How long do you think it takes to fall in love with someone?

[RichTea90]

Just simply curious… I know that it is different for every body, but if you were dating someone, how long do you think it takes to “fall in love” or know that you’ve developed feelings for them?

Saw him walking along the street and knew I would marry him….here we are 25 years later!

It's all fine and dandy until they fart and smoke you out.

Then it's all gone.

I've realised, reading this thread, that I can't imagine going out with someone for months if I wasn't already half in love with them. I'm more on the "within hours" end of the spectrum than the "after I'd been in a relationship with them for a year" end. I'm too introverted to want to spend heaps of time and be intimate with someone I'm not overly fussed about!

I wouldn't call it lust, either. It's always more of an emotional attraction. The physical attraction grows over time.

Enjoyed reading these. 😊

My husband was one of my best friends for over a year when we were at college but I didn’t fancy him instantly, it grew. He was so kind, hilariously funny and so attentive. He opened me up to so much incredible music and experiences. Before I knew it I was looking at his features in a new light. We’ve been together for 30 years now.

A month after we got married I was persued by the most ridiculously gorgeous doctor at work. He was so beautiful to look at and so charming but he would never have measured up. Despite his persistence I stayed faithful but I felt it was a test; the ego so loves to be flattered.

We’ve always respected one another and laughed at our faults. We have so much fun with our kids. They get a lot of respect too. I feel very lucky with my life.

I’ve also had a couple of heart stopping moments with other men. That was lust though. Love is something that grows with time. 🌱

My longest relationship was 13 years and he's the father of my children. He's a good person but we weren't good married. The other's have been around 1-3 years.

I have a few theories. In my 20s I was desperate for someone to love me. I was quite impressed by smart, flashy people.

More recently and since my divorce, I think men have an idea of what I'm going to be like and when I'm not that person they can't cope with the reality. I probably come across initially as really gentle, a bit of a doormat and an airhead. They think they're onto a good thing. The reality is that I want to get things done and push ahead (maybe a reaction from messing up my 20s and then being in a not great marriage). Even on a day off, I schedule in cleaning, running or doing something productive. Most men my age are planning retirement. I'm planning my next career.

I don't really understand "falling in love". I do however understand love.

The dog - the second I saw him.
Humans a little longer.

I disagree with many, I think it can be quite quick, and I don't think it has to be just lust.

I think it depends on the circumstances in which you meet, how much time you spend together and how quickly you get through stuff. Eg say If you swipe on a dating app, decide you are attracted and then meet once then date weekly, go on holiday after 6 months, meet their family after a year, it's different to say growing up with a friend and knowing them and their family and friends inside out, and then living with them and spending every waking hour together, and talking for 5 hours every night for a year.

Plus meeting someone at aged 15, 17, mid 20's, post divorce, may mean you are in a different place, seeking slightly different priorities.

The first time I met Dh was re a property. It wasn't a date, nothing romantic. I was shocked at my reaction re what a good basic sort, solid morals he was, the way he treated others generally. We spent so much time together we'd got through all the nitty gritty, all the basics, all the childhood memories, morals and views on fidelity etc very quickly, met all friends and family. It wasn't whirlwind it was slow and steady, but quickly, efficiently and detailed.

I knew immediately. What did I know? Not that he was 'the one', I never saw it quite like that, but I knew he was good, had all the qualities I valued. That hasn't changed after 25 years of marriage.

I think it really varies. For me, we had been dating about 6 weeks and we went on a weekend away - it was then that i realised I was falling. X

I'm really not sure I've ever been in love. Perhaps we all mean something different by it? I've been overwhelmed with desire to ... I dunno, meld with someone; that has lasted from hours to years. With ongoing relationships, I've developed attachment but I don't suppose that's what people mean by "in love".

I always enjoy hearing tales of couples who just knew from the start and have stayed in love for decades 🤗 On the rare occasions when I felt like I just knew, though, it turned out I was wrong!

I've got a suspicion that Being In Love is an active choice made by those magical couples. You need your choice of partner to be as committed as you are, to the same kind of love as you.

@Piggled : "When I met the last man I loved, within ten minutes of meeting him, I just felt, oh there you are then. And I just knew. More recognition and peace rather than ‘lightning’.

I’ll love him forever, I think. Feels like I knew him in a past life."

Yep. Same.

Moving on, getting a bit deeper, it Depends on so much, so many factors. Eg like op are you difficult to engage? Why is that? I'm personally not.

Eg, If you come from a very loving family, emotionally astute, not damaged from previous relationships, do not carrying any baggage. But secure in yourself and know exactly what you want, and have known for a long time, but just took a bit of time to find someone with those qualities. (And now all your friends and the people you mix with all have these very nice qualities, because nice attracts nice - when I go to parties of my 3 closest friends all their friends are equally particularly lovely - why do you think that is?)

Then that's totally different if somebody has been damaged before, is extremely cautious and will take their time in relationships because they recognise that they previously missed the red flags.

Fell in love with DH the day we met in September1968.
7 years of 'courting' and celebrating our 50th Wedding Anniversary next July.
Some things are meant to be.

I met my husband through OLD. When we went on our first date (a museum) we arranged to meet a the train station and walk from there. When I saw him walking to our meeting point I liked him straight away.
To me, the physical attraction always need te grow and is very strong related to their character.
We developed a very strong connection soon and we just knew it was the real stuff within a month.
We’re together for ten years, married one year. The mental connection is still very strong, we feel a deep love for each other and the physical attraction is still intense too. Just the thought of him can calm me when I’m feeling stressed. We know this’ll last.

Fell in love at the start of our first date and told my family that I'd met the man I was going to marry the next morning. Engaged in three weeks and married in 8 months. That was nearly 45 years ago and still going strong.

Depends how much quality time you spend together and everyone's different. I'd say usually 2 months to 6 months.

Wow, amazing

Sounds incredible 👏🏼