Periods in relationships

[Pinkandpurplehairedlady]

I’ve been seeing someone for about 6 months but due to circumstances beyond my control I haven’t been able to see them for 3 weeks. They are supposed to come over tonight for dinner and to stay over. My period arrived two weeks early this morning (thanks peri menopause!) so I texted to say that I was looking forward to seeing him but knickers would need to stay on tonight but I’d still give him a blow job.

He’s just replied that he’s been waiting ages to see me and hasn’t replied to me message that I can’t help my period arriving (he’s read it).

Am I right to be annoyed? I can’t control my bodily functions and it’s made me feel that he’s only interested in sex rather than wanting to spend time with me.

Yeah. Cringe at this. Aren't you enough?

He's probably got hands.

I wouldn't have ever said anything. Do you feel you have to have sex every time you see him. You don't owe him sex or sexual favour. TBF only you are talking about sex but I just wonder why? Are your communications sexual?

Why message in the first place?

you might as well have said “I know you’re only coming round for sex but will a blow job do?”

doesn’t he come round to see you?

back in the dark ages I wouldn’t have dreamed of mentioning beforehand. He comes round, we have a good time- if things move on I tell him then. If he doesn’t accept it or is pissed off he’s out the door for good.

what were you expecting? What would you have done if he’d said no I won’t bother then?

Oh well. He'll survive.

Unless this is FWB why would you even mention being on your period? If you’re seeing each other, surely sex shouldn’t be expected and shouldn’t be a deal breaker whether you’re seeing each other or not? I wouldn’t have mentioned it over text

I can’t control my bodily functions and it’s made me feel that he’s only interested in sex rather than wanting to spend time with me.

It seems to me that YOU think he's only interested in sex because you tried to placate him with the BJ comment

That may well have beeen TMI for him, I am presuming you are both mature adults over a certain age, surely a man that age isn’t presuming sex or intimate contact is his given right any and every time you see each other? He’s not a teenager!

Tbf, it’s not a teenagers given right either.

age is not a factor. No man of any age should be presuming sex or intimate contact is a right any and every time they see each other.

texts like the o/p sent make it sound like it is though. The correct reply, and the only reply that wouldn’t get him dumped is so? See you at 7 as planned. With no expectation of the bj either.

however old he is.

We need more detail. He might be happy to have sex with your period but either way, it’s up to you if you want to have sex. If you don’t feel like sex that’s also ok.

Also this. If you’re longterm surely you can just not have sex? Does bj need to be planned?

@Allthegoodnamesaretaken92 no i totally agree it's wrong at any age - i have a vivid memory of a crap BF trying to pressure me into sex when i was 19 as i don't like having sex on my period and i mistakenly thought there was much more to our relationship then sex! - but it was more the fact that i was sad the op is worried about dealing with a mans sexual expectations when she is dating as a mature woman.

So? They’re not 19 year olds

And they say romance is dead 🥲

That’s awful. I agree with everyone that text is so grim. Please find a bit of self-respect.

I went on a trip with my then boyfriend of 2 months and I’d miscalculated my period or it was early. Either way it started the night we arrived in the hotel. He was perfectly respectful and we just kissed and kept it above the waist. I didn’t need to explain anything to him other than not to take it personally if I’m a bit grumpy or tired for the next few days as the pain is excruciating and he had to take me to the nearest shop the next day so I could get sanitary towels and painkillers.

We both had a brilliant time, sightseeing, eating out, talking politics and laughing at each others terrible jokes.

I proper belly laughed reading this 😂😂

😂😂😂

It’s not super clear in the OP, but I think a lot of posters are misunderstanding the text sequence (either that or I am!)

Op said : My period arrived two weeks early this morning (thanks peri menopause!) so I texted to say that I was looking forward to seeing him but knickers would need to stay on tonight but I’d still give him a blow job.

He’s just replied that he’s been waiting ages to see me and hasn’t replied to me message that I can’t help my period arriving (he’s read it

So basically she texted to say knickers would stay on but she’s happy to give him a blow job

Then he’s replied saying he’s been waiting ages to see her (which sounds like he’s saying he’s disappointed as he’s been waiting for sex basically)

Then OP has sent a second text saying “ I can’t help my period” and it’s that text that was met with silence. Not the initial text about knickers and BJs 😬

Am I right to be annoyed? I can’t control my bodily functions and it’s made me feel that he’s only interested in sex rather than wanting to spend time with me.

OP, you’re right on both accounts. Get rid of this guy and please raise your bar and standards next time. The fact you even felt you had to send that initial text placating him is sad.

Your message would put me right off op.
Not everyone is looking for sex.
You made your self look silly.

Hopefully he turned up and they had a lovely evening together.

I’m not sure what the problem is? Unless there’s a back story it’s a bit odd to warn a new partner about your period in advance, and even stranger to immediately promise a blow job instead to make up for it.