Could you forgive a friend who ghosted you?

[Combover41]

My best friend of many years did not speak to me for 2 months, prior to this we spoke daily, multiple times a day. The reason she did not speak to me was because I cancelled a trip to visit her because my young son was sick (v&d, I’m a single mum, didn’t want older grandparents looking after him when sick). After I cancelled trip I just never heard from her again. I rang, text, reached our multiple times asking if we could sort this out, apologised for cancelling (I was also annoyed to miss the trip), I’ve never cancelled before.

i reached out again last week and finally heard back from her. The gist of the message from her was that she could never forget what I done and that I triggered her into having an awful time (she’s pregnant) and she will always remember how I treated her when pregnant. She then just went straight into updating me on her life and asking me how I’ve been.

i am finding it hard to launch straight back into a normal friendship especially when she clearly feels like she did nothing wrong but has now decided to ‘forgive’ me. I feel like if I say any of this to her she will stop talking to me again but I also don’t feel like I can just chat as normal.

wwyd?

All right, all right.... I'd also take into consideration the fact that OP's friend is pregnant = hormonal. Probably very hormonal if gets so upset over something OP does not have much control over.

If this happened first time .... I'd not bend backward to please this particular friend however I'd meet up & try gently explain how the situation looks from my side... even better.... wait until the baby is here ( until then I'd keep
in touch but keep my distance if you know what I mean) ... wait few months so your friend start to understand what having a child involves... she might then be in better position to actually understand...

From my experience they will do it again
Keep that in mind

I wasn’t asking forgiveness. I apologised for upsetting her and asked if we could sort this out. I can appreciate she was upset I cancelled, I was too, I had been looking forward to it.
i was surprised by her response and probably expected a bit more understanding or at least an apology for her radio silence

Are you alright??

I’m genuinely upset by something here.
take a look at yourself

I wouldn't persist with her, why were you asking her to forgive you? You had no choice but to cancel and had apologised already I assume. What happens if you have to cancel something again? It would put me off arranging things with her, so there would be no point being friends really.

I wasn’t asking for forgiveness. I asked could we sort it out. I already apologised for cancelling

How would she have enjoyed d&v whilst pregnant if you passed that on? If she's,said she will never forgive you I'd proceed with caution at best and be more guarded with her.

But that would be unlikely for me, too much drama. Your next misdemeanor and punishment is probably just around the corner unfortunately

It really isn’t that difficult to understand what OP already has explained.

Have you asked her what it is she thinks that you should have done instead?

Are you drunk?

I think I’d reduce contact further

Wow she must be an absolute nightmare! I would cool off on this friendship for sure. As a pp said wait until she has to deal with her dc being sick, she'll be forced to open her eyes and come out of her own little bubble.

Well, it’s hard to have a trusting friendship with someone who makes you feel like they might take terrible offence at any point isn’t it? Constant walking on eggshells. You could tell her this?

Op this is at least the 3rd time you've posted about this
Let it go
I would not be friends with her anymore

I’ve been on MN for years. Not that it is any of your business because it really doesn’t matter. Your replies to OP are not only rude, and if you actually tried to read her posts you might feel less confused.

honestly 🙄🙄🙄

I suspect we are not even in the same part of the world @Combover41 😂

I wouldn't bother to persue this friendship OP. The ghosting is super disrespectful and tbh you had done nothing wrong.

The same dynamic will no doubt replay in this friendship in the future.

Ghosting shows a lack of emotional maturity and disregard for the other persons feelings. I'd be willing to talk to a ghoster if that's what they wanted but continuing the friendship wouldn't be on the cards.