My MIL and I have a very surface level friendly relationship. Me and my partner have been together for six years, not married yet and no children. We bought our own home a few years ago and live about 20 miles from ILs.
My partner has two other siblings who are bad with money - a younger sister who in all fairness is still a student but has no idea about saving and has never done any work. My partner has an older brother who is regularly in money trouble and asks for handouts from family. My partner and I are very sensible with money, both work full time and save, don't go into debt etc.
My MIL is prone to making wild promises about money and never keeping them. She also owes my partner money which in my opinion is more outrageous. Examples:
- When my partner was still living at home, before we met (6+ years ago), he was working full time and saving to move out - she knew he had money and borrowed £5k from him for a holiday caravan. More fool him. She even asked my partner for money for ground rent when he was temporarily between jobs. She has since sold the caravan having realised how much the upkeep would be and my partner has never had the money back, despite promises!
- When we were moving, she promised to buy us new white goods. We saved for our deposit and asked nothing from our ILs but she insisted. Instead she offered a second hand washing machine from a friend that wouldn't even fit in the space.
- We have planned a three week trip abroad, and MIL has promised to give us £1000 as a present. We saved for the trip ourselves and expect nothing. But in MILs own words, my partner and I have always been responsible with money compared to her other two children and she'd like to do something nice for us. This trip is now a week away and nothing has materialised. The last thing she said was that she was waiting for a payout from her old job and it would be £500 that she would give to us. I don't think the money will come at all.
- Despite this she is quite nice and did send my partner £100 for his birthday and £100 to me, almost like she's trying to keep us sweet?
It makes no odds to us, we aren't waiting for the money (though the £5k really annoys me) as we're self reliant. My partner will never lend her money again. In fairness to my ILs, they don't have much money. But why make the outrageous promises knowing you can't keep them? Is it ego? Is it narcissism? Is it bad money management?