Should I make up with her?

[xTiffanyx]

Hi, I was just wondering whether I could get some advice please.

long story short. A couple of years back I fell out with a former friend of about 10 years. Partly her fault, partly my husbands fault. My husband fancied ( the pants off ) her, and she would use that to her advantage. Over the top flirting on nights out, trying to twist his words and make out he was coming on to her, when he wasn’t. He didn’t help himself though by following her around like a lost puppy, buying her drinks etc while ignoring me most of the night. Anyway, after 1 night out I had enough so I called her out. We stopped talking and just carried on with our life’s.

I’ve recently found out that her and her boyfriend are moving near us. We both have dogs so are bound to see each other out quite a lot. My question is, should I make up with her, to make it less awkward when we do see each other? Or Atleast be on talking terms.

I’ve seen her boyfriend a few times since, and he always gives me evils, and comes across as quite intimidating. Even though I feel I did nothing wrong, other than call out his girlfriend’s behavior.

My husband has wanted me to make up with her the whole time. Quite obvious why though.

Why are you just accepting your husband's crush like this??

No, I don’t see why you would make it up with her?? Your husband‘s behaviour was awful!

I don't understand why your relationship with this woman is the main issue for you.
Your DH was the one making sure you knew he was lusting after another woman. Why aren't you concentrating on your relationship with him? Or do you just accept his wandering eye?

She sounds like an arsehole, don’t bother

We nearly broke up over it. I think the realization of losing me and the kids over a stupid crush made him snap out of it. He’s been absolutely fine since we all stopped hanging out. He did say he’d never act that way again if I made up with her, and realizes he was in the wrong.

Fuck that

The few times I’ve bumped into her, she’s just put her head down and walked by. Apparently she is always asking about me, how I am etc to people I know, which I find so bizarre. She slags my husband off to anyone that will listen, as if she’s blaming him for our friendship braking up.

I wouldn't make up with her. She sounds horrible. But I also feel like your husband is a feckless arse who I'd be inclined to get rid of as well.

Nah, I wouldn't put up with that. Proper mates don't flirt with their mates partners. Sounds like she had a bf at the time too, so she's not going to change her behaviour!

If I was her, I wouldn’t want to bother with you either.

Your DH had a crush on her to the point that he made it very obvious to her (how was she aware otherwise). That crush and his behaviour has meant the end of your friendship with someone.

Your DH got away with that behaviour, but you are happy to blame the friend. I would walk past you and ignore you too.

It may have been obvious, men are hardly subtle when they fancy someone. But on the other hand she would try to wind me up, get us to argue. Telling me my husband said she looked really nice, loved her outfit, her hair, anything he could basically comment on. Each time though there were other people there and they said she was exaggerating loads, and that she was basically stirring the whole conversation to make him look bad.

1. I have no idea why you would want to bring this drama back.

1. You have the pinkish shade of rose tinted glasses on over your husband

Your last update still
continues to blame the friend and not your sleazy husband.
I'd not want to be near you or him if I was her.

I wouldn’t start up drinking with them again and hanging out. It would literally just be on talking terms to make it less awkward when bumping into each other.

I told him buying another girl drinks is flirting, especially 1 that he fancies. He didn’t think it was, but said he wouldn’t do it again. He didn’t act this way before and hasn’t since. Hoping he’s grown up now.

Fuck her off and fuck the husband off.

Neither have any respect for you. The way you just accept that he had a crush and followed her around - wow!

Hmm I'm not so sure it will go how you plan.

Remember different people perceive situations different and if her boyfriend is giving looks to be point you are intimidated I doubt comfortable and civilised is going to be achievable. Personally I'd probably just leave it and act as strangers when passing. If on the other hand you want your freind back it is a very different dynamic.

Do you want to?

It’s more the fact that we live near open fields, so the dogs are going to be running around off lead playing with each other, and it’s going to be awkward coming over to try and get her back. If it was just passing each other like you say then it wouldn’t really be as much of an issue.

Yeah right

You say she twisted his actions or words to make it look like he was coming on to her? Maybe he was. And she was trying to warn you. I'd say it's him that's in the wrong, not her.
If you do make up, and I don't see why you shouldn't, then don't tell your husband.

OP, no. Come on. You can bump into her and do the faux ' oh hi how are you' and run. You can brave that out but keep her out of your life!

Your husband sounds horrendous. Of course people may appreciate another person is attractive but this is another level.

You seem like you struggle with boundaries and knowing what the right thing to do for yourself is. Your husband wants you to befriend her again even though he knows how uncomfortable this has all made you? That in itself is wrong, so wrong.

She apparently has a history of doing the exact same thing with multiple couples. She falls out with people all the time. I can see why now if she acts like this to her friends husbands. If we do ever make up ( talking terms ), no, I won’t be telling my husband. And he certainly won’t be involved if I meet her socially again.

If he's been fine without her in your life, don't invite her back into it. Imagine the stress and worry you'll be putting back into your head. Don't bother. Just smoke politely when you see them. X

@xTiffanyx well, in that case you're making her sound like a bit of a wrong 'un. Maybe just stick to a polite hello if you do bump into eachother. It could be more trouble than it's worth to be friends again.