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Original poster

Meeting his friend. Am I being OTT?

45 replies

Uncertain007 · 06/10/2024 21:41

Hello
Tonight I had a date night with a guy I'm seeing. Ultimately he asked if his bestie could join us so of course that was fine.
My date didn't offer to buy me a drink though he bought for him and his friend and while I wasn't excluded, they were talking about their old uni days, mutual friends and so on. As I've known the guy for about 2 months I did feel left out. Should I mention something or do I need to get over myself?

I did get a few hugs and kiss as we left the bar. Count my blessings? Haha

OP posts:
Olika · 06/10/2024 21:47

So the date was three of you whole time?
I experienced this at some point when my now DH's friend was over in the UK but even then we would spend some time with him and then continue our evening/night without him. And I never felt like a third wheel.
I wouldn't dumb him for one occasion but if he continues bringing his mate(s) along then I would reconsider.

TwistedWonder · 06/10/2024 21:47

That’s not what I’d call a date tbh. Hes having a night out with his mate and you’re the third wheel

Hrs an arsehole sorry. I’d be binning him off after that performance especially the fact he bought his mate a drink and not you - WTAF??

twomanyfrogsinabox · 06/10/2024 21:50

He didn't offer you a drink? But bought drinks for his 'friend' that's not on, how close friends are they?.

Original poster
Uncertain007 · 06/10/2024 21:51

Lol it's like our tenth date. The friend was around unexpectedly and I was told we could stick to our original plan (being alone together) but I agreed to meet the friend.

The friend offered to buy me a drink but my date didn't.

I'll see how it goes next time

OP posts:
QueenMegan · 06/10/2024 21:55

Jesus wept what's wrong with blokes these days. I think I'd have gone home.

Sugarysugar · 06/10/2024 21:56

I can't believe he bought his friend a drink and didn't offer to buy one for you.
I'd ditch him on that alone.

Icanttakethisanymore · 06/10/2024 21:57

I think it’s fine the friend was there given he gave you the option but they should have made you feel included and not offering to buy you a drink is a bit weird.

TwistedWonder · 06/10/2024 21:57

QueenMegan · 06/10/2024 21:55

Jesus wept what's wrong with blokes these days. I think I'd have gone home.

I’d have said no when he asked if his mate could tag along or I’d have cancelled and let him meet his mate.

It’s the not buying a drink that would get me walking out and going home.

TheseBootsAreWalking · 06/10/2024 22:00

I would be bothered by this and left.

Your date had a date and it wasnt you.

pikkumyy77 · 06/10/2024 22:02

I would have left. If a man isn’t more interested in dating me and getting into my pants than he is reminiscing over beer with an old mate he’s not interested enough in me.

Original poster
Uncertain007 · 06/10/2024 22:11

Date and I are meeting tomorrow (as planned). I'll see how it goes. Luckily I was s**t upon before and now realise my full worth and so I'll update you guys.

Advice: a guy can seem completely different when with his friends. Observe!

OP posts:
SunflowerTed · 06/10/2024 22:11

pikkumyy77 · 06/10/2024 22:02

I would have left. If a man isn’t more interested in dating me and getting into my pants than he is reminiscing over beer with an old mate he’s not interested enough in me.

youre probably single with this outlook

Toopies · 06/10/2024 22:13

I would have left him to it.
He bought his friend a drink and not you!
For goodness sake, your self esteem must be on the floor to have sat through that.

Original poster
Uncertain007 · 06/10/2024 22:17

Well I arrived and bought myself a drink as their glasses were full. Once they'd finished I'd almost finished mine but he just bought his friend and himself a drink (must have been his round).
But yeah, still rude

OP posts:
EveryOtherNameTaken · 06/10/2024 22:21

Not buying you a drink is the issue for me.

BobbyBiscuits · 06/10/2024 22:22

I think the fact he bought him and his mate a drink and didn't include you is very rude. Unless it was genuinely a case of you had lots of your drink left and they'd both finished theirs.

If it wasn't for that the fact he introduced you to his pal isn't really bad, it could be seen as a good thing. But I'd be expecting to go back to theirs alone afterwards. Or for a drink alone when mate leaves.

It seems he somewhat ditched you to continue his evening with the mate?
So I wouldn't waste too much energy on him.

Original poster
Uncertain007 · 06/10/2024 22:22

Should I say something? I'm meant to be meeting tomorrow and don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 06/10/2024 22:23

EveryOtherNameTaken · 06/10/2024 22:21

Not buying you a drink is the issue for me.

Agree. That’s rude as fuck and sending the message that they’re out together, you’re the spare part. There’s absolutely no justification at all imo

TwistedWonder · 06/10/2024 22:24

Uncertain007 · 06/10/2024 22:22

Should I say something? I'm meant to be meeting tomorrow and don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill

Yes . Tell him you thought it was rude. Dint be a doormat letting him think his behaviour was ok when it really wasn’t

Freshflower · 06/10/2024 22:32

Id say as its only been 2 months , leave it. Him and his bestie probably just got carried away with banter. The fact he brought him out to meet you could be a good sign. Not buying you a drink though, that's a bit shit

Original poster
Uncertain007 · 06/10/2024 22:38

Freshflower · 06/10/2024 22:32

Id say as its only been 2 months , leave it. Him and his bestie probably just got carried away with banter. The fact he brought him out to meet you could be a good sign. Not buying you a drink though, that's a bit shit

Edited

Thanks
Yes we've only known each other for two months and apparently the friend likes me. See what happens.

OP posts:
Mls1984btc · 06/10/2024 22:40

Uncertain007 · 06/10/2024 22:38

Thanks
Yes we've only known each other for two months and apparently the friend likes me. See what happens.

Show quote history

who cares if his friend likes you - you do not need their approval.

Are you in your 20s?

Attelina · 06/10/2024 22:42

'My date didn't offer to buy me a drink though he bought for him and his friend'

I'd have left and blocked him.

Attelina · 06/10/2024 22:44

What's his mate like? He offered to buy you a drink so he seems a better option than the one you're seeing.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/10/2024 22:44

You do realise @SunflowerTed don't you, that that would be preferred option for @pikkumyy77 than going out with someone who isn't good enough?