Is he doing this to be abusive?

[Lyannaa]

We've had an on/off relationship for about 7 years but he does this thing where a few days after we've had sex, he complains that his testicles hurt and do I have an infection or have I been with anyone else? This pisses me off because I've never cheated on him - he is the one who cheated on me in the past. It seems to be a pattern of behaviour that he does which leaves me thinking I wish I didn't have sex with him.

He also complains about 'how I taste' saying my body fluids taste a bit sour. I asked him what did he expect it to taste like, strawberries? He said 'well it did last week'.

I am a very hygienic person who always showers meticulously right before if I know I'm going to have sex. At the time of the sex it's always pretty explosive but then he says this stuff and I think why do I bother.

Is he doing this to be abusive? Surely if he was genuinely concerned about having an infection he would go to the doctor. He has an autoimmune condition which necessitates urology appointments but he always ignores the letters he has about it.

Maybe stick with the off part of the relationship...

He is basically accusing you of cheating on him, and you know that his accusations are completely made up and without foundation.

He is doing it on purpose to upset you, so yes it is abusive.

Why are you having sex with this insulting pig.

Yes. Yes he is. And your relationship needs to go back to "off" and then you need to throw the switch into the deepest ocean - the Mariana Trench should do it - so that it can never go back "on".

😱

Jesus wept,just make the off part permanent, he sounds vile

Why? What would you keep going back to that?

STDs don't even work like that !

Wave him bye bye.

Eww bin him off, he is an arsehole 👎

It's not that he's going to be abusive, he's abusive already. Open your eyes!

well he’s wearing a condom though right?

Why the actual fuck would you let this abusive immature pathetic specimen within 100 yards of your vagina?

Come on OP find some self respect and dump this gross loser and work on raising your bar out of the gutter. Its better to be single than with a bell end like this cretin

The only reason I keep going back is that we have a child together. I hope it will be different and he will treat me better next time.

It won’t and he won’t. Abusers don’t change, they just ramp up the abuse

And how many more times are you going to smash your head against a brick wall before you realise it does you no good?

Your son deserves stability. You can give him that alone. You can't give him it by going back and forth in and out of a relationship with his Dad

This pisses me off because I've never cheated on him - he is the one who cheated on me in the past

I'd wonder if he still is or still would ... because he's clearly projecting.

I suspect he's also implying your different taste is due to you cheating.

(Anyway what woman would taste exactly the same throughout the month).

He wants you to feel absolutely horrible and disgusted with yourself. He has cheated on you. Why on earth are you in a relationship with him? You should be crossing the road to avoid him.

I doubt a cheater would stop cheating.

The fact that he's acting like this really makes me wonder whether he is or would again

It's how his mind works.

Good grief he's a scumbag.

End things with him permanently.

You deserve better.
Your child deserves a home without a misogynist living in it 24/7.

if he complained to me that his testicals hurt i'd kick him in them to make sure they did.

He many times can he kick you before you realise it’s not going to get better the next time? You’re not giving him chance after chance because you really believe it will be different, you’re doing it for another reason, maybe a hope you can be a family, because you didn’t grow up with parents who were together, or maybe you’re lonely, or you think you can’t do better? You need to figure out the real reason and then maybe see if some therapy could help.

I don't think anyone decides to behave appallingly while thinking, "yeah, I want to be abusive so I'm going to do this thing."

But it IS emotionally abusive and super twatty behaviour and you deserve a great deal better.

He would never get in my pants again, he sounds disgusting.

Please stop doing this to your child. They must be so confused. Model a healthy relationship to them - one where you walk away from someone who doesn't respect you.