Weird phone behaviour

[Dodgybehaviour6666]

I dont live with my bf. Together over 4 years. He's started turning his phone off when he's at mine and pretending it's dead. One morning I put it on charge as he hadn't bothered and it was already on 98%. He had missed calls and texts.
He's only just recently unblocked me on WhatsApp due to a similar event several months ago where he was not answering my messages but what online on WhatsApp.

Today he went home after 2 days at mine with his phone off. I messaged him at 8am. No reply. Went on my break at work. He was on WhatsApp. All day this has been the case. Usually he calls me at 3pm when I walk home from work. Today he didn't. I heard nothing for an hour. He claimed he'd been out for a couple of things. Usually he would say if he had gone out. This evening he's barely engaged with me. So I've asked him
He claims he's been messaging his adult daughter all day. He's still online now. I called him and he hung up and he's gone straight back on WhatsApp after we had a small disagreement about his lack of interest in me today.

He's usually in bed asleep by 9pm.

I am not demanding of his attention at all. But he goes out of his way to tell me he doesn't talk to anyone etc.

What would you think? He has no friends he keeps in touch with and has a history of cheating online in his last relationship.

You know deep down this isn’t a healthy relationship with healthy dynamics.

You know that this isn’t how people In loving relationships treat each other.

You know you deserve more and shouldn’t be playing these teenage games.

Communication is a basic habit in a relationship you shouldn’t need to bed and plead for it.

move on from this mess.

Take control here, end it and block. Whatever’s going on it’s clear he is an arsehole. You are wasting hours of your life checking what he is or isn’t doing. Why?

You would benefit from having some therapy, to try and understand why on earth you think you deserve a man that treats you like this.

By your 40s if you're still checking WhatsApp to see if he's online or what he's up to, it's time to call it a day. I can't understand why you're still together

It’s not the behaviour of someone whose transparent. TBH it doesn’t matter what he says or doesn’t say, you are not happy in this relationship so stop investing time in it.

Sounds like double life vibes

You don't have to prove anything, the crux of the matter is if your gut is telling you he's up to something; then the trust is eroded, it's gone. You don't trust him, and your relationship is doomed anyhow, this is your life now if you continue. 3 yrs from now, something will ping and you'll wonder if he's at it again, what he's up to.

It doesn't matter if he is or isn't, his shadiness and your gut instinct has ruined whatever it was that you had.

He’s a liar. You know that. Bullshitting that his phone is dead when it’s not etc, claiming it’s his daughter.

Just end it.

This is too much like hard work. Remove him.and get yourself some therapy and kindness in your life.

I’m sorry OP but he is clearly cheating. If he wasn’t he would be more than happy to prove it to you. Imagine the roles were reversed and you were wrongly accused of cheating. You would do everything you could to prove your innocence. And you wouldn’t stay with someone who was constantly making false accusations.

He won’t admit it until you have proof. And then he will gaslight you into thinking that it is your fault somehow. ‘You drove him to it with your constant surveillance’, ‘You’re always accusing him of cheating so he might as well do it.’

You don’t need proof of his cheating to break up. He is treating you like shit, that’s enough of a reason. He doesn’t deserve you. Find someone who does.

This is how I caught my partner cheating via wattsapp. Trust your gut

Wake up. You’re wasting your time. If he’s that shady you don’t want a long term relationship with this a-hole and certainly not that kind of stress and worry if children are involved. Get out while you can!! 🚩