WWYD - ex belongings

[Nipper2020]

Ex boyfriend moved out of my house 18mths ago, I ended it due to domestic abuse. He is a covert narcissist, was coercive controlling violent once & has been a drug addict in the past.
He moved 1 mile from mine into a tiny bedsit. My guess is to keep tabs on me. He uses any excuse to contact me I've blocked him on every platform. No contact (unless he engineers it!)
He left a few items of clothing & some other valuable belongings when he left saying he would collect them. I know he has only left them here so he has an excuse to come back/contact me (& for free storage). He has no space in bedsit for his things & his land lady is awful so dumping things outside door is not feasible & too inflammatory.
He lives so near I am scared for repercussions. I desperately want his stuff gone and I don't want to see him. Just the thought if seeing him makes me feel ill.

Do I:

1. Move his things to storage nearby for one month, post him the details, pay for the month & its down to him to collect. [worry is - moving his things will trigger a controlling rage]
2. Ask him to get the stuff from mine & arrange a time I'm not here or I have someone else here. [i don't want to see him, it triggers me but me not being here will prob cause a tirade of abuse]

Anything will trigger a potential flare up. What shall i do, I want him gone from my life. Any ideas?
Thank you wise ladies x

Heavy & bulky tools & sports equipment ...
Its a nightmare isn't it ...

Yeah weapons need to be broken or lost i think .. x

Ok the police might not help as threat not current but you should definitely register your fears. Can you send the stuff in an Uber? Or to his work?

This. That is really shocking OP and I wpuld hope and expect the police to take your fear of him seriously.

Driving big past your house multiple times a day is intimidation - unless you live on a high street. And then it can still be.

I think you should get your house, phone, car and devices checked for spyware. Talk to Womens Aid.

It would technically be classed as fraud on your part if you gave his details without his permission.

Do you know where his bedsit is? The exact address… I guess you do as you were going to give this information.
You can arrange for this to be dropped off to him by a friend or relative of yours so no contact from you.
I’d usually say leave outside his house but I wouldn’t be leaving weapons outside on the street for any Oscar Pistorious to pick up!

If you let this guy come to your house you are insane. If you let him come over and someone hand him weapons you are doubly insane. Take them to police if you must, they're not going to chase you down the street to return them to you. Just hand them over at the desk and leave. Anything else either take it to the local tip or stick it in a box and post it to his family, without paying extra for insurance, you're not obliged to store his things at your place and its value isn't your concern. He's had 18 months to collect and hasn't despite driving past twice daily, that's on him. And you need to move because your life is at risk if he's stalking you like he is, there's nothing trumps that. Get the house up for sale, look for a new job elsewhere and go. Get your tech wiped too or buy new, if he's keeping tabs on you somehow that's most likely how. You've normalised all this far too much and are now lackadaisical as a result. You're also still altering your behaviour due to him which means you're still being controlled, you'd not store anyone else's possessions in your house for 18 months when you had no intention of seeing them again.

Just seen it's metal, contact a scrap merchant who will collect for free. It's junk and you don't want it.

Thanks everyone x

I would pack up every single thing and have a friend there for when he comes to pick up the items. You go in the bathroom when he arrives so you don't have to see or hear him x

Can you pack it all up and send it round in a taxi or drop it at his friend's house? Or do you have a friend who will let you store it in a shed or loft space (depending on how much there is) then at least it's out of the way? I agree that you need to have your phone/laptop/house/car checked for bugs and tracking devices, and make sure you have good security.

I'd take his stuff to his work place minus the weapons. I'd also report the fact that he's driving by your home multiple times a day and seems to know your movements. I'd also get some kind of ring doorbell or other cameras.

A cross bow and an air rifle???

I would bring these to the nearest police station and hand them to whomever is on duty.

You can't go carrying a shotgun and crossbow out and about in public, it's an offence! I can't believe people are suggesting that. It's an offence to even possess a shotgun without a licence. You need to contact the police and explain what's happening, and get them to come and get the weapons.

Definitely tell police you have weapons in your possession you want to be rid of.
right now you are holding a crossbow in your house!! It could be used against you.

You need to tell the police everything you have said on this thread. He is stalking you, he has history of domestic violence and his previous victims have been too scared to report it. He has left lethal weapons in your home. This is appalling.

OP, you do realise that there are laws surrounding the storage of firearms? You can't just have them in your home. They have to be in a lockable safe that is inaccessible to anybody but you. Does he hold a firearms license? I would absolutely take them to the police or contact your nearest firearms unit for advice.

Don't carry weapons anywhere. Ring the police and ask their advice.

It's an air rifle.

@category12 Yes I'm aware of that, I have a lot of experience with firearms as it was a sport within my family and we had a lot of guns at home (no animals were harmed). It is still a weapon, there are still laws surrounding their use and it still shouldn't be left lying around. I would still arrange for it to be taken by the police.

Honestly - I'd take them to the tip. He's not collected them in 18 months so clearly doesn't want them. If he ever asks just say oh Joe bloggs picked them up for you ages ago! I thought you must have sent him.

You need to go to the police. He is stalking and harassing you. He is the last person who needs weapons!

Do you have anyone with a shed/garage they could maybe store the stuff in then send a letter with a date he must collect by and then if he doesnt it will be disposed of.

If not I like the idea you sending it to him, it would probably be cheaper to send a few Evri parcels than rent a unit. If you are lucky Evri will loose or damage a couple of his items.

They only way it could work him collecting from yours is you tell him time and date - he will be itching to come round so will agree. DO NOT BE THERE. Get trusted friends and family to handle it this will put you in the control seat. Give him 1 hour to collect (depending on quantity of stuff) your people are there to help him load it into his car and get him on his way. Been there and know how it feels. I put my exH stuff in my garage it was there for 2 years, he came off the mortgage and he still didnt collect, I threatened to sell it, throw it away, etc in the end sending a letter with a final date was the only option and my friends dealt with him on the day and I wasnt there which wound him up completely but made him see I was in control.

It's a expensive, but in your situation I would ask a Solicitor to write to him, stating you don't want any further contact, but that he is to arrange through a 3rd party transfer of his property from your possession into his. Put a reasonable deadline on it, so perhaps 30 days.

Call the police and report his harassment. Tell them about the weapons too so they are aware amd can guide you
Change your phone as he sounds like he's installed spyware on it - which means he may well be able to see this thread.
As a victim of stalking and DA, my advice is not to underestimated him. Things will escalate after you do this which is why you need to report him.