Wiped from his social media

[Disappearedwife]

Have been married a number of years and have two small children under 4.
Husband has felt pushed out by my attention being on the children and I discovered and affair (from when our DC was just a newborn). It’s now over he says (she’s in another country so I would know if they were seeing each other).

We keep having the same argument about his social media where over the years he stopped posting about me. It’s been 3 years since I existed. There’s lots and lots of other pics of our kids or his life but I just don’t exist at all. He says I’m controlling trying to dictate what he posts. I’ve said it’s hurtful and suspicious that I don’t exist.
originally he deleted all traces of me just after our baby was born and he started the affair. Presumably to hide from the other woman that he was still married to me and living with me etc.

He now won’t post any pics of me or include info that I exist. I keep reiterating the same points of if he loves me (which is text me this morning) and keeps saying how good our relationship is nowadays, why am I a dirty secret? I think it also shows all his friends how little respect me has for me.

please help me explain why this hurts me so much and also I’m so angry?

The dead give away too is his friends list might be full of lots of women. That is a huge warning sign of a red flag by men on social media. I am sorry you are going through this.

Have you ever asked him why he hasn't left you? You know why you haven't left him. Might be interesting to see what his take on it is. Maybe you're both just waiting until the kids are older. (NOT excusing his actions BTW, he's an a*se.)

Well my social media is full of my … dog! No Dh and no DD, sometimes friends but that’s it and I rarely post. DH doesn’t use it at all.

Do you love him? What’s the rest of your lives like? Are you both working on the marriage or is it over?
If it’s all transactional and there’s no love why is important to you that he posts photos of you? There’s no trust, you say you’ll leave one day. Just because he posts about you it really means nothing, he can still have affairs. Some women will not care that he has a wife and children.

I can see why it bugs you, I can see why it may hurt you but being concerned about social media would be the last of my worries here.

You only get one life, it just seems so sad to be stuck in this position. I’d have to have a frank conversation about what’s actually happening, saving the marriage or saying bollocks, it’s over, but money/children means we have to stay together and the best of it and glean some life for yourself. See friends, socialise, etc You need some joy from life.

I know this is an old thread but for anyone suggesting op posts photos and tags him; I have settings to mean I have to approve any tagged photos of me. So if I don’t approve them they don’t appear on my profile at all.
I don’t use Facebook anymore other than to check my hobby group page; don’t use it to share anything and don’t post anything, haven’t done for years which is why I basically closed all my settings down.
But just tagging him in stuff may not necessarily mean it will appear on his page.
I do hope things worked out for op if she comes back to this thread.

Until you feel able /willing to leave, you aren't going to be able to set him an ultimatum about his behaviour. So he has all the power in the relationship and he knows it.

You will need to find a way to sweep away those reasons if you want to reclaim your power