Anyone tips on how to deal with pass remarkable family member?

[Fammily45]

My DM and I are close and she helps me out a lot with childcare but my god is she pass remarkable. Comments on everyone and everything, not always critically but just annoyingly. For example today my son told her he was going to buy a new Xbox game with his birthday money as his birthday was yesterday, Dm comments to me “DS said that he’s buying another game, did he not get enough this week”…I don’t know why it fills me with rage inside because it’s his birthday money and he can buy another game if he wants? She came to see my other sons football match at the weekend and has commented to me and to my father about how all the other kids were wearing certain football boots and my son had different ones… I genuinely don’t know why she is so concerned about any of these things??
any advice would be great

I don’t have any advice but i have never heard of anyone being described as ‘pass remarkable’ 😂and I think it’s great. I’m going to use this.

Ha really? It’s a very common phrase here

Where are you from? Never heard the fabulous phrase 'pass remarkable', but sounds like she's just chewing the fat, or would like you to engage in a chinwag.

Is it Scottish? My mum used to say I was very pass remarkable when I was younger lol

Where's 'here'?

Never heard of it either

Do you ever say something? Pull her up on it?

Never heard of it either.

Is she concerned though, or just making conversation? Personally I would see it as mindless chatter for bonding purposes.

Can you explain what 'pass remarkable' means please?

It means excessively critical

As in passing remarks

The best thing is to just let her words hang in the air.
Don't JADE
Justify, argue, defence or explain
Come up with a few neutral phrases that don't agree nor disagree

Didn't he get enough blah blah??

" no idea" " marvellous" " interesting"
" gosh"

Then pop in a question
"Didn't he get enough"
" no idea"
Did you see that new show ?
" more tea"

Don't entertain her nonsense just move on

I've heard of it! Norn irn by way of Scotland now. My mum's like this - I pick my battles, if it's family chat and I care I pull her up on it but nonsense about the neighbours I let go 🤷🏻‍♀️

Eh?

I’m also NI and in Scotland now. I think it’s a NI phrase though although when I say it here people know what I mean!
Grey rock your DM ..it really is the only way with pass remarkable types.

Common phrase in Scotland!

Northern Irish here, now in England. Common phrase there but don’t think I’ve ever heard it this side of the Irish Sea.

But regardless, agree with the PP who said don’t JADE. Just let her get on with it. I can totally see why it would push your buttons though

I’m Scottish. I thought it was a common phrase lol apologies!

What a great phrase 🤣 my mum is this and I've never been able to describe it but this is it to a tee!!

No advice, sorry. I just ignore it but let the resentment build up then lose my shit at a tiny pass remark which then seems blown out of all proportion 🤷🏼‍♀️

Didn't realise it was Scottish/ Irish specific but yes my mum was very much pass remarkable. Had to comment on every single thing. I eventually put it down to her trying to make conversation because she was lonely and had to fill a silence when she was with someone. What she thought was starting a conversation or making an observation was actually a dig.
Neutral or upbeat responses to try and turn the conversation narrative. I know it's hard and can be exhausting 🙁

I've never heard of it but I think it's a great way to put it!
Your mum makes me think of how my mum used to say "It's rude to pass remarks". I think you should say that to your mum. Either thar, or "You know your own business? Well mind it"

No idea is a good response, it has the added bonus of being annoying to the person passing the remark, I find.
I know someone who has to make a comment on everything, she even made a comment about a banana I was eating, and I can tell she's trying to provoke a reaction. I just repeat "No idea" like a robot and she gets more and more annoyed.

No need to apologise, I love learning new things

Thanks for the explanation @BlackOrangeFrog

Lived in Scotland 30 years and never heard of pass remarkable.

My DM although doesn't comment on everything she constantly asks wierd detail about things that have no relevance. Example she will phone and ask casually 'what are the boys up to?' Me: 'in the park with their friends. Her: 'oh didn't they go yesterday?' Me: 'yes and they're there again today. Her: 'who are they with?' Me: 'Peter and Jack' her: 'who are Peter and Jack'. Me: 'you don't know them'. Her: 'what time are they home?' Me: (getting annoyed now) 'I don't know exactly. They'll call.' Her: 'that road where they walk to the park can be quite isolated. I hope they're ok walking back alone'.
Honestly, sometimes it's draining but she does great things for us too so I am quite tolerant of it. Have no advice but this behaviour has got worse over the years with age. Has yours always been like that?

I'm laughing here, OP, as I've never realised it's just a Scottish/ Irish phrase. My mammy used it a lot, 'Nice enough woman, but awfy pass remarkable' . To me it's a person who is a bit gossipy/ moany.

I'm Scottish; mam too but with Irish heritage.

What is pass remarkable