How long do you think it takes to fall in love with someone?

[RichTea90]

Just simply curious… I know that it is different for every body, but if you were dating someone, how long do you think it takes to “fall in love” or know that you’ve developed feelings for them?

I genuinely saw my now-dh's profile and thought "oh, there you are!". I constantly doubted how immediate it felt. Talked loads for a month or so then met up. Honestly feel I fell in love on our second date and we have now been together nearly 3 years, married for nearly a year, and I still feel I was right. He felt it on the first date, apparently. I was a bag of nerves and freaked out at how keen he was, then fell for him on the second date anyway!

We're in our 50s if that helps. I think I fell in love with my exh after a few months of dating. I have experienced love that took a long time to develop, and love that was almost instant. The only difference looking back is that I refused to believe the quicker ones for ages and felt like an idiot!

People (including my very younger self) confuse love with lust. Love is a slower burn. You have to take time to know you’re compatible. The lust is fun though don’t get me wrong

Yes exactly this 😊

I walked home from our first date with a huge smile and when I woke the next morning still smiling and with a lovely warm feeling, I knew it was the real thing.

Engaged in a month and recently celebrated our silver wedding.

Same. Of course it can be lightning at first but thats lust, not love.

You cannot possibly know someone's true heart after one first date. There have been men I have dated who seemed amazing for the first month - appeared to be very caring/kind etc and then their true colours came out.

I actually think "love at first sight" is a very dangerous concept and it can cause people to ignore red flags or rush into something with someone who is very good at being charming but underneath is a snake.

How gorgeous! Congratulations!

I'd say 3-6 months. But with me it means nothing because I've never stayed with anyone.

I think real love takes many months and then much, much longer to grow more. You can't know someone after only a few weeks because you haven't spent enough time with them.

Saying that, when I met my partner, we connected instantly so we both thought if could be something special. You can't actually know without the passage of time though.

6-8 weeks I’d say.

Agree with this. I connected instantly with my husband when we met and found him so attractive it felt like love. My mum died three months after we started dating. That showed me who he really was and he was absolutely incredible. That was when I started to really love him.

You cant really know someone fully enough to love them until you've seen them in all sorts of stressful situations. That is the true test- and only time reveals that.

Lust - immediately

Love - months

We were 19 .. still together 14 years later and both lust and love are still going strong

So sorry for your loss. Losing your mum must have been so difficult - especially when you’re meeting someone new. I am glad they were great with you though.

I agree - these kind of moments in life truly reveal someone’s true character. Thank you for sharing.

That’s a shame @CharlieDickens Obviously you don’t have to say, but do you have any idea why that is?

Same. It was about 3-4 weeks in I realised.

IME, a few months.

After our second date I knew that this was the man I wanted to be with forever, and said that to my DM and my best friend.
30+ years married, and grateful everyday that he felt the same!

Honestly I don’t know. It was absolutely mental. The mind boggles.

It depends how much time you spend with them as well, If you see them every week or two it'll be longer than if you see them every day.

True

It was about 3 months with DH. I didn’t tell him at the time in case he thought it was too soon, but a couple of weeks later, at the end of an evening out he said ‘Am I allowed to tell you that I love you?’ His ex had run a mile when he’d said it to her so he was worried the same thing would happen with me! I just smiled and said ‘Yes you are…I love you too!’ But that was really just the start; really loving someone is so much more than feeling in love with them, wonderful though that feeling is. We’ve spent 35 years together trying to love each other well. Failing sometimes, being selfish sometimes and not really feeling it sometimes, but we’ve committed to be together through thick and thin and so we have learnt that real love is actually a pretty gritty thing as well as a romantic thing. We’ve had to dig deep at times to work through things and recalibrate our relationship. Loving someone isn’t always sparks and hearts but it is a growing, deepening, nurturing thing if you are both devoted to loving each other properly. We love and appreciate each other more than ever now. He shows me every day how much he loves and cares for me and I hope he can say the same about me.

Any man I’ve ever loved I had a weird feeling the moment I saw them. Like i just knew. When my (now) DH walked into the office on his first day the first time I saw him I felt sick as I just ‘knew’ without even speaking to him that he’d be one of them. It was awful as I had to work with him so kept my distance. I didn’t think it would happen, i didn’t think he also liked me. So it confused me as I thought my instincts had been wrong for the first time. Turned out I was wrong. Three years after he walked into my life he’d proposed. Mad but I just knew.

I’ve been with my boyfriend two years and after a month or two I started to think “shiiit I really, REALLY like this guy!” I had such amazing feelings of lust, chemistry etc, but it was one day after about three months that we were cooking together in the kitchen and I just looked at him and had this overwhelming feeling and knew in that moment I had fully fallen in love with him. I didn’t say anything, but less than a week later he told me for the first time he loved me… we must have just completely been on the same wavelength and felt it around the same time!

I’m like this. Also, I know immediately when I could never develop that for someone. So, people I’ve explored dating, I can generally tell immediately whether I could or couldn’t possibly ever develop those feelings for them, and go from there. It’s not conscious, and I’ve tried deviating from it but it doesn’t work!

I met someone and on the first date we talked for thirteen hours. It felt like it was maybe an hour, two tops. No gaps or awkward conversation lapses, so really easy, comfortable, and I only realised my feelings the next day. It’s eighteen months later and the feelings haven’t changed. I’ve loved three men in my life (partners) and it has never been as quick as that. Maybe it’s life experience, maybe because we’re both older, but now I think when it’s right you just know. I can’t ever imagine us not being together.

I find all of this so interesting!
All of my ex's were slow burns and it took me ages to be sure of my feelings and to trust theirs but with my husband, I just "knew" from our first date. I know it sounds cliché but he was just different and everything about it felt different. We are about to celebrate 16 years together, 13 of those married 😊