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Original poster

Porn

46 replies

Bd222 · 09/09/2024 20:22

I found that my partner has been watching porn and came girls on the way to work, when I'm in bed and also when I have left for work and looking after our son.
I'm currently pregnant and we have a 1 year old. I have tried having sex with him or tried spicing it up but sometimes he tells me he doesn't want sex.
I have even dropped it in a conversation about how disrespectful men watching cam girls are and that I would be really hurt if he done that to me. Yet he blatantly lied and said well I don't pha.
I don't know weather to tell him I have been through his phone and seen it or Bide my time and then do it. I feel so upset set, unworthy and unattractive. I feel so distant from him

OP posts:
Uptheflagpole · 09/09/2024 20:26

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LondonFox · 09/09/2024 20:31

Give baby to him to feed, sit on a living room sofa and loudly watch porn.
He will either join you and you can spice up your sex life together or he will act all surprised and you can call him two faced idiot.

Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 21:03

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In his van driving 😞

OP posts:
Neverstophoping · 09/09/2024 21:03

If he is watching porn on the way to work and when he is looking after your son then he has a porn addiction. I think that if he is watching it whilst watching your son it is actually child abuse because he is risking exposing your child to sexual activity.
I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who watches porn. Watching cam girls adds an extra dimension to it and he is effectively cheating on you with them.
In your position I would be looking to leave this relationship. It's not you that is unworthy. It's him.

Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 21:04

LondonFox · 09/09/2024 20:31

Give baby to him to feed, sit on a living room sofa and loudly watch porn.
He will either join you and you can spice up your sex life together or he will act all surprised and you can call him two faced idiot.

Lol could try this

OP posts:
Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 21:06

Neverstophoping · 09/09/2024 21:03

If he is watching porn on the way to work and when he is looking after your son then he has a porn addiction. I think that if he is watching it whilst watching your son it is actually child abuse because he is risking exposing your child to sexual activity.
I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who watches porn. Watching cam girls adds an extra dimension to it and he is effectively cheating on you with them.
In your position I would be looking to leave this relationship. It's not you that is unworthy. It's him.

I know I couldn't believe it that I saw he was on chaturbate at half 6 this morning when I left for work. I got up and got baby ready for nursery, he was awake and he is not very well either. Makes feel sick. I really wanna out him but dont want to cause a argument

OP posts:
Uptheflagpole · 09/09/2024 21:12

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Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 21:13

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Yea most definitely

OP posts:
Neverstophoping · 09/09/2024 21:14

You might not want to cause an argument but you need to protect your son. It's actually abhorrent that he is being exposed to pornography.

Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 21:15

Neverstophoping · 09/09/2024 21:14

You might not want to cause an argument but you need to protect your son. It's actually abhorrent that he is being exposed to pornography.

How would I bring it up, as I was going through his phone

OP posts:
Neverstophoping · 09/09/2024 21:20

You know what you saw. This is a serious issue for the welfare of your son so why don't you just tell him that you know that this is what he is doing? If he is angry you looked at his phone so be it. Your son's welfare is what is most important.

Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 21:21

Neverstophoping · 09/09/2024 21:20

You know what you saw. This is a serious issue for the welfare of your son so why don't you just tell him that you know that this is what he is doing? If he is angry you looked at his phone so be it. Your son's welfare is what is most important.

True 😢

OP posts:
Seas164 · 09/09/2024 21:25

Don't say anything until you've got your stuff in order, put yourself and your DC first. You don't need to have it out with him or even necessarily hear what he's got to say about what you have seen. It will likely be nonsense so save your energy and your brain space and do what you need to do, you don't need his permission.

Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 21:29

Seas164 · 09/09/2024 21:25

Don't say anything until you've got your stuff in order, put yourself and your DC first. You don't need to have it out with him or even necessarily hear what he's got to say about what you have seen. It will likely be nonsense so save your energy and your brain space and do what you need to do, you don't need his permission.

That's true he will just turn it round to me or something. Just going to put myself, baby bump first from now on. I always hold back and make sure I'm home for when he is home from work. I rush around making sure the place is tidy for him I really don't have the energy to cause extra drama. I just want to be happy.
Why are men like this lol

OP posts:
TroubleMakingWitch · 09/09/2024 21:36

Is chaturbate one that you pay for? And directly message/talk to the women? This is definitely crossing a line.

I'm not keen on porn at all (for many reasons) but would find that more forgivable than cam girls and direct messaging etc.

