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Original poster

Is this wierd or am I being over sensitive?

30 replies

Laylastarsea · 22/09/2024 23:10

Hi all ,

I'm not sure if I'm being over sensitive here but I'm trying to go with my gut on this.
I've been seeing a man for about 6 months hes a slow burner which has actually suited me well with me wanting a change in seeing my usual type of man who is love bombing then turns out to be a player etc

So I've noticed something he does and he did it today so I want to know is this game playing or am I overthinking it.

So on friday he msg me to say theres a Halloween party would I like to go with him and sent me the link , its fancy dress will be a fun night , I said yeh looks good however I have my son that night I'll see if my mum will watch him. He said that will be great.
I said I'll let him know.
He then sent another msg saying oh yeh forgot to mention it's my birthday in two weeks it would be really nice to do something together if you fancy it? I again said yeh that sounds good, I can make that evening as my son is with his dad.

Fast forward to this evening... I sent him a msg that said : hey my sister will have my son so we can go to that party at halloween xx

His reply...

Oh that's very organised of you 😂😂😂 its 6 weeks away yet!
If you cant make my birthday dont worry bout it xx

I then msg back:
yes I can still see you on your birthday as my son is with his dad, I was with my sister today so mentioned the halloween party and she offered to babysit xx

His reply...
Well ok why not 😂 if you can make my birthday maybe we could do something together x

So after those msgs I was like huh ?? To myself not to him.
Like huh? Is he nuts or something?? Didnt he ask me out twice and then I respond with sitter etc and he is now acting like I'm being over organised or something??
It's like hes acting as if I've asked him out?!
Hes done this kind of thing b4 in msgs and it's like he has memory loss or something?
I even re read the msgs he sent me on Friday as I thought I was going nuts but it is literally like two different people have msg me.
Please tell me it's me and I'm not now involved with another game player 🤨

OP posts:
thelastkingdom · 22/09/2024 23:13

mmmh sounds dodgy to me - wonder if he is messaging others and weighing up his options.

Original poster
Laylastarsea · 22/09/2024 23:15

thelastkingdom · 22/09/2024 23:13

mmmh sounds dodgy to me - wonder if he is messaging others and weighing up his options.

The thing is that has crossed my mind however it is a party his family will attend and his family know I'm his girlfriend so I cant imagine hes going to take someone else. The birthday could be different though?

OP posts:
Neveranynamesleft · 22/09/2024 23:16

He certainly isnt going to let you forget it's his birthday that's for sure....he'll be dropping hints about his present next...

Original poster
Laylastarsea · 22/09/2024 23:17

Neveranynamesleft · 22/09/2024 23:16

He certainly isnt going to let you forget it's his birthday that's for sure....he'll be dropping hints about his present next...

Edited

🤣 I did think this !

OP posts:
Shallana · 22/09/2024 23:51

To me this reads as though he was floating the idea of the Halloween party but wasn't that fussed/hadn't made up his mind to go. I'm assuming he doesn't have children of his own? If not, it may just be that he doesn't like to make decisions until nearer the time and but hasn't stopped to consider that it's not possible for you to be spontaneous.

On the other hand he wants to make concrete plans for his birthday as this is closer and more important than the halloween party, and he's worried you're priorising the wrong event.

Rerrin · 22/09/2024 23:57

Shallana · 22/09/2024 23:51

To me this reads as though he was floating the idea of the Halloween party but wasn't that fussed/hadn't made up his mind to go. I'm assuming he doesn't have children of his own? If not, it may just be that he doesn't like to make decisions until nearer the time and but hasn't stopped to consider that it's not possible for you to be spontaneous.

On the other hand he wants to make concrete plans for his birthday as this is closer and more important than the halloween party, and he's worried you're priorising the wrong event.

Yes, or he assumes you’re flagging up the party because you can make it but thinks you haven’t mentioned the birthday now because you can’t — and yes, I assume he has no understanding of how much scheduling you need to do well in advance when you’re sharing residency of a child with an ex.

Loloblue · 23/09/2024 00:00

He's sounds a bit immature and like he's trying to play cool all of a sudden. Turn off!

forevernumb · 23/09/2024 00:13

Honestly I think you are overthinking it. He's wanting to see you 🤷‍♀️

smallsilvercloud · 23/09/2024 00:15

I guess he doesn't have children himself? Hence the comment about being organised in advance. Other than that, he is prioritising you by inviting you, he's double checking you can be with him on his birthday so I would just see how it goes.

Razorrain · 23/09/2024 00:18

Sounds like he’s just not that into you

also, never fall for someone that uses that many emojis to cover what they mean

mumda · 23/09/2024 00:23

Does he want you to offer to take him out.

Tbh he sounds like hard work.

FictionalCharacter · 23/09/2024 00:26

It's definitely strange. He asked you if you wanted to go out, then when you said yes he acted like it was a new idea. Either he's just terrible at remembering things or playing some weird game to unsettle you.

pizzaHeart · 23/09/2024 00:29

I agree that if he doesn’t have children (and even if he does but he is not their main caregiver ) he won’t understand how organised you should be.Plus he might be not super organised in general, you know the type who mentions a lot of things and follows up very few of them .

