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Original poster

Would it be wrong to just have a bit of fun with a bloke?

39 replies

youonlyliveonce99 · 27/10/2024 23:10

Soo what do people think about having drama free fun with the opposite sex?

I'm 33 have children and I'm a single mum. I've been speaking to a bloke on and off the last year and he said about having drama free fun and I keep debating whether to do this because I just think why not? We are both attracted to each other and he said see what happens, meet up, have a laugh and if the sexual part happens it happens. He's been completely honest with me too and with how things have been with my life the last few years I feel like it would be fun. Obviously it would not be round my children and it would be in my spare time that I do rarely get but would it be soo bad to have fun with a bloke? Anyone else done this? Thoughts on this and what outcomes come from this?

No nasty comments or digs please. Im just asking for genuine advice and opinions.

OP posts:
PlantDoctor · 27/10/2024 23:12

As long as you both know the score and you keep the kids out of it then why do you think it would be wrong? Sounds like two people having a laugh together?

GogAndMagog · 27/10/2024 23:12

Of course its not wrong, look after yourself etc but just because you are a mum doesn't mean you can't have fun. Actually, it's an imperative!!

Moveoverdarlin · 27/10/2024 23:13

Go for it.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 27/10/2024 23:14

I'd say no. Something like this would seriously mess with my head and emotions down the line.

crackofdoom · 27/10/2024 23:16

It's not bad at all!

(Although I wince at the use of the word "drama". )

Screamingabdabz · 27/10/2024 23:17

I think ultimately that’s what everyone wants isn’t it? I’ve been married 30 years and I still have the ‘no drama, some fun, some sex and a laugh’ as a mission statement! It’s sustaining it that’s the trick… good luck op.

WomenInConstruction · 27/10/2024 23:18

Morally I don't see the issue if both people are honest about what they are offering and the kids aren't affected in any way.

Personally I couldn't do it without getting emotionally involved, cos I can't fancy someone I don't admire and I can't have sex with someone I admire without becoming emotionally attached..

So if I did this, I think I'd end up feeling worse at some point once the fun ended.

But I know not everyone would be the same, or even that some people would think a bit of upset later was worth it for some fun now. So that's just a 'look before you jump' contribution as a reply to your op.

NPET · 27/10/2024 23:36

As a 20 year old who sometimes finds time for "bits of fun" with blokes, I say Go For It and enjoy yourself. I do.

BonnedPaster · 27/10/2024 23:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AutumnLeaves24 · 27/10/2024 23:43

Absolutely go for it, but only if you're able/willing to lose what you have with him now, as that's always a risk.

Opentooffers · 27/10/2024 23:48

It depends on you really. You know yourself if you are a person who's always felt attached after sex or can separate successfully the act from feelings.
If you think you can handle just fun, go ahead, however, that you need to ask on here if it's wrong or not, maybe shows that you could become unstuck with it.

viennawaitsforyouu · 27/10/2024 23:51

You have a need for intimacy as a human being, just make sure you use protection

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 27/10/2024 23:52

I've had a lot of no strings fun (I only wish I was young enough to have it now) but I would warn you against getting attached if your partner has no deeper feelings. If you're both happy about a purely sexual friendship then great - and I strongly recommend it. But a couple of times I've become romantic about a bloke who sees me as solely a FWB and it's really horrible.

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2024 23:53

I did this for about 6 years. FWB arrangement. Worked fine. I was in a similar situation to you. Go for it.

HeddaGarbled · 27/10/2024 23:53

he said see what happens, meet up, have a laugh and if the sexual part happens it happens

You know that’s bollocks, right?

Motherrr · 27/10/2024 23:58

As long as you can both stay emotionally detached why not enjoy a bit of friends with benefits ;)

suburberphobe · 28/10/2024 00:00

Make sure you use a condom!

STI's are on the up and 1 type is becoming resistant to antibiotics. Gonnorea I think.

Have a google.

Love yourself before another.

Original poster
youonlyliveonce99 · 28/10/2024 00:01

HeddaGarbled · 27/10/2024 23:53

he said see what happens, meet up, have a laugh and if the sexual part happens it happens

You know that’s bollocks, right?

What do you mean?

I know what he means by it to be fair.

OP posts:
yeaitsmeagain · 28/10/2024 00:14

Been there done that but at least one side always wants more so something to be cautious about.

BlastedPimples · 28/10/2024 00:19

By drama free fun, he is telling you to absolutely not get emotionally attached or involved.

Only you can know if you're capable of that.

If not, then there'll be drama. And he will simply walk away, knowing he told you the score from the beginning.

If you're cool with just sex then go for it.

Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2024 00:32

In my experience, 'drama free fun' rarely is drama free. Or, fun.

You have to vet them the same or even harder than a bf.

Often their ego is a huge problem. Eg: they can't handle it when you don't fall for them. They turn it into some weird power struggle.

Then you have the boundary pushers, the ones in relationships and lying about it and the ones that are shit in bed because it's only THEIR pleasure they care about.

I could absolutely do a fwb if I met a hot, considerate man who wanted mutual pleasure and treated me respectfully. But the truth is, most men looking for fwb aren't, and won't do or be those things.

I'd just go for one night stands personally, if I wanted fun. That has risks too of course. But less drama.

FinishTheBook · 28/10/2024 00:39

Strange. Why would it be wrong? You get to decide what you do as an adult, do you not know that?

BobbyBiscuits · 28/10/2024 00:41

If the guy actually phrased it as 'drama free fun' that would probably give me the ick somewhat. Like implying that an honest but tentative and respectful monogamous romantic relationship would automatically equal 'drama'.
If someone gets annoyed or feels hurt, which could happen anyway in any normal new situation, then it should be dealt with maturely, not labelled 'drama' and then dismissed.
Having casual recreational sex with someone without being their partner is totally fine of course. But things sometimes don't turn out the way you expect.

Original poster
youonlyliveonce99 · 28/10/2024 00:43

FinishTheBook · 28/10/2024 00:39

Strange. Why would it be wrong? You get to decide what you do as an adult, do you not know that?

Off course I know that but I know some people can be judgemental etc. I don't know.

OP posts:
MarkingBad · 28/10/2024 00:47

You say you are single but is he?