Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How do you move on from this...

56 replies

Wakeupthedawnandaskherwhy · 31/08/2024 23:02

I have a crush on someone I can't be with. It's becoming difficult for me.

I'm sure he likes me back, which makes things harder.

Keeps looking at me staring almost as though he can't take his eyes off me.

It makes my heart skip a beat. Neither of us have declared how we feel. We work together and are both married so it can't happen but doesn't make it any less difficult.

When we lock eyes I just know there is something there.

How do I get over this?

I have tried to avoid going into the office for the last 3 months as much as I can but now my boss had noticed and is on my case about being in the office more so I can't avoid him that way anymore.

I need advice. No judgement please.

OP posts:
Geesgirl · 29/07/2025 00:10

Come on op, give yourself a slap. You're going gaga over someone else's husband.

How shitty is that carry on.

OchreRaven · 29/07/2025 08:19

Zanatdy · 28/07/2025 22:20

He was out of order to do that, and deny all knowledge. Like you say, if he didn’t want anything in wring, he could have said let’s go for a coffee. Sounds like he potentially wanted some fun at work, but soon as he was made redundant, that was the end of it. Selfish, on many accounts.

Really? He’s made it clear he doesn’t want an affair or he would have had one. Why meet up with a woman he knows wants him to have an affair just for her ‘closure’. Why risk his marriage when he clearly doesn’t want to meet her?! So strange people think she deserves a meeting because of some intense eye contact across the office and a drunk conversation on a night out. Talk about delusional!

3luckystars · 29/07/2025 08:27

It sounds like a lucky escape.
It would be great if you could focus that love energy on your marriage again now and stay together but if you can’t then break up first before starting anything new. I hope you will be alright x

Anonusername1234 · 29/07/2025 08:30

Zanatdy · 28/07/2025 22:20

He was out of order to do that, and deny all knowledge. Like you say, if he didn’t want anything in wring, he could have said let’s go for a coffee. Sounds like he potentially wanted some fun at work, but soon as he was made redundant, that was the end of it. Selfish, on many accounts.

There’s absolutely no evidence here that he wanted anything. It all seems to have been in OP’s head.

Some long lingering looks could easily be a ‘why on earth is she staring at me?’ moment. The ‘he made a very subtle first move on me at a work drinks event’ is about as nothing as you can get. They were drinking. People are generally more affectionate when they’re drinking TO EVERYONE.

And then she messages him and tries to convince him there was ‘something’ and he cuts her down.

Sorry but I just can’t see any evidence of wanting ‘fun at work’ I can see evidence of OP making stuff much larger than it was and now feeling angry she didn’t get to cheat on her significant other.

3luckystars · 29/07/2025 08:38

I don’t think that. People know when someone fancies them.
I think he was interested in her, while he worked with her, and now has moved on to someone else.
It was a big deal to her because it hasn’t happened before, she is maybe a bit lonely in her marriage and believed him. This is an all round lucky escape from this man in my opinion.

Anonusername1234 · 29/07/2025 08:43

3luckystars · 29/07/2025 08:38

I don’t think that. People know when someone fancies them.
I think he was interested in her, while he worked with her, and now has moved on to someone else.
It was a big deal to her because it hasn’t happened before, she is maybe a bit lonely in her marriage and believed him. This is an all round lucky escape from this man in my opinion.

I’ve had men think I fancied them over the years, seriously quite a few, I was absolutely not interested. One sat me down in a pub to let me down gently… he did not believe it when I said I wasn’t interested told me I was lying to myself.

I don’t agree with your statement at all.

Unless it’s just men who are that ridiculous!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page