Sister in law just said she has ordered our niece something for her birthday, from her, her husband, me and my fiance??

[dublinderby34]

I mean, i don't know if to be grateful or feel a bit uneasy. She is fairly controlling over my fiance as it is, now she is ordering birthday presents for our nephew and asking for half the money from my fiance and saying its from us? It takes the fun out of us looking/going shopping together for our nephew.

should i reply and say ok thanks but we have something in mind for christmas? what the hell do i even reply to this??

Has your SIL traditionally had to cover for your fiance being a bit shit on things like this? And so now she still thinks she has to handle it, but has swapped over to making it your problem? Because this would annoy me on a whole lot of levels, but mostly that she's involving me in the first place and my top tip to you now, before eyou get married, is nip this in the bud now, while you still can.

So.... does your DH want to go into this shared gift? is he happy with the shared gift and is there any chance he would actually have put any effort into buying a gift for his niece without his sister stepping in? I'd tell her that she should discuss it with fiance and leave it at that.

I'm STILL trying to get DH's family to understand that I'm not the person they should be bringing this shit to. SIL had a complete meltdown over MIL's 80th birthday gift and it was me she kept sending questions and ideas to. I still hav eabsolutely no idea why. not least becuase when I DO make suggestions, they get shot down!

How much money are we talking here? Is it far more than you would normally spend or be able to afford?

What does your fiancee say about it?

Depending on how strongly you feel about it and if he supports you this may be one of the ways you start to push back and set boundaries ahead of your marriage. If he doesn't support you then you either be ready for WW3 or go with it to maintain the peace.

Your fiancé needs to sort this out, not you @dublinderby34.

Such a shame u didn’t ask us as we have already purchased our gifts and don’t have any spare money.

Why does it keep changing niece / nephew ? 🤔