New man and his drinking habits

[Sundaycoffee]

I've been seeing a new man for about 5 weeks now, so very early days but have started to notice his drinking habits and wondering if they were something to be concerned about?
He appears to spend a lot of time in the pub. In the last week (since Friday) he has been every single day except Monday. It always either socially (for example Saturday with his Dad and Sunday with me) or for a quick drink after work. Tuesday/Wednesday)
He will only have one or two and it doesn't affect his behaviour in any way. He treats me really well, emotionally available, communicative, (a great cook!) and I am happy, but this is niggling at me a little...
Do I have the right to talk to him about it this early on? Or do I just keep an eye?

@5128gap If you are unsure about someone’s behaviour ,its often helpful to look at your own as a guide .Thats all I meant

I genuinely don't see why in this instance. What does whether the OP eats a Mars bar each night, vapes or bites her nails have to do with whether a guy who spends most nights in the pub may be a problem drinker? Her habits are up to the guy to consider and decide whether they're deal breakers or not. We've been asked for our opinions on his habit.

I find the attitude from some very odd on here. Its seems there a push for the OP to rethink her own position in order to hang on to the relationship, to persuade her that it might be ok. That she mustnt raise it or question it, goodness me no! A man wouldn't want to be asked about his pub going habits, so keep quiet and cross your fingers is not a red flag for problem drinking. So many threads from women whose lives are being ruined by their partners drinking. Yet when one sensibly questions it before getting too involved, there's a raft of reasons why it's probably fine to drink every day and a push to stop her exploring further with him. If more women questioned this stuff there'd be fewer enduring the misery of life with problem drinkers.

I have never volunteered in my life! It just isn't something that interests me. You can be as sanctimonious as you like about it, it makes no difference to me 🤷‍♀️
@Sundaycoffee if you don't like his way of socialising call it off, I wouldn't be happy if someone I had been dating for 5 weeks started trying to change my lifestyle.
Alternatively join him in the pub, you might like it (and that's what I would be doing 🍺).

I'm a bad person because I don't want to work two jobs?! Really? Because I don't want to get bossed about all day then get bossed about in the evening too?

I have taken part in political campaigns, which is a type of volunteering, but after the activity, we often go to the pub for food and or drink so I suppose you wouldn't approve of that.

"I have never volunteered in my life!"

It's a good idea for people who work part time, are unemployed or retired, but it's a bit much to tell full time workers they should also be volunteering.

I think you're confusing going to the pub with problem drinking.

We don't know that he drinks alcohol every day.
We only know that last week, he went to the pub every day except Monday. He may go more often in the summer, like I do. He may not drink alcohol every time he goes.

We have no indication that he gets drunk.

I didn't say he did. Although op said he only has "one or two"... Generally assume she's not talking about him drinking water.

I said i wouldn't be interested in being with someone who goes to the pub that much. So i don't think she's unreasonable to question whether she wants to be with someone who spends that much time around/drinking alcohol.

If he's been to the pub 6 days out of 7, i wouldn't waste my time on him. I wouldn't want to be with someone who drinks every or most days.

So help me and the OP out then. Tell us how it's possible to determine if a man who goes to the pub every night sits there with soft drinks after 'just the one' in order to enjoy the folk singer/dominoes/conversation, from one who goes every night because he is alcohol dependent and/or feels alcohol is essential to enjoy life and/or wastes huge sums of money on it to the detriment of potential future shared goals? Baring in mind the OP has been told not to mention it, so she cant even ask. Please share your wisdom. How do we know the difference between a problem drinker and a man who goes to the pub every night?

I am older probably than most on here and I don't know anyone who volunteers, most people are working and why should they give up even more time to work? There's plenty of pensioners and unemployed to do it.

"How do we know the difference between a problem drinker and a man who goes to the pub every night?"

I'm not sure how you know anyone is a problem drinker except by watching them. Real alcoholics hide their tracks of course and will drink anywhere, so going to the pub is neither here nor there.
If I suspected someone was an alcoholic I suppose I'd see if they were often drunk and do they have loads of empties in their bin, knowing they would probably hide this. They also probably wouldn't just come out and say it so I'm not sure where asking would get you anyway.

@Frith2013
Goodness, you can definitely judge a woman by the quality of the company she keeps.

I don't know anyone who doesn't volunteer at least occasionally.

Maybe it's different for those in urban areas

I don't know anyone who does volunteer work ever. And most of my friends are retired! Why would that be different for people in urban areas?

Sounds fine to me.
If he become a babbling drunk then no.
He treats you right and seems ok so far .
Everyone needs some social interactions and if he is no abusing the drink why not.