There is of course a load of backstory to this but I will try and keep it short.
In the summer, H left me with no warning. Since then, he seems to have had a personality transplant. Overnight, he went from being a man who wanted to spend as much time as he could with family to only seeing the DCS on Saturday mornings and one evening a week. He also introduced his new GF at the worst time and was surprised they didn't welcome her with open arms (but that story could be a whole other thread). He wants to give me anything I want money-wise but seems desperate for the divorce to go through and keeps offering more and more things to me but then gets annoyed that I want them in writing because he "just wants everything done".
Before we even had the DCS, we have always spent Xmas morning opening presents at home and then go to ILs for dinner with his family.
During half term, the DCs normally make their Christmas lists, and then we choose some things off the list for family and friends to buy, some things for me and H to buy, and some things from Santa. We have done this for the last 5 years when the eldest was old enough to understand Xmas.
So H messaged me at the beginning of half term saying that I should message him one thing the DCs want that he can buy, and then he will send me money for Santa presents. I agreed and then asked him what his plan was for Xmas. He didn't reply.
So the other day, I picked up the DCS from PILS (H is kind of living there), and he met me at the door, which was already suspicious cause normally he just lets the DCs out, and I don't see him.
He had me sit next to PILS, and he explained to us all that this Xmas, he would happily see the DCS during the day on Xmas Eve, but he would then be travelling to spend the rest of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at GF's parent's house. He won't be returning till late December.
I asked him what about our DCS and he said they'd be fine. He will take them on Christmas Eve for a few hours "extra" to let me get some things done. He then launched into an I shouldn't expect everything to be the same lecture.
I pointed out that I didn't expect it to be the same, but I was expecting him to see his DCS.
I assumed that I'd have them in the morning, and he would take them to PILs for dinner, and they'd come back when they were ready.
He then started to get arsey saying that any other parent would be thrilled to have all of Xmas, and I need to see that he has two families now and it would be unfair for him not to see GF and her DCS, and he has already promised them he will be there.
PILs then got upset, asking him why he was acting like his family didn't exist. He blamed their upset on me. I just said goodbye, got the DCs, and went home.
Since then, he has messaged me to say that this is the plan and he won't be changing it, so we all need to accept it and move on.
I am so annoyed at him; it's like he has become a completely different man in the last 4 months. How can he want to spend Christmas without his kids? Normally, he loves Xmas and watching the kids’ open presents, going to ILs for his mum's roast, and seeing his siblings and their families. I keep thinking how upset the DCs are going to be when they don't get to see him, and that's before they find out he is spending it with the GF family. I keep trying to think of ways I can get him to see them, but I doubt they will work because he has made up his mind, and these days, he doesn't seem to care what anyone else says. He's just convinced that everything he says/does is right.