It's quite concerning he has to watch this whilst in his van. Sounds like a compulsion.

Sorry OP :(

Seas164 · 09/09/2024 21:47

I think if you're able to frame it that the information you've found out has made him completely unattractive to you, and therefore not someone you want to be in a relationship and raise children with, rather than why are men like this, he's misbehaved and ruined everything you will feel more in control.

You've seen what you've seen, you're allowed to feel how you feel about it, and take the action you feel is appropriate, regardless of his, or anyone elses take on the situation.

Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 22:24

TroubleMakingWitch · 09/09/2024 21:36

Is chaturbate one that you pay for? And directly message/talk to the women? This is definitely crossing a line.

I'm not keen on porn at all (for many reasons) but would find that more forgivable than cam girls and direct messaging etc.

It's quite concerning he has to watch this whilst in his van. Sounds like a compulsion.

Sorry OP :(

You can watch for free as well as pay. But can still talk for free.
I know I just don't get it, I feel like I don't know him

OP posts:
Original poster
Bd222 · 09/09/2024 22:26

Seas164 · 09/09/2024 21:47

I think if you're able to frame it that the information you've found out has made him completely unattractive to you, and therefore not someone you want to be in a relationship and raise children with, rather than why are men like this, he's misbehaved and ruined everything you will feel more in control.

You've seen what you've seen, you're allowed to feel how you feel about it, and take the action you feel is appropriate, regardless of his, or anyone elses take on the situation.

Thank you, really hope this all sorts it self out. I know I can be very quick to jump and shout and that's when things go wrong. I'm going to what till the time is right

OP posts:
WandsOut · 09/09/2024 23:20

He's porn addicted - there's no point trying to play the game, it's demoralising and he's obviously a sex addict who is cheating on you with actual conversations with prostitutes.

It's not what you deserve, you deserve to be taken care of and to have a peaceful life, he's not going to give you that.

Are you financially dependent on him?

It's also not a reflection on you. Men who do this do it because they are sick in the head and disgusting in their tiny depraved brains - they don't see women as human. You don't need to compete with women who have to sell their bodies for sex for a fleeting moment in their lives. Most of these women are having a shit time with men too, after all, they see what men are really like under the ordinary guy veneer.

It's not about you, there's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing you could do or be that has made him a pervert like this. He's wired to be a slave to porn and he's sick.
Don't let him make you sick too.

WandsOut · 09/09/2024 23:23

Also don't let anyone tell you that you should be ok with it. Usually when a woman says she hates her partner using porn a bunch of people will shame her for hating it. Fuck that.
Cam girls will lead to strip bars and then actual prostitutes.

Get out.

Mirabai · 10/09/2024 00:07

Porn watching van driver, isn’t he just every girl’s dream.

Uptheflagpole · 10/09/2024 00:11

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FunWithFlagz · 10/09/2024 00:31

I’ve just ended my marriage of 18 years due to discovering my husband’s porn addiction. I had an inkling when our eldest was a tiny baby but he brushed it off and said he’d stop. Well, he didn’t. I’ve put up with a shit sex life and erectile disfunction for years, thinking it was me, but it’s a classic sign of a porn addiction. He was using cam girls, interacting with them, wanking in the toilet when I was in the next room. All proper gross.

Anyway, it’s all out now, and he’s having specialist therapy but it’s too late for us. I can’t forgive me living feeling like he just wasn’t that into sex when he was actually frantically masterbating 3 meters away.

My advice is to confront it head on, now. Either he gets help for his problem or leave him. It’s a serious issue and it won’t go away on its own. Save yourself many years of feeling unattractive and let down!

Sorry you’re going through this. I know how devastating it is.

Italiangreyhound · 10/09/2024 00:34

I'm so sorry. All men are not like this. It sounds like he has a real problem. He has de-sensitized himself that he can drive while watching it. Only a matter of time before he runs over some poor pedestrian, or kills himself, or causes a pile up. It is awful.

Seriously, if you don't want to spend your life with him you do not need to.

In your shoes I'd give him a chance to get help or I would leave. Get your ducks in a row and decide what you want to do.

There is help out there for people addicted to porn. I expect he will say he is not addicted - but if he cannot drive anywhere without watching it, or look after his son, without watching it, he is addicted. Which is upsetting and very unappealing.

I am so sorry.

Italiangreyhound · 10/09/2024 00:36

*FunWithFlagz *

I am so sorry for your experiences and thank you for sharing, and for being brave to make the break. XXXX