Husband upset over being out a little longer while getting groceries.

[Mommabear12660]

Hey ladies!
I need some advice. The past two evening I have been out for a couple hours (one for a ladies group, other for groceries). My husband just got a new job, but up until then I’ve been basically single parenting. Him not getting home until 7pm. Now he gets home at 5 PTL! After the ladies group I got home at 9pm. He wasn’t upset. The next evening I was suppose to get groceries during the day but got too exhausted (I’m a SAHM and homeschool.) I had made sourdough, done chores around the house and homeschooled our son. So I told him I needed to go when he gets home. Makes it easier since I won’t have the kids. He was upset about it and told me I shouldn’t have got it done while he was at work. But I had to go so I said I’ll try to be quick. Fast forward I decided to go to two extra stores and was enjoying being alone. I got home by 9pm. He was extremely upset and showed it. So far to bring up the fact I’m on antidepressants and shouldn’t be because postpartum shouldn’t last this long (random, I know). He brings that up ever so often idk why, the medication has helped me function. Anyways we haven’t been able to resolve the conflict. I told him I feel like he’s trying to parent me and that we are adults. Going to two extra stores shouldn’t cause all of this..

But she said he was fine for the girls night. DH and I have both been the at home parent and if I walked in from work to him leaving to do the food shop and not turning up back till 9 I'd be fuming

@mathanxiety no, thank you for understanding. Some things in our marriage have definitely contributed to the depression. It’s a struggle. I don’t blame him though. So many things contribute.

Sounds like he was punishing you and sulking, and showing you that his paid work is more important to him than the 24/7 unpaid duty he expects you to do.

Parenting in the home is definitely not his comfort zone, probably because he has never had to knuckle down and do it.

He's happier on his computer, doing work that will earn him kudos outside the home. He has stopped trying to impress you and earn your admiration.

You are being taken for granted here and your needs are being overlooked.

Manage expectations. You said a quick shop. Then went out for three hours.

@m00rfarm for sure. I own up to that. I just got a little too excited to be out alone and free for a moment. Lol

Honestly, get the groceries delivered! It's so much easier and you can do your shopping from the sofa.

The problem here I think was expectation and lack of communication rather than you actually going out. There's nothing wrong with you going out, I think you should do it more, but do something for YOU, not just the groceries (unless that's what you really really like doing!)