secur, sweetie, what you and dh went through last year was just awful. I do understand how you feel. Any mother would worry about this. And there is a difference between knowing something intellectually and feeling it's true emotionally. A big difference.
I was watching Dr Phil yesterday and he was talking about trust. He said that trust isn't a question of whether the person you trust deserves to be trusted or not. The issue is that you can't trust if you couldn't deal with the results if your trust were to be broken. So it is very much your problem, not dh's. For that reason, it may not be essential for him to go to counselling. You may be able to solve the problem by going there alone. That isn't to say that he wouldn't benefit from learning to talk about his feelings more, but if he just won't go, you may still be able to get over this.
He was exonerated from all blame, yet you still don't feel right. Remember - all of us can identify with that. My dh has never harmed a child as far as I know but one day he might, as might any man. So how would you ever feel safe, with him or any other man? It's a question of weighing up the likelihood of what might happen, and learning to trust him again. And a counsellor will help guide you to that.
Good luck, stay strong xxxx