Has anyone else had to make peace with being long term single?

[MushroomOnPizza]

has anyone else had to accept they will be single for many years? how do you make peace with it? i’ve already been single for years but i find it’s getting harder as time goes on not easier. those of you that are long term single or having to accept you probably won’t have a relationship again for a long time how do you make peace with it? how do you stop feeling like you’re missing out or life is passing you by..

@MushroomOnPizza i have been single for 3 year's now. Some days its lonely but I have my peace of mind. No walking on eggshell in case I say the wrong thing and upset the other half. Peace is what I have x

It's very difficult and I'm sorry you're struggling. I've been single for a very long time and for a long while was very lonely and desperate for a relationship, so desperate in fact that I got involved with some inappropriate people.

I'm now ok with it and although I wouldn't rule out a relationship am fine being single. I've done a lot of solo travel and got used to doing things independently.

I agree with this. I have peace, and that’s all I want.

Happy to be single forever if necessary after years of shitty relationships.

@MushroomOnPizza exactly x take care of yourself x

Yes, 5 years down and accept I will be alone forever.

I get lonely but men made me miserable and I’m not willing to settle for that again.

I've been single for over 16 years. (Widowed in 2008 aged 48).
I am 64. Looks like I will be single for the rest of my life now.
I am totally at peace with that. I am not interested in looking for someone else. I was married twice and both just happened without my looking. If it happened again so be it. I wouldn't marry of live with anyone else again though.

I'm 56 next week and divorced for 4 years. I know I'll be alone now. It is quite lonely. Better than being in a terrible marriage but not the best. I've accepted it

I’m 44 now and haven’t had a relationship last longer than 6 months since I was 30…. So basically been single for 14 years 😳

This feels weird to say, (the joys of being anonymous I guess!) but I’m aware I’m attractive, intelligent, I’ve done a lot of work on myself - healed myself from PTSD, so I’m emotionally very switched on, I have a wide circle of friends, easy going etc, I’m healthy, lots of interests….. yet it’s just not happened!

I can’t seem to meet Mr Right, I do sometimes feel like life is passing me by, I always wanted more children as I had one when I was 23 who is now 21, but I feel like that’s now passed me by because I never met anyone.

Im not really sure what the answer is, but just wanted you to know you’re not alone.

A couple of years now but I actually want to be single. I spent 35 years in 2 long term (happy) relationships, and to be honest, I just love: having a nice cool bed to myself, no snoring, not having to discuss what to do that day or what to eat with anyone, I can lounge around in my pj's till 1pm on a weekend, no pressure to entertain, meet partners family/friends, go to functions, buy presents for people I barely know, plan my days around other peoples expectations, I can watch what film I like, listen to whatever music I like, go to bed and get up without any disturbance whatsoever, no waiting for the bathroom, no clearing up other peoples mess etc.
I just do what I like, when I like, how I like.

God. It's bliss.
Absolute bloody bliss.

Six years for me. Not even a kiss, even though I have the odd online date. I just can't flirt or show a romantic interest in anyone. I think I'm protecting myself from hurt.

I love my evenings on my own,I plan my TV,have friends over etc but things like holidays,bonfire night,Christmas, going to a Carol service with a partner is what I miss. Going to a village fete,playing scrabble.
I have a lot of single friends so that does help. But yes,part of me has found peace but some times it's hard.

5 years for me. I'm healthy, early 30s, attractive, good job, a nice person, but I have a child with SEN so nobody sticks around. I've given up.

You're not alone.
I'm 48 and there's nobody out there now for me since my divorce. I'm blessed to have my kids and friends but sometimes (a lot of the time) it makes me sad. I miss having someone.
I've reluctantly had to accept that's it for me now.

46 and been single most of my adult life. Started a few relationships, but those men just didn't live up to basic standards, and I would rather be single than settle for breadcrumbs.

I'm only sad because I met somebody who would have changed my mind this summer, but it would have been veeerry long distance, and I can't move away from elderly parents, and he's not looking to move away from his job. That disappointment that it would never work did sting.

I've been single for fives years and I'm not bothered. It's not that I've made peace with it. I didn't have to. It's just a fact of my life.

If I had found a suitable partner a couple of years ago I would not have been single for 5+ years.🤷‍♀️

But it sounds like you would rather not be single @MushroomOnPizza, so instead of making peace maybe it's time to change it.🫣

Fill your time with other things, hobbies, friends ect

I'm 32 and I've been single for 4 years now. Somtimes I like the thought of a relationship again, but then all negatives that could potentially come with a relationship just dont seem worth it

We do not need a partner to enjoy life, I have found it far more peaceful without a relationship and just having nice friends around me. The peace is so worth it. Although I am sad I won't be able to have another baby

I met my partner when I was 44, I had been single since the age of 23. We’ve been together for four years and if I can be completely honest my life was much simpler when I was single.

Coming up to 11 years single. Lone parent to an SN child who was only 2 when his "father" left. I had zero opportunity to meet somebody else and as time went on I had no desire to. I really dislike men. I had a FWB for around 6 years. That worked well. I don't want anybody around my kids. I'm perfectly happy being single and have accepted it. Not how I saw my life turning out and it was inflicted on me by two selfish cunts but actually, it's great not having to consider the constant demands of a selfish bloke 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't have to make peace with it. I've tried both and prefer being single. It's nicer. Well for me at least!

thanks all for the comments its nice to know i’m not alone if you’ve not had to make peace with it then i guess the thread doesn’t apply to you

Freedom, plus im the other part in an open relationship

I really love being single. Been over 10 years. In my 40s.

I don't see one relationship where I wish I had that As a woman, I see it is always imbalanced and men tend to do much better from it. So for them it's more beneficial and more of a struggle emotionally to be single as they get older.

.i wonder how much hormones play a part and whether once you go through menopause ( if not already there) that you feel less desire to be with someone?

I see it as an absolute blessing. I've never been in an abusive relationship either. I think it's because I've suffered terrible health problems and the relief in knowing I can just be sick and no pressure is huge.

I've been single since I divorced in my mid 30s, 30 years ago. Never thought it would be thus, but hey ho, unlikely to change now. I would say I've made my peace with it - I've certainly stopped looking, and will never marry/live with anyone again.

I'm fortunate in being financially comfortable. The single state is expensive - after your 25% council tax deduction you're on your own with all the bills - which may contribute to the yearning to share life, and costs, with a partner.

I've been single for 4 years after a terrible break up and I feel like you OP - the loneliness increases with time and I wonder why I can't make it work with someone.I do find it easier to keep busy and be very social, but it is hard. This being said, its a cliche, but you can meet someone when you least expect it. Friend is 43, was single for 10 years and recently met someone in a canoe club - they are off to Malaga next month! You never know whats around the corner.

Yep. Pushing 50 and have been single for the last ten years. Single parent to an almost 11 year old child with SEN. Have been in poor health the last couple of years, but no interest from men before that either. Thought DD’s father was the ‘one’ (long term relationship where it turned out he was unfaithful throughout, and he left when she was v young), and just don’t think I could put myself through that again. As it is, between work, health issues, and parenting, I have no time for hobbies, let alone dating. Have accepted that this is my life now. The verbal digs from ex when he picks up our daughter to take her for the night once a week, make it easier to bear. It reminds me how awful being in a bad relationship was. I know there are wonderful men out there, and joyous relationships, but they are not for me.