Aquamarine1029 · 23/09/2024 00:40

I would be talking to him directly about it, but then I don't hesitate to confront issues to get things out in the open. I would tell him what you've told us, in person preferably, and see what his reaction is.

You are totally justified in being confused about his responses to you. They really don't gel with what he said before.

Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 06:46

Hi thanks for your replies, yes he has children but they are both grown up now.
I will speak to him face to face however I dont see him until the weekend and just get some opinions

OP posts:
Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 06:47

Aquamarine1029 · 23/09/2024 00:40

I would be talking to him directly about it, but then I don't hesitate to confront issues to get things out in the open. I would tell him what you've told us, in person preferably, and see what his reaction is.

You are totally justified in being confused about his responses to you. They really don't gel with what he said before.

Thank you they dont gel do they? Confusing

OP posts:
Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 06:48

FictionalCharacter · 23/09/2024 00:26

It's definitely strange. He asked you if you wanted to go out, then when you said yes he acted like it was a new idea. Either he's just terrible at remembering things or playing some weird game to unsettle you.

Thanks , I'm a bit worried it may be a bit if a game or trying to play it cool? Which is all a bit ridiculous at our age tbh. Hes done this sort of thing b4 in msgs

OP posts:
Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 06:49

mumda · 23/09/2024 00:23

Does he want you to offer to take him out.

Tbh he sounds like hard work.

Yes maybe? This could be it

OP posts:
Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 06:51

Shallana · 22/09/2024 23:51

To me this reads as though he was floating the idea of the Halloween party but wasn't that fussed/hadn't made up his mind to go. I'm assuming he doesn't have children of his own? If not, it may just be that he doesn't like to make decisions until nearer the time and but hasn't stopped to consider that it's not possible for you to be spontaneous.

On the other hand he wants to make concrete plans for his birthday as this is closer and more important than the halloween party, and he's worried you're priorising the wrong event.

I get this and I can understand him waating to prioritise his birthday night, however if that was so important to him, he could surely just mention his birthday when he msg me on friday and mention the Halloween party at another time ? I think that's what's thrown me a little

OP posts:
Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 06:53

Loloblue · 23/09/2024 00:00

He's sounds a bit immature and like he's trying to play cool all of a sudden. Turn off!

I know it does seem like the playing it cool thing and yep it is also turning me off...

OP posts:
User364837 · 23/09/2024 06:53

It sounds weird.
whats his memory like generally, and stress? Does he ever get socially anxious? Is he a drinker?

could he have had a couple of beers when he asked you about the Halloween party? Or forgotten he messaged? Over messages things are sometimes weird.

ive had slightly similar with my bf of a year. We’ve talked about things and in my mind we’ve made an arrangement and then later it turns out he’s totally forgotten. He can be absent minded and he’s also bereaved and a single parent (which happened suddenly and in quite a traumatic way) so sometimes I wonder if that has affected his memory. Earlier on I interpreted it as he wasn’t that in to me but now we’ve talked about it and I know him better I just know we need to put arrangements in the diary and I need to remind him about stuff.

Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 06:56

User364837 · 23/09/2024 06:53

It sounds weird.
whats his memory like generally, and stress? Does he ever get socially anxious? Is he a drinker?

could he have had a couple of beers when he asked you about the Halloween party? Or forgotten he messaged? Over messages things are sometimes weird.

ive had slightly similar with my bf of a year. We’ve talked about things and in my mind we’ve made an arrangement and then later it turns out he’s totally forgotten. He can be absent minded and he’s also bereaved and a single parent (which happened suddenly and in quite a traumatic way) so sometimes I wonder if that has affected his memory. Earlier on I interpreted it as he wasn’t that in to me but now we’ve talked about it and I know him better I just know we need to put arrangements in the diary and I need to remind him about stuff.

Hi , thanks for your reply, yes he does get a bit anxious actually and he drinks but not a huge drinker , he could of had a few beers felt jolly , invited me now regrets it? Who knows ? His memory seems ok to me

OP posts:
Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 06:58

forevernumb · 23/09/2024 00:13

Honestly I think you are overthinking it. He's wanting to see you 🤷‍♀️

Well it agree until he then kind of back tracks in msgs a few days later

OP posts:
Original poster
Laylastarsea · 23/09/2024 07:00

Razorrain · 23/09/2024 00:18

Sounds like he’s just not that into you

also, never fall for someone that uses that many emojis to cover what they mean

interesting point about the emojis

OP posts:
Holidayhell22 · 23/09/2024 07:01

A couple of things.
I am shocked that he has children. I’m guessing he left most of the parenting to his ex, hence his lack of awareness about much organisation is involved.
Does he drink a lot? Was he drunk when he sent the first messages?
It does sound very strange.
He asks you out. You agree, then he makes it sound as though he knows nothing about it.
Hmmmm he sounds too much like hard work to me.
The fact he has children yet seems blissfully unaware about the need for babysitters before you can go out and leave them is a red flag.
I’d hazard a guess that he was never going to make parent of the year.
Proceed with caution.

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