He’s a lovely guy but not the best looking

[Positivegirl]

I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months, he’s very kind, caring.

However there’s a couple of things he’s not the best looking. He’s also told me how people meaning friends, ex disrespect him as he is kind and he’s ok with this. My last concern is the dating turned in to a 10 year relationship already. We not going to new places and exploring life together at all. It’s mainly at his chilling.

He is consistent, safe and an overall good guy. But he’s not the guy you show off but ik he will treat me well. I don’t know what to do

Any advice?

oh Yh and he keeps saying your going to be my girlfriend soon if I keep playing my cards right

Yep. Two months in and you're expected to stay on his sofa, cuddling all the time?

Bleurgh.

It’s not about his looks, everything else about him is 🤮

He sounds like a walking red flag - needy, cheap, possessive, calling you by names you don't use. I'd get out now.

But then am I chucking a good thing away

Oh come on!

What's good? He's kind? And sweet?

Fuck me! Raise the bar , girl 🤣

Good lord, absolutely ick.
Walking unhinged twat.
Using a different name for you.
Bloody hell OP.

Look at your own boundaries.
They really are poor to be with someone like that.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Husband looks are the least of your problems.

This man has huge issues.
There's loads of red flags in front of your face.
Why are you ignoring them?

For example he’s taken time off work and he wants to spend it cuddling

Seriously WTAF??? I’m all for the odd duvet day but fuck wasting annual leave just to cuddle on sofa.

How old are you both OP? He sounds like he’s ready for a nursing home already.

Lucky you…keep playing those cards right girl ha ha!!
you sound bored…you don’t want a life of boredom!

Look at your own boundaries.
They really are poor to be with someone like that

Absolutely nailed it ^

He sounds extremely weird and has given me the ick just reading this!

He’s also told me how people meaning friends, ex disrespect him as he is kind and he’s ok with this.

What an unattractive victim mentality. That would give me the ick.

He’s also decided to use my middle name to his people then the name I use. He said it’s because then no one before can claim me and only he can

I'd struggle to get past this. It's disrespectful to you, denying you your past.

He is pushed about by his friends and family yet he's OK with that? That's awful on both parts.

This one's not a keeper, OP, and it's nothing to do with how he looks. I'd run now before he grants you the dubious honour of being his girlfriend.

I guess us being comfortable it’s turned in to a 10 year relationship already
what does this mean? i've dated for two months? I've lost the plot

I feel the ick by proxy on this one

She means they never go out and he behaves as though he's ten years into the relationship.

He’s also decided to use my middle name to his people then the name I use. He said it’s because then no one before can claim me and only he can.

What.
The Actual.
Fuck.

This man does not have a healthy attitude. I think it's bin time, frankly.

How do you FEEL about him? Do you miss him when you’re apart? Can’t keep your hands off him? Want a future with him?

Regarding the ‘always chilling at his’ part. If you want to do other things, suggest/ ask.

Also. People aren’t objects/ trophies to ‘show off’. It’s really about h what they add to your life, how you feel around them etc. If you want someone casual to be showing off to impress other people, great, it can last a while, but will that last 20-30 years together?

Sounds from his comments he wants something serious with you so if you aren’t into him/ feel much, it’s kinder to break up sooner rather than later.

I don't think you should be thinking about his looks. There are way more important things. Does he treat you well? Can he cook? Does he cook for you? Does he keep his place clean? Does he do nice things like bring you a cuppa in bed, run you a bath, pay his way etc? Basically, you want someone that's going to treat you well and also the treatment needs to last, not just a temporary thing while trying to hook you!

Also not sure what the make you my girlfriend soon things means. Maybe he's testing the water?

Right ok, read your other posts.

Yeah, no. You clearly aren’t happy and it’s not just about the looks. 2 months in you should be in heaven, ideally.

So reading your other thread you’re only 24 and he’s 9 years older.

At 33 he’s too old for you not just in age but in his attitude. Though tbh he sounds more like a pensioner the way you describe him.

Don't waste your 20’s on a man old before his time.

Does his child live with him?
If not, does he see the child frequently and pay maintenance to the mother?
Why did they split up?

Have you met his child? Has he met yours?

These things, and the strange things he's said to you, should help you to decide if this is a good relationship.

It doesn't matter what he looks like, does it. It's the way he behaves which is important.

He sounds a bit grim to me. Telling you you're going to be his girlfriend in the future is weird. And telling you he's going to call you by your middle name is even weirder.

He isn’t a keeper OP but equally, you sound very shallow and a bit big headed.

My partner of almost 3 years I guess doesn’t have model looks but to me, he is gorgeous and sexy and I can’t keep my hands off him.
we don’t live together as both have kids (he is a widower) but he always makes and effort and we try and go on one date a week, even if it’s just a quick coffee but it’s often dinner or a day out. Once a quarter we have a weekend away in a nice hotel or spa.
This week, I came off nights Friday morning and he knows I crave sugar after nights. He picked me from home after a nap and took me to the most spectacular dessert place I have ever seen, bought me an incredible chocolate fudge cake with Rocky road, honeycomb, ice cream, cream etc and told me how fabulous and proud of me I am. That is the kind of man you need OP, not a lazy, low energy, walking red flag you don’t even find attractive.

Raise your bar and move on.