Is this wierd or am I being over sensitive?

[Laylastarsea]

Hi all ,

I'm not sure if I'm being over sensitive here but I'm trying to go with my gut on this.
I've been seeing a man for about 6 months hes a slow burner which has actually suited me well with me wanting a change in seeing my usual type of man who is love bombing then turns out to be a player etc

So I've noticed something he does and he did it today so I want to know is this game playing or am I overthinking it.

So on friday he msg me to say theres a Halloween party would I like to go with him and sent me the link , its fancy dress will be a fun night , I said yeh looks good however I have my son that night I'll see if my mum will watch him. He said that will be great.
I said I'll let him know.
He then sent another msg saying oh yeh forgot to mention it's my birthday in two weeks it would be really nice to do something together if you fancy it? I again said yeh that sounds good, I can make that evening as my son is with his dad.

Fast forward to this evening... I sent him a msg that said : hey my sister will have my son so we can go to that party at halloween xx

His reply...

Oh that's very organised of you 😂😂😂 its 6 weeks away yet!
If you cant make my birthday dont worry bout it xx

I then msg back:
yes I can still see you on your birthday as my son is with his dad, I was with my sister today so mentioned the halloween party and she offered to babysit xx

His reply...
Well ok why not 😂 if you can make my birthday maybe we could do something together x

So after those msgs I was like huh ?? To myself not to him.
Like huh? Is he nuts or something?? Didnt he ask me out twice and then I respond with sitter etc and he is now acting like I'm being over organised or something??
It's like hes acting as if I've asked him out?!
Hes done this kind of thing b4 in msgs and it's like he has memory loss or something?
I even re read the msgs he sent me on Friday as I thought I was going nuts but it is literally like two different people have msg me.
Please tell me it's me and I'm not now involved with another game player 🤨

@Laylastarsea, I agree that the change is bizarre. He initiates the chat about nailing down the dates, but when you get back to him with positive feedback, he nonchalantly responds like it’s all your idea and ‘maybe we can do something’ on his birthday. What on earth??

I would expect him to explain the Twilight Zone shift. You say he’s pulled this before, so I would reconsider things and move on.

He’s excited about his birthday and wondering if you care enough to suggest plans for it, or maybe even plan something for you both to do? You prioritised the wrong event, he’s wondering if he’s got the wrong end of the stick and doesn’t want to force you into caring about his birthday so he’s unsuccessfully attempting to play it cool, that’s what I read into it, I don’t see anything shady about it

When someone suggests going out and later acts as if going out is new idea, that isn't normal "playing it cool" (which would be immature at his age anyway). Whether he has bizarre memory lapses or is toying with you, I'd find this very off-putting and would not want a relationship with him. Life's too short to be on a relationship with someone who is hard work. You never know how much worse they'll get a few years down the line when the honeymoon period has worn off.

The birthday thing, both times he said “we can do something together” which sounds (to me) like he wants YOU to plan it.
the Halloween thing, it just sounds like it’s far enough away that it’s not the first priority.

maybe adding details about sitters/ who will have kids is just muddying the communication waters here? Idk …

but mainly: it sounds like he’s being passive and wanting you to plan

Has he got children? I'm guessing not and so maybe doesn't realise that you need to make childcare arrangements well in advance...