Am I a prude over his groping?

[Justpeachy88]

Does anyone else’s partners grope them in public? Ive just came back off holiday where I seemed to go away with a different version of my partner. From the moment we got there, he’s groping my bum constantly walking down the street, while the kids are there… we’re in the queue for the food in front of all the hotel guests he walks past and gives me a bum squeeze, I find it embarrassing…and squeezing my boobs while sat down next to each other, no care for who’s around!
Several times I’ve asked him to stop because I feel
like a piece of meat and he’s then turned frosty on me only for him to do it again a few hours later! I’m wondering if it’s me being uptight?

There’s a time and place for me and it’s not while eating dinner in front of people while his hand is riding up my thigh to my groin area! He doesn’t do this day to day so I’m definitely confused, it’s nice to be found attractive and I guess a night out would be maybe a different situation (even though that would still make me uncomfortable) but it was a family holiday. He’s not speaking to me now because he said I’ve been frosty and he’s sick of it.

Happy with a kiss here and there which there has been none by the way. I think holding hands is nice too. I’m back to the usual version now we’re home, I’m definitely confused.

I definitely wouldn't be comfortable with that. My ex husband would do that too, but no hug, no nice kiss, nothing remotely loving. I used to hate it and always batted him away for him to then go in a mood. Looking back I'm sure he just did it as an excuse to go in a mood. Surely if there's mutual respect you would listen to your partners feelings about it and stop. Just another way to ignore your boundaries IMO.

That is sexual assault @Justpeachy88 . It is totally unacceptable. You have expressed that you are not happy with it and he is still doing it.

He has no 'rights' to any part of your body. Crossing boundaries in appropriate settings is another level of sexaul assault too. What porn is he watching?

I honestly think you should leave him.

You’re not being unreasonable at all. It’s extremely disrespectful to be constantly groping you like that. He’s a sex pest who throws a tantrum if you assert boundaries with him.

Firstly it is sexual assault, you have told him not to do it and he continues. Do you think this is him metaphorically pissing on you to mark his territory so other men know you are unavailable? As he doesn't do this at home.

The fact that he is doing this in front of the children is disgusting.

No you’re not ‘uptight’ that’s a horrible word used by men to put women down for saying no. He doesn’t have ownership over your body and if you’ve told him no and he carries on then he’s sexually assaulting you.

Sex pest. Eww

Remind him it’s sexual assault OP. You’ve told him to stop and made your feelings plain and he still does it. He’s not entitled to grab bits of you whenever he feels like it and regardless of the embarrassment and irritation it causes you.

Now you’re home and things are ‘back to normal’ maybe ask him why he feels the need to do this specifically on holiday. Is it because he wants to show other men you’re ‘his’ ? Is he insecure ? Whatever the reason you need to make him understand that it’s disrespectful, you don’t like it, and it needs to stop. If it doesn’t l would be rethinking the relationship.

Not at all okay. He clearly thinks he can act differently when on holiday. He isn't respecting what you've told him and frankly it's just sexual, not loving. When he continues doing this after he's been told by his WIFE, I wouldn't be suprised if he steps over the line with other women.
My wife didn't like anything but holding hands in public, so that's what we did. I liked tickling her, but she told me she didn't like it in public, so guess what, I stopped the day she told me. Why would I do something to her that she didn't want or like. (Ultimately she told me she was always worried about flarting - Farting and laughing.... that made it tantalising, but still, I never did it) it wasn't a hard thing to stop doing something she didn't like happening to her.

Sounds like he is 'staking his claim' on you in front of others. Vile behaviour when you've already said no multiple times.

YANBU at all.

He was more relaxed on holiday and wanted more sex - not unusual.

He went about it in completely the wrong way, and didn’t stop/become appropriately affectionate when told - not acceptable.

How does initiation usually happen? If he’s always this ‘blunt’ and doesn’t understand his approach is actually turning you off, it sounds like a fundamental mismatch that will be hard to overcome without an honest discussion that doesn’t make him immediately defensive and calling you ‘frosty’.

Yuck, YANBU

Yes you’re absolutely correct he’s not respecting you personally and in particular in public-there is a time and a place he’s insecure about himself projecting a version of himself suggesting confidence-holding hands occasional arm around the shoulder not clinging onto you we all need space !

It's sexual assault. Also, if he's touching you sexually in front of your children then there's a case to be made that he's committing a crime against them also. There's a HUGE difference between a dad cheekily pinching mum's bum when the kids are about, and dad groping mum's breasts in front of them. As well as witnessing completely inappropriate sexual behaviour, they are also witnessing him violate your boundaries and your discomfort.

Not OK.

Touch between intimate sexual partners is fine, a hand on. Not a grope, and certainly not molestation of your breasts or genitals in public.

Eww. This would turn me off sex.

No you're not a prude. That sort of behaviour is unacceptable, end of.

Using App - This guy just not respecting you clearly insecure projecting confidence claiming you in public- reverse the role would be interesting but your too classy for that!

Some people do behave very differently on holiday. As if being abroad makes them invisible.

Very unwise as many countries are far more conservative than the UK and would consider this lewd behaviour landing them in hot water.

This is apart from it being disgusting behaviour towards anyone.

Bad enough when they do it in private!

If your not happy you need to say something asap.

I like it when my partner casually rests his hand on my bum, but he wouldn't make a big show of it and I honestly think of that as being affectionate rather than overly gropey. I wouldn't be at all happy with him squeezing my boobs in public. My abusive ex used to try and do that to me when he was drunk and it made me want to punch him, frankly. Really gross.

A sneaky touch under the table is fine for me if there's a generally sexy tone to the evening, but only if a) nobody can see and b) it's just me and him at the table. That can be quite sexy. But I'm really not into being openly groped for people to see. And if I had kids, absolutely not when they were around!

He's counting on you being socialised to not make a objection to his assault because you're in public. My ex would make a big thing of kissing me hello and good bye infront of other people as our marriage deteriorated, knowing he could do it because I wouldn't want the embarrassment of refusing infront of our friends . Absolutely fucking vile.

Did you even read the OP?

@Justpeachy88 its not about being a prude. That is YOUR body and you have told him no but he keeps doing it.

He is pushing your boundaries and sexualising you at inappropriate moments. This is all his wrong and not you.

To help him understand - you should cup and jiggle his man-boobs in public. He will get the idea fast. I'd even throw in "oh, what a lovely pair" while you are squeezing them in front of strangers, shop keepers or anyone in the street.

Its the exact same thing - an action that is inappropriate in the moment and that makes another uncomfortable.

Do it as often as you can so he gets the picture.

He's sexuality assaulting you. Doesn't accept your boundaries. He's not talking to you. Fucking cheek.

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