Good morning - lying awake, ruminating, anxious and possibly overthinking, but would value opinions please...
There is a long backstory, but, essentially, I have been with my partner for nearly three years, although we do not live together, live 70 miles apart and I travel up every Friday, after work, to spend the weekend with her, leaving in the early hours of Monday morning and drive straight to my place of work.
From the start, I have seen some red flags fluttering in the breeze, but recently have become more aware of behaviours which might be described as 'dogwhistling', DARVO and 'triangulation'. She is loud, swears a good deal, prone to irritability and anger, is, by her own admission, bossy, has a relationship and attitude to alcohol which I am uneasy with (although I recognise that, as my mother was alcoholic, I am wary and cautious around it myself), poorly educated and, forgive me, lacking in intelligence and the ability to converse or write in an articulate and comprehensible manner. All the polar opposite to how I perceive myself.
Until now, I have not felt physically unsafe, but, on Saturday, something happened which has caused me to think that her behaviour is escalating in terms of risks to my physical, as well as mental wellbeing. We were at her mother's house, relaxing after having spent the afternoon helping her mum in her garden, had just eaten and were sitting on the sofa. She, and her mum were watching a 'cheesy' Christmas film (not my 'thing' and I had started dozing!). Suddenly she reached across to me, said "you will watch this film" and proceeded to squeeze the left side of my chest so hard that it hurt. I challenged her at the time and she did apologise and no more was said. However I did raise it again on Sunday and her response was that she hadn't done it - when I told her that she actually had, she then proceeded to tell me that she had forgotten, but, in any event, it was something she occasionally does to her adult son in 'fun' and that I was overreacting to 'playfulness'.
I am not so sure and see it as a ramping up of what I perceive to be abusive behaviours, but, and it is a big but, I am autistic and not always sure about the context and intent of other people's actions or words. I am also aware that I am very sensitive and have a tendency to take things to heart, can be very black and white about things, can be very 'proper' and am, apparently, "pompous, stuck up, a snob and have a stick up my arse"!
May I please have thoughts and opinions as to whether or not I am right to be concerned?
Sorry it is so long