Had enough of life

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi all,

I'm struggling at the moment. Im a solo mum to a beautiful little girl, she 9. My DD's father left when I was pregnant, so I have been bringing her up alone. I'm really resilient and battled through, bought our own house and renovated it. We have a good life. But working full time and being a full time parent is hard.

I've been made redundant through Covid and this week I've been made redundant again. My client isn't renewing their contract with my company.

The settlement isn't too bad and should cover me for around 5 months. But I'm just so tired of life and what it throws at me.

I'm continually having to pick myself up and put one foot in front of the other.

I have wonderful family and super supportive friends. They are always there for me. But ultimately the responsibility falls in my hands to provide the life we have.

I didn't like my job so I wanted to leave, but I wanted to leave on my terms.

I only found out about the redundancy this week, and I've found this weekend tough. I'm not really present for my DD, and I feel so very sad for her. I'm feeling so low that I barely say anything.

No ones life is perfect, but I look at my friends and they haven't had anyway near the rubbish thrown at them that I have.

Coupled with my dad's ill health it's all taking its tole.

I've been trying to work out how to get out of this cycle of sh*t. I've contemplated moving to somewhere more remote where I can live mortgage free. But then I wouldn't know anyone.

I've always been had a positive mental attitude towards situations, but I can honestly say I've had enough. Literally I cannot go on anymore. There's a point where you have to realise that life is always going to be a pile of crap why go on. I've just reached a point where I can't keep picking myself up anymore. I have no more fight left in me.

😟

I'm so sorry about everything you've been through.

You definitely sound very resilient and are surely a true inspiration for your daughter ❤️

I am a lot older than you and have in the past reached a point where I felt like this and could see no way of progressing. But I did ... life opened up unexpected opportunities ... hang on in there.... you do not know what is around the corner x

I just feel like crying all the time but I'm trying stay strong for my DD.

It's awful, 😢

I've not told her what's going on as I want protect her, but I'm wondering if I should tell her what's happened with my job.

OP you have an incredible job to get where you are. Don’t underestimate that! You are setting a brilliant example for your daughter to follow.

I can understand being let go would sting, even if you wanted to leave. But please try to reframe your thinking around this. You have time over the next few months now to go and find something you really want to do. Life really is a tough long slog, you will get through this. Try not to compare yourself to others, comparison is truly the thief of joy.

Think of the advice you would offer a friend in this situation, and take it yourself.

Good luck 😊

You sound overwhelmed and depressed. Can you see your GP? Can you find a therapist?

I'm overwhelmed and feeling sad, I'm not depressed. I've just had enough of all the knocks I've had.

I actually ended up telling my DD about my job, I needed to explain why I wasn't myself. But I reassured her that everything would be fine. I think the poor thing was feeling anxious because I wasn't being my normal self.

I guess kids have to know that life isn't always easy. I feel better now that she knows and I don't have to hide it.

Oh OP, that's so sad to hear. Just remember how far you have come, and the life that you have single handedly built for you and your daughter. You truly are amazing even if you feel like utter crap right now. Things will fall into place for you. Take a break to rest and reset before looking for your next job. Hug your little girl tightly, you're her world, so you're not allowed to go anywhere. Much love and luck.

That's what everyone keeps saying, things will work out. Everything happens for a reason etc etc. it's the usual stuff people say. But honestly I don't get how I'm just so unlucky. Some people pretty much sail through life, I'm not one of those people. And there is only so much a person can take.

You pick yourself up and dusk yourself so many times. Trying to put on a brave face, but there is a point you have no more fight left. It's just pure exhaustion.

Something always happen the very last minute, so we go on. Trust God

Is there any way to be closer to family, share meals, go out for day trips so you build more positivity in life? Even if you have to move

My husband recently ended his savings due to cost of living and I went to work and take any NMW. We are not the richest but I am so so happy having my faith in God

I live 5 minutes from family, they are incredibly supportive. But I also don't want to constantly burden them with my own problems. They have their own stuff going on x

I do believe that bad luck often turns into good luck. It can take you in an unexpected direction that turns out for the best. Let’s face it. You wanted to leave your job, so you’ve got what you wanted, but with a redundancy cash payout you wouldn’t have had if you’d just left. Bonus! Life has thrown you a helping hand and you don’t even see it. Your daughter’s DF could have made your life a misery if he’d stayed. Maybe you are lucky he left when he did. You might actually be a very lucky person. Depends on how you look at it. You have the support of family and friends. You have your health and a beautiful loving daughter. Maybe you are lucky after all. Don’t want to minimise how you are feeling and that life can be tough but don’t give up you are doing just grand.

