Thank you to all the posters who have read my original post and who have tried to offer some ideas/ support.
I did not start the thread to upset anyone, and am sorry if offense has occured in the course of the discussion.
Sitdownplease and sleepy, please re-read the posts i have made. i have not once referred to or made sweeping generalisations about 'rural types'.
For what its worth, I am ^a rural type* , I have (apart from when gaining my degree) lived and worked in a rural area surrounded by farming, and yes, even hunting and shooting. My grandfather owned a farm and yes he also owned a gun, which he used to put any of the injured livestock to sleep.
he hated doing it and it would upset him terribly whenever he had to use it.I had and still have a great deal of respect for him and his humanity when it came to caring for his animals.
When I was growing up several of my relatives had rifles and shot animals for sport, we are still friendly although they do not still shoot (can't help but mention that one of them shot himself by accident- thats got to be a good enough reason not to use guns for sport).
I do have strong views about hunting and shooting and I cannot apologise for these, I am as entitled to my opinions as you are to yours. i DO have friends who are part of a local hunt, I respect their views and they mine, in short we agree to disagree and don't dicuss the issue. Please can we in fact remember that hunting is in actual fact illegal these days under most circumstances so suerly my views cannot be that off the wall, although like I have said again and again, I was not posting about the general public, just this one man who unfortunately is part of my family.
if you read my OP the problem with the gun is in the context of his actions and attitude about the rest of life. he is a deeply unpleasant and intimidating man which is probably why his possesion of a lethal weapon scares me. Unfortunately guns are NOT always used exactly for the purposes they are sold and licenced, you only have to watch the news for gods sakes!
A very dear friend of our family killed himself with his shotgun a few years back and if he hadn't had access to such an effective means he would probably have lived long enough to get some help. So you see guns have touched my life already.
Aside from that surely there is enough pain and suffering in this world without bringings into our homes.
I realise that i have probably come across as highly intolerant but that is not my general life stance, it is this particular man and the way he exerts such a malign influence over everything he encounters.
The posters who have pointed out that I cannot protect my Ds from other people and their opinions, of course you are correct but I do have a duty to stop him being upset and in contact with people that seem to hate the world and everything in it.
I have already tried to encourage/offer my MIL every opportunity to come over here, any time!! But she is very reluctant. I truly don't know why but can only suspect it is something to do with FIL,as i said before he is very controlling.