when it's most contagious (and also it's not realistic for people to stay off school/work for days and days after feeling better so 48 hours is a reasonably cut off).

Yuck! I’d be going nowhere near him for at least a week! You are post op too? What a selfish bloke.

I think you know he is being unreasonable. Did you really need to spend effort writing this all out.

Hold on - still distracted!
I realised it was you, in my comment!
😁
This stuff is horrible.

Did you really need to spend effort typing a snide remark, rather than just moving on to another thread?

You would only be hypocritical if your son had been at home and you had demanded your partner visit the house with your son there. He's behaving like a toddler. What a moron. Also, surely you're contagious until 48 hours after the last bout of sickness/diarrhoea? So if he was throwing up last night then he would most definitely still be contagious. I wouldn't risk it- no one in their right mind wants a stomach, especially after surgery.

*stomach bug

Is he the type to show up on your doorstep anyway and expect you to allow his puking self in as it would be unkind to turn him away? He doesn't seem very considerate of you OP, or the fact you are already signed off work due to health reasons.

@Toblerone4 there are so many red flags here. Is he usually like this?

"Yeah he’s now sending me websites which say 24 hours post last v&d is fine."
I'll see his quack websites and raise him the NHS guidelines- which are a pragmatic bare minimum of 48h- and the Mayo Clinic.

"He says he's not contagious". Is he the All Seeing Eye or has he got an electron microscope up his arse or what? Not wanting to be contagious does not equal not being contagious. That sort of magical thinking is really common and really stupid, and driven by selfishness.

Thank you

Yes possibly

NHS guidelines are isolate for At least 48 hours after symptoms end....he is an uncaring Twat never going to put anyone first.

Remember this when you contemplate getting any deeper involved with him. He's not a keeper.

48 hours minimum. And since you are recovering and have a little one, I'd add a bit more on. Plus an extra week or two on account of his being a total coercive arse.
Might as well round it up to a month.
Did I mention he's a coercive arse?

Not a chance I would see someone who likely would be touching me so soon after a stomach bug. I wouldn't be seeing him all weekend tbh.