I really hope so 😢

Oh my goodness @Cherryblossom200 I’m really in admiration for what you've achieved as a single mum. I’m not just saying it, but parenthood is tough enough, single parenthood is another level and you’ve done so very well. Now, give yourself a few days to process your recent bad news. Be kind to yourself and be sure to do something nice and have a little treat with your daughter tomorrow.

Life can be hard, as you well know, but you’ve been through and got over an awful lot. I really think you are made of tough stuff and that will stand to you. You can get through this x

Families do not always want to be protected from our troubles and may want to be given the opportunity to help you.

In the past I have rung the Samaritans - not because I was suicidal, but because I could see no way forward. They were hugely supportive.

You sound such a wonderful Mum to your little girl. You have had another knock this week with the loss of your job, but life also deals the good too. Hang in there, it will happen when you are least expecting it. Try and stay positive and you will be rewarded with positive. Could you and your daughter go away for a few days for a change of scenery?

I hear you OP. Like you I'm a survivor. I've had so much crap in my life (also a lone parent) and it does wear you down.

Your DD will keep you going, even in the worst of times you'll keep going, just as I did and many other parents too.

You are passing your resilience on to your DD, at least be proud of that.

Unfortunately life is unfair but sometimes it works in your favour.

Look after your DD. Things will work out😊

I completely understand how you are feeling. As a single parent there is no let up, no support and when things get harder than normal these things become magnified.
I cry often about how hard it is and don't share it.
I'm glad you have support. Hopefully this curve ball might set you on a different path. Keep on going, you are doing a great job.

Sorry I'm not able to offer solutions OP but just wanted you to know you're not alone in feeling like this. Life is repeatedly kicking the shit out of me atm too, it seems to be coming from all angles and just when I think things can't get worse they do. It's not minor stuff either, it's great big, life changing stuff (and not for the better) and I genuinely don't know how much more I can take. I have days where I feel like I can't go on, days where I feel like maybe I can for a bit longer if only things will start to pick up and lots more days inbetween where I don't have the energy to do more than put one foot in front of the other and hope to god it gets easier. I can't promise it will for either of us but the law of averages suggests we will hit a more positive stretch at some point if we can just hang on so all we can do is hope we make it! Feel free to PM if comparing shit-notes would help, being miserable alone is the worst

You have survived everything up until this point. You will survive this too... Keep going, you've got this ♥️

This exactly! This is how I live my life and teach my kids to live.I had awful
things happen to me that made me go on a different path and I ended up somewhere good. Cherryblossom take a week to yourself. You have the money from redundancy and pick yourself up and keep going. You sound like one strong person. (But I do get you that some people seem to get it easy)

Do you have somewhere you can just rant and cry at the universe? Samaritans? Work counselling? I have had a lot to deal with in life and when it all gets too much, I've cried down the phone a couple of times to a person on the work therapy line. Once I've got it all out I feel better and can carry on. I'm also a lone parent and it is the hardest thing, even with family support, because you take all the decisions alone and you don't want to burden your family, even though they are there for you.

Hey, thanks everyone I spoke to my work support line last night just so I could have a good cry.

I'm still technically employed until the end of the month so I'm going to take that week off and do nothing but work watch tv, walks and see friend and family. I just down time. I don't actually get time to relax often.

In general I like my life when it's going well, it's just work which I struggle with and there is no such thing as a job for life.! hate starting a new job and the uncertainty that come with it. Plus I work from home full time and I'm on a good salary so I'm worried I won't find the same thing again.

Are you kidding? This is a cycle of shit??? You own your own home you've been able to renovate. You have a beautiful healthy daughter. You have a career which you've been able to continue while being a single mum and you've been given a settlement to leave a job you weren't enjoying in any event??? You have amazing supportive friends and family.

This is not a cycle of shit. Nothing has been thrown at you.

I mean I've heard of a humble brag but read through some of the posts on this site. Fucking hell... You are living the dream.

Yep I've got to this place in life because I've worked ridiculously hard to get here on my own. I recognise I'm lucky but that because I've worked at it.

I was feeling awful yesterday because I know the uphill struggle I've got ahead of me and I guess I'm just tired of it. I want an easy life where I enjoy my job, have money to do nice things with and just be happy. But it seems as soon as I get comfortable. I end up in the same situation.

I have a father with Alzheimer's and that's really hard as well.