Dipping with female friend

[Lollyp2]

Is it okay for my DH to go for a swim with his guy friend girlfriend?

My DH and his friend have known each other for a while.His friend has a girlfriend of 2 years now who has also grown close with my now DH.

We even have a what's app group together but my DH prefers to text them out of the group.

Recently I saw messages between my DH and OW ( His friends' GF) asking each other whether they are free to go for brunch, a swim on different days.
On some days the OW said she couldn't as her BF had just arrived home.

What do I make of this?

Look for his swim trunks and towel? Signs of use?

I could be biased because of my own experience but… this doesn’t sound great. It’s the secrecy and I think we have gut feeling for a reason, if your stomach is in knots over this, I’d be inclined to think there is something untoward going on. My ex and I had close friends who were couples, on nights out it would sometimes end up my ex and friend sat together while me and friends husband would be having dance offs and generally mucking around on the dance floor as our other halves would prefer chatting. It was never disrespectful or hurtful, purely harmless fun, and I’d class him as a close friend. However, out of respect for our partners and friendships, I would never engage in texting him privately or meeting up just us. It just doesn’t seem right I’m sorry. There’s almost a sort of ‘known’ line that you do not cross out of respect and just being a decent person. On the flip side, my now ex best friend who has been eternally single, always joined in with us as couples or even just me and my ex, we had a group chat I set up because I’d found they wee messaging each other privately and I felt uncomfortable. I thought the group chat eliminated a need for private conversations For good reason I was uncomfortable- they had a ten month affair behind my back. And like you, I could see his fascination toward her unfolding, and her blatant flirting and over enthusiastic interest. Of course, when questioned, I was told I was being ridiculous/pathetic/paranoid etc etc. I hope he can give you a plausible explanation, but please don’t be swayed too easily if his response is similar with the gaslighting. They only get defensive when they know they’ve done something they shouldn’t. Good luck to you in whatever the outcome brings 💜

I say this because of experience and exactly the same circumstances. Sitting by the sea with someone in secret is a rather intimate thing. Been there and have been on the receiving end with someone who unbeknownst to me was doing so in secret.

He was grooming me to be the other woman in the end under the guise of we're only hanging out and swimming.

Sadly I had fallen for him, but put an end to the swims as it was quite clear we were more than just friends.

I am sorry that you are having to entertain thoughts like this in your first year of marriage xxx

My husband does triathlon he swims with a women from his training: they train, time whatever!! If it was just random I would be wary

She doesn't want her boyfriend to know she's going "swimming" with your DH because she shouldn't be doing it. Which should be ample indication to you that their behavior is suspect.

Swimming. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Has he lied to you about where he’s going when they go for a “swim”? Does he know you were on his phone? It definitely sounds like suspicious behaviour but without proof he will gaslight you into thinking you’re losing your mind. Been there and got the tshirt. That part is almost worse than the affair. I hate to say it but gut feeling is usually correct in these instances.

I don’t know what is going on, but the whole thing is inappropriate.

If it walks like a duck...

Get yours in a row pronto and then tell him

There's nothing to wait for

I'm sorry