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Relationships

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Original poster

He called me selfish!

54 replies

AllAlone36 · 29/08/2024 10:23

Very long story short, we've been together 8 years, married 3 of those.
Husband has kids to his ex we normally have his kids EOW. I don't have any children of my own
Now, we both work full time Monday to Friday and every other Saturday in a very heavy & stressful job so every other weekend for kids has always worked for us. We've also had them a lot during the summer holidays, we went on a weeks holiday.

His ex, as much as I get on with her she is a nice person just recently every weekend asking us to have kids and we always say yes we will do it.
So the one weekend we had to ourselves this month we've got the kids again.
I've been honest with hubby and just said, it'd be nice for us to have 1 weekend to ourselves with how busy we always are. And to that he called me selfish.

