Hi all, long term user but nc for this post as could be identifying alongside other stuff.
Just wanted some perspectives as this place has helped me immeasurably so many times in the past.
I've been separated from xh for 2.5 years, divorce was finalised a year ago. A long deterioration prior to this, and I think emotionally I was gradually detaching a few years before it eventually came to a head. Xh had drink and drug issues, very erratic and unpredictable/at times abusive behaviour and I lived with a lot of anxiety when we were together. We have one ds together, aged 13 who is with me 90% of the time post split (xh's choice).
About a year ago a situation started with someone I have known for about 6/7 years in a work capacity. We don't work alongside one another day to day but our paths cross professionally from time to time. We were at a work event and at the end of the evening it was just the two of us left, some deeper conversations etc and after a few drinks and he kissed me. The following day he messaged asking me out and I thought why not and from day 1 have hit it off. He is intelligent, kind, emotionally aware, genuine, consistent, respectful, everything . He is also very attractive physically. He has honestly blown my mind, I never expected another relationship nor did I think anyone would be worth it. But I'm quite besotted.
Now for the issue - he is 29 years old and I am 41. Am I kidding myself there could be a future in this ? Maybe relevant, don't know but I'm often taken for younger than my age, my heritage is Thai and im very petite/short if that makes a difference! He is tall, lovely and going grey so I don't feel he is immature or anything. In terms of his character, which is obviously the most important factor he is much more mature than my almost 50 yo xh. And treats me in a way I never thought possible.
My worry is around children - he says he would rather be with the right person than have children and he understands that I don't want any more. He is perfect for me apart from our age difference.
Any thoughts or similar experiences would be helpful, thank you