Where can I find my Friend with Benefits or Hookups

[LookinforSomething]

Hi All

Been a lurker for a while here on mumsnet.

I am about 5 years divorced with a 11 year old child. My ex looks after our daughter for a week and then me.

I know this may sound bad but i want to explore intimacy again, my time with my husnad in the marriage was boring as hell.... the best thing was our child but i feel i have really missed out.

I did a search on these forums and i keep seeing the webiste fab being mentioned for FWB search. However what website is this, a google search brings up fabdating.com, fabhookups.com. I think some people take about fabswingers, is that a different site to the other two?

Any other websites you lovely people can recommend?

Xxxxx

@LookinforSomething pof = plenty of fish. I think you could get casual on traditional dating sites too. You can suss someone out and there may be an attraction but nothing long term so would suit a FWB situation.

Bumble has an option for intimacy without commitment which plenty of men have other profiles

Go on to any App just say that. You'll be inundated be careful

*on their profiles

Bumble is full of men only wanting 'intimacy without commitments' and 'fun casual dates' I'd start right there

Those kinds of people usually find each other. They “know” each other, it’s how so many people end up having affairs. She just needs to go for a sleazy charmer and she’ll be all set, he’ll be sexting her within hours. It’s not hard as a woman to get “just sex” if that’s what you’re looking for.

This sounds dangerous with your child around even if you plan to when they are not home

This sounds dangerous with your child around even if you plan to when they are not home

^^

i met loads of really nice people, many of whom became friends later, on an app called FEELD

you know, back in the day, it might have taken a bit longer but engaging with another human being in RL was worth the investment of time. Why does everything need to be so instant nowadays. Have people really lost the art of forming relationships?

go on the FWB thread OP and see how happy and content those women actually are with the type of "FWB" engagement they get with a bloke on the basis you seem to want. Hint, they're pretty damn miserable and unfulfilled when the bloke gets what they want, ghosts them but then turns up randomly when they need another go at it. It's like a merry-go-round, but they won't admit it and think it's emancipation, yet they come on the thread and describe their situation like they're hooked on a drug they can't do without. It's sad.

Ask yourself if that's really what you need.

It's pretty bloody dangerous for a woman, let alone a child!

OMG I can't imagine having sex with a colleague and then having to work with them. criiiiiinge!!

Women have choices to make bad ones, children do not have any choice

You’re brave OP. Agree that if you find someone don’t take them back to yours even when your child is not there. Can be dangerous going to his place too. Hotels best.

Jesus. The woman just wants a bloody shag, leave it out!

Speaking from extensive experience, it is entirely possible to be a parent and enjoy casual sex, in perfect safety and without your DC finding out- especially as OP has entire childfree weeks at a time.

You are just as likely to find a dangerous man while on the hunt for a committed relationship- more so I would say, as the more enmeshed you get the more difficult it is to leave at the drop of a hat.

I have been on Fabswingers - there are loads of single men on there and relatively few women.
However most of the men are just wanting benefits so I tried a few clubs as I could take my pick of men in a safe environment- private rooms but anything you aren’t happy with you can just walk out and there are staff to help
I found a friend with benefits on Tinder after a lot of phone calls and coffee dates weeding out the frogs .

Read through some of the other posts- there are some total prudes on here
Yes be careful but I get you aren’t ready for a full on relationship right now which is totally understandable- just got Channel 4 on and there’s a whole program about open relationships!
If you want to explore if you are bisexual then you can go on Fab etc and just accept messages from couples - many couples are really keen on a regular “ unicorn “
Tick can’t host- there’s no need to and why run the risk of someone calling round when your kid is there .
If you go to a club or private party there’s no obligation to do anything you can just chat and flirt- most clubs are really friendly and people will be happy just to talk and tell you how things work etc .

If you have never used them how do you know?

Can be difficult to go “ out on the pull” when all your friends are married.
You don’t necessarily want colleagues and friends that’s what you are looking for as people can be so judgmental

Couldn't remember if id posted before but try PoF or Fabswingers. Like with anyone, I think you can then chat and gauge someone without being too upfront and weed out the weirdos. If you are too upfront ie in your profile, I think you'll be inundated.

I met someone via PoF who wasn't suited long term at all but was a safe fwb for a long while. We were friendly then one thing led to another. I was scarred by a bad relationship so needed something to ease me into dating again. Fab gets loads of traffic and there are normal people there but actually you can afford to be picky. I think these fwb situations can happen with any of the dating sites as its all about working out whether you're on the same page datingwise.

Interesting thread

’Pure’ is one I’ve used over the years, but Feeld is also very good 😊