Talk to me about dating apps ...♥️

[guildingthelily]

Hi there, I think I'm finally ready to start looking for love again. And would like your advice on which app might be best suited for me.

I'm separated, age 47, two kids of secondary school age, leftie, educated professional, well travelled. Average looking but apparently look younger than I am 🏋🏼‍♀️Looking for something serious with the right person. Or potentially just hot sex no strings attached 😂

Please give your recommendations oh wise mumsnetters 🫶🏼

None of them. Apps doesn't work for professional women past the age of 45.
Your best bet is try try meeting guys in real life. Or give up and focus on your friends, kids and other exciting things

Aaah, that was what I thought. But it's hard to meet men in real life so I'm looking to spread my net a bit wider which the internet is good for.

Take your pick, you won't find any problems finding NSA, that's all most the men want. Finding anyone relationship worthy will be difficult.

I’m 34 single 5 years I’ve used most of them on and off they’re all horrendous. I couldn’t in good faith recommend any but bumble is the least offensive imo.

Also recommend checking out the burned haystack dating method.

Its all much of a muchness. Same sausage on different apps. Tinder, Bumble etc. Just stick to the free ones and be selective. You're unlikely to find a decent life partner but you never know.

Meeting in real life is all but impossible so you do right to try the apps.

At 47 you’ll be bombarded by men in their late 50’s and 60’s convinced women 10/20 years their junior are desperate for them.

It’s pretty slim pickings out there but you could strike lucky. Maybe join the dating thread and get advice from other single ladies

Bumble is probably best one to start as it’s more female friendly than some of the others.

I’m 34 I regularly get these 🤣

I’m in my 50’s and I’ve had men aged 75-80 message me 🤢

One 70 something got very arsey with my ‘offensive age prejudice’ because I said no 🤣

I think certain apps do better in certain areas. So try them all and monitor which seems best for your age group in your area.

Do have a profile review done by someone. Don’t sound bitter. No revealing clothes (they will attract a certain type). If you’re on Bumble, you have to log in minimum every 23 hours or there’s no point. If you can’t do that, pause your profile. Stay on the app until you’ve met. Join the dating thread here.

It’s just grim isn’t it 🤮

I did very recently make a bumble account but I’m not expecting much 🤣

I’m SE and I’ve met some lovely people from Bumble and Hinge. Easy enough to weed
out the odd ones imo

Ooh thank you for sharing something positive. Xxx

I’ve been on Bumble a couple of months and not had a date yet.
Im shocked how incapable of any sort of decent communication so many older men are. Its painful

Thank you for this advice. I think sharing photos is something that has really put me off to be honest. I hardly have any at all of me alone and I'm not very photogenic. Much better in real life 😀

I met my husband on eharmony. I found the ones to pay for the best imo

I met my partner 12 years ago on Tinder at 43

@Autumnblackberries - couldn’t have said it better! Also to add - there are very few remotely attractive and fit men last age 40 so @guildingthelily it is only worth the time and effort if you are going for flings/casual sexual with men in their 20s/30s.

Tinder. Met my husband there I was 48 and he was 49. I'm a teacher and he is a professional - works in large plc. Could not be happier! Go for it and have fun!

Ooh another positive response! Thank you 😘

Good luck OP and keep dodging the older ones who think they're entitled to a younger woman 🤢 it speaks to their character.

Met my partner on Bumble in 2019. First and only date. Realise I got lucky. Now happily engaged and LAT.

I've met someone nice recently via Facebook dating. It tells you if you have friends in common so I was able to seek my friend's advice about him.

If you want hot sex, go on Tinder and look for men in their late 20s / early 30s. There are plentiful numbers of these who are happy to have sex with a woman in their 40s and they tend to be more polite and chatty than the men your own age who want casual. The younger men also are at peak performance sexually, and can still perform while wearing a condom, which is what you need for casual.

Do not expect a relationship and always meet them in public first, reject any who won't do this, don't want to wear a condom, or talk disrespectfully. Only do this if you're sure you won't fall in love, as they will have zero qualms about dropping you the minute an age appropriate woman appears in their life.

As for relationships - in my experience they don't happen on the apps for women over 45.

I'm sorry but this is just so negative, It's not the platform, it's the person. You can find a great person online- jus be super picky even if it means no date for six months after swiping everyday!

My friend met her partner when she was in her 50's. So it's actually really dismissive to say apps don't work for women in their mid 40's.

IME who is to say the man you bump into at a gig or pub isn't on an app? atleast you can vet to some degree before even leaving the house. Even your friends who know people who are single- those men may well be on there too!

So be picky. There is an illusion here- The fact that soooo many profiles pass through our fingers and we get little attention or good ones slip through makes you believe that there aren't enough. You only need one! Just keep at it.

@datcherygrateful - I think everyone is sharing their personal experience of OLD as a 40+ woman so I don’t think it is dismissive to share that OLD hasn’t worked for me and my 40s friends who are now all partnered (met partners IRL). If it has worked for one person it probably hasn’t worked for another ten since OLD makes money by keeping people single and on OLD.

Statistics might not be 100% accurate but they suggest a small % of adults over 30 meet on OLD- probably 10%. www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/