Not attracted

[danglecartot]

So my OH drops the bombshell whilst I'm talking about perimenopause symptoms that he no longer finds me attractive due to weight gain.

I am absolutely heartbroken and am now feeling more pressure to lose weight that just won't shift.

Our relationship has been toxic for a while and this feels like the last straw.

Just looking for a handhold and some strength to tell the nasty piece of work to shove it all.

Good grief. It's not often I'm left agog. But the menopause is all about him and not you? Who knew?!! And periods too?

it sounds like neither of you like one another let alone love one another

The conversation went with him telling me that I need to understand that the menopause is not about me, but about how it affects him

This has to be the most laughable load of shit I've read on here. I don't know that I could take anything he says seriously after this drivel 🤨😔. Idiot!

So it's massively blown up this pm on the phone. My head is all over the place at the moment. Looks like this is possibly the end of the road. Part angry, part heartbroken and abs terrified of being alone.

Oh shame for the menz! I got told on the depths of PND that it was worse for my ex of course it was. What with the not giving birth to cause it, and the not bleeding constantly, and the not getting up in the night every single night.

I'd tell him you are done. Then he doesn't need for it to affect him. What a weak man.

Take a deep breath and think that soon you will be able to start living a happy life, a different one but a happy one. One where you can be proud of who you are and how you look with no one to put you down.
Take that anger and focus on getting the best deal to move forward on. Make sure you don't let him wriggle out of owning it.
Don't be afraid, the future is different and unknown and that is scary. But be excited too, as you own your future now x

The conversation went with him telling me that I need to understand that the menopause is not about me, but about how it affects him,

This alone would be enough for me to laugh in his face and slam the door on his departing arse. How dare he! So self obsessed! What a cock!

The only way to try and fend off weight gain during menopause I've found, is to exercise through it. Join a gym - weather's too shit in the UK to maintain enthusiasm. It's good for MH and does help to keep energy levels up.
How's his weight over the years, is he the same size as when you met? I bet he's not.
Fear of being alone is a bad reason to stay. Time to consider how to share the assets so you can live.

I'd much rather be alone than have to put up with such a selfish, ill informed bell end! How can you bear to even look at him when he utters such drivel?
If you can be bothered to educate him on the changes a woman experiences during menopause then do so but if l were you l'd rather boot him out and concentrate on yourself.
Hopefully the hrt will soon help you to feel much better and ready for a new and happier life without such a nasty, self centered idiot.

Oh OP I’m really sorry. I get that the fear of being alone is immense, especially when you are going through a tough time yourself healthwise. But the way I see it, you are already alone. You are dealing with perimenopause with zero support. I hope you find the strength to leave this selfish man xx

My god, get him gone. I know you're worried about being alone, but honestly you will probably find yourself far happier than you are constantly dealing with this shit.

Your period is a situation that hinders his sex life, and your menopause is a great burden for him? Release him back into the wild, wish him luck, he will need it.

If he doesn't accept you at your Susan Boyle he doesn't deserve you at your Marilyn monroe

Classic line during a convo tonight. "I see other women in the gym all the time who are menopausal and they're not like you".

Ouchhhhh. Nah. What an ASSHOLE. Good bye

My jaw just dropped.
OP, it’s scary BUT I think staying with him sounds scarier.

Also how would he know? Does he walk round with a clipboard and interrogate all the middle aged women he sees at the gym?

I could keep up a running commentary on shitty things said today

"I love you but there are things I no longer like about you"

Do you have children? Just wondering how he was in pregnancy if you did.

OMG when I was telling him I had enough of him saying I was not good enough earlier today, he was recording me. He's just sent it to me.

Wow. Well, I think if I were you I’d be saying ‘this is a life-changing conversation. You’ll have to give me some space while I consider my next steps.’

What for?
Sounds to me a bit like he is starting ‘the script’.

Forgetting him for now, it doesn’t sound like the HRT regime is suiting you if you’re still having flushes and have large weight gain. I would go back to GP.

If the weight gain bothers you, mention to GP and start tackling it with small changes. Longer walks. Replace a biscuit with an apple that kind of easy change. Find an exercise class you like etc. Join SW maybe for company in losing weight. I need to do this myself - also gaining in menopause. Sigh.

Go and see a solicitor to find out what financials could look like if you separate/ divorce. If he is starting the script, you need to play catch up and get organised.

💐

Is this ragebait?

I’m with @Catoo. Sounds a bit scripty to me - I’m sorry.

Also agreeing this is the script.
Wait for the mentionitis to start - likely one of the menopausal women at the gym that's not like you.
It's bullshit OP and you deserve better x

so.......you just lost at least 10stone?
AND maybe your body is trying to repel him cos hes suppose to love YOU
get that tae fuck doll.
adonis is on the market ladies,form an orderly que.
wanker