Husband and Holland

[whsm17]

Husband wants to go to Holland for 2 days with his friends on a bachelor party . None of his friends are married and I don't really know them personally. Idk how to feel about it .. to let him go or not ....

I know that and that's the reason I'm panicking.

He told me his friend was asking if I will be coming but also said that you don't know anyone so it will make you uncomfortable.... but I said I would like to go , you will be there .

It's a ticket to cheat for 2 days , I would die thinking all those sick thing he would be doing , I don't trust him , he has not been truthful and loyal to me

Why are you with him f you don’t trust him, and he is laughing about that?

Why don't you leave him? He treats you like a joke.

The fact that you were willing to turn a blind eye to him secretly filming your cousin in the shower limits any sympathy I might have had for you. The police should have been called for that.

There’s no helping some people.

You have to get away from this man. It's no relationship and he treats you appallingly.

If he is going to cheat he will cheat whether in Holland or not.
A group of friends can't make you do things.
It all depends on his moral compass and how much he respects you.
If you have doubts then you don't really trust him.

You wouldn't be posting on here either.

Don't waste your energy.
Let him.decide if he wants to go.
Regardless dump him.

I was in denial for long , I didn't cry or react for long time, I just felt dead and still feel the same . Yes police should have been called but my kids don't deserve that to know what he did , it would ruin their mental health .

Oh my goodness I just looked at your other threads OP - I actually remembered the last one.
You will never change him. You can't trust him. You either put up with who he is or you seperate.
Surely being single has got to be better than this relationship.

Bloody hell the guy is a filthy dog.

He surprises me with traumas , I don't trust him, I have told him, but every time he wants to start a new life , and it's making me sick , yes I'm with him still , I have swere depression , and I need financial stability , at least my kids have a house and they eat well dress well and have life facilities I would never be able to do that on my own , mentally , I am drained

Stop being controlling.

You cannot tell a grown adult where they can and can’t go.

If you don’t trust him, then leave.

Wow.
Just wow.

but my kids don't deserve that to know what he did , it would ruin their mental health

Not nearly as much as it will when this comes out later and they find out you condoned it and didn't protect them from such a sick individual.

I would think he's probably already been out on the pull with these mates in the UK when they go out. Never letting you meet them, and even hiding your picture from them, is a big reg flag. They might not even know you exist, or he doesn't want them to be able to recognise you, so nobody can find out who you are to tip you off about him. Not great to be ignoring that.

I didn't think about that picture fact .... I have had an impression of them nit being good guys so I let that slip. I just said to him no night outs pls as I have insecurities , he asked me If its local , but I made it clear no nights out , I'm gonna be with my parents in Oct holidays and he said I will be out and you will never know ....

So there's a long list of sexually depraved ( and illegal) behaviour that you have chosen to ignore. In that case, this isn't any worse than what you usually let him get away with, so why let it bother you? In fact he can do stuff that's legal to satiate his sexual aappetite while there, so that's an improvement.
Are you still sleeping with him? Don't know how you could if you do, but if you don't, I suppose you could just continue in a platonic co-parenting, co-dependency way. You need to get better at detaching from him emotionally if you are aiming to turn a blind eye. No point complaining if not doing anything about it. Live under the same roof, but separately, if you must and accept your choice. Maybe one day he will do something so heinous that you'll call time - but at this point it looks like you'd go to any lengths to stop your DC's finding out - actually less likely if you leave when they are young. Your DC's are the constant excuse you give yourself for staying together. When they get older, they will find out off others what he does rather than you.

My husband went on his stag do to Amsterdam. Despite me saying no sex shows please .. It still happened anyway. Set your boundaries and hope for the best, but be warned that peer pressure is a powerful factor xxx

He's a grown adult. You can't forbid home from doing anything!
You can express an opinion but you can't say no like you could to a child...

My God.

OP you're married to a sex offender. Who you are enabling. You have no boundaries or standards. Why bother asking when you know the answer?

He's disgusting. What a waste of your life staying with somebody like this. I'd rather scrape by than stay with a pig like him!

If he went to the effort and risk of installing a camera in the bathroom to watch your family member showering then you are kidding yourself to think he won't do anything in Amsterdam where he'll be with all his friends btw

WTAF.
OP you stayed with a man who did this? You have daughters?
I have no words.

Appalling response.
You’re knowingly living with a pervert.