Am I being overly sensitive ?

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So I’ve been telling my partner how much I actually want to work now since my kids are now at school and I just want to be successful really. Whenever I speak to him about job searching to be honest he doesn’t seem too interested lol he just says oh ok go for it and goes on his phone. There’s this course I wanted to do which I won’t be able to afford to be honest in one go as it’s about or near £1350 , so he’s said he’ll pay for it which I was happy about but times been dragging on a bit now and I don’t want to bring it up and ask him if he can pay for the course now as I’m just not a asker I don’t like to take tbh.

I done a bit more searching and looked at a course too do kitchen fitting as it’s more affordable and I’d just love to be able to learn how to fit kitchens and bathrooms etc.. so I got excited about it as I had found the right course to do for that and I’ve showed him and he jokes around and says
“yeah what does your mrs do? Oh my mrs fits kitchens” and laughs and then says
“Oh yeah I’m going to the pub with the lads , oh who you going with ? Ah I’m going with (my name) (his mates names) “

My face just dropped after that to be honest I don’t know why and I just came off of the course application on my phone and then he says I’m only joking you know , go for it do it it’s good money and kept looking at me sort of smirking and I look at him back and say what ? And he just smiles still and says what’s up with you

I’m I being overly sensitive or ? 🤷‍♀️

I’d do the course and crack on. It’s a great two fingers up to him.

Most definitely

To me those comments reveal he's a sexist who thinks manual labour like that is a "man's job."
By all means take the course. Don't let him discourage you.

I can understand his sexist attitude, and as much as I hate to admit it, I think a lot of men are like this. Like assuming all tradespeople are men and all nurses are women.

I think he was being an arse, and I do not agree with that attitude at all. Do the course, it’s sounds great and kitchen fitters are certainly in demand around here!

There’s an all-female trade business near me too that purposefully uses the all-female aspect in its marketing, to break the mould and misconceptions, (I can’t remember the name fully but similar to ‘The Handy Hen’) and it gets rave reviews from many of my friends.

X

Yes you're being too sensitive.

I used to work in a hotel and one of the men who regularly came in, used to positively beam and boast about his wife who was a mechanic and was one of the best in the trade.

If you become a kitchen fitter you’ll have to toughen up - you’ll hear far more sexism than that!
Just crack on, do the course, and prove him idiotically wrong.

What was the £1350 course? He did offer to pay if you prefer that one. Kitchen fitter sounds good too, so whichever one you want and ignore the comment.

To be honest it sounds like you don’t actually know what you want to do for work so you are probably wise to give it a bit more thought before spending anyone’s money on a course.

I am big and strong … for a woman. Unless you are exceptionally fit and strong, don’t be a kitchen fitter.

I think you need to go back to the first course and ask him to pay for it. I know you say you’re Not-an-Asker, but the future version of you won’t thank you for making her be a Do-Withouter.

If you are up for that type of work… my recommendation would electrician.

Definitely over sensitive, he’s said he’ll pay for the course but you haven’t done anything about it? Perhaps he thinks that the kitchen fitting will be the same, decide which one you want to do and get on with it.

Do it. He's offered to pay, and you can ignore the smirking.
Also - you'll be an asset to companies because many women would prefer a woman working in their house.

Sounds lile your partner has tjis tjing it called a sense of humour i would not worry it not contagious

Why is he trying yo make you insecure?

My 80-year old dad had a (tiny) 19-year old girl paint his ceiling and walls a few years ago. She was working for a company which also did gardening etc. When he needed his hedges done he phoned the company to tell them to send the same girl as she was so quick and did such a great job. They did, and she is still there a couple of times a year, years later. No idea why I am writing this, my dad is very ill and only has weeks left so he hires her to tidy everything up in the garden etc. He’d never smirk at a woman who was working hard.

Honestly kitchen fitting is a male dominated trade. Jokes on site are like this and far worse, most blokes in building trades constantly take the piss out of each other so you really need to toughen up and learn to give as good as you get if you want to work in that industry.

L

The only advice I'd give is that kitchen fitting is a skill - you'll be better taking a carpentry/joinery apprenticeship to learn if that's what you really want to do.

It's heavy work and a real skill.

You can buy a cheap kitchen and have it fitted well and looks fab or buy an expensive kitchen and have it poorly fitted and looks awful.

People seriously underestimate the skill.

Worktop fitting especially.

Also toughen up - construction is FULL of banter a pee taking.

Your partner sounds supportive though - maybe a little less talking and a bit more action on your part though?

I think you're being a bit sensitive thh.

He offered to pay for a course. But now you don't want to ask him about it.

Yes, he made a couple of mildly sexist jokes, but you've now let that put you off too. Others have explained you'd face far worse than that.

Just decide what you want to do and do it. If he's said he'll pay for a course, let him. But he's probably waiting for you to apply and give him the details. He's not going to do it for you or hold your hand throughout because you're an adult.

You say you want to work and be successful but you're currently letting the slightest thing derail you.

Unfortunately I really don't think a single course is going to be enough to qualify you to fit kitchens from scratch. It sounds like you are aiming rather low TBH. I'd suggest putting some real thought into what you want to do for a career going forward, and investing in high quality proper retraining. That will likely involve a lot more than a single course, whatever you choose.

I work in legal for large department store that sells kitchens to customers. Good kitchen fitters are in big demand! If it interests you go for it as there is lots of work out there!

Do the course.🌷

No. She's trying to better herself and he's sneering at her and making out her fitting kitchens will embarrass him with his friends.

I done a bit more searching and looked at a course too do kitchen fitting as it’s more affordable and I’d just love to be able to learn how to fit kitchens and bathrooms etc

Tbh, it sounds more like someone who is flitting about from idea to idea without any concrete plan in place.

I'd be wary of trusting any kitchen fitting course that was 'more affordable' than £1300!

It sounds to me like he just isn't taking her current 'plans' (ie flights of fancy) very seriously. I don't think I would either in his shoes.

The thing is we have no idea whether she will actually be capable of doing the work. I'm physically strong and fit (I work with horses) but my partner is a builder and his level of strength is far more than mine and I would find what he does in a day hard. That isn't to say she can't do the job but if she is the sort of woman that struggles to do any DIY round the house she will find it extremely difficult. It also sounds like she is flitting between ideas that he is going to have to fund. She cannot be this precious on site.

Well if the partner had given that practical response instead of laughing at her I'm not sure OP would have even made a thread, let's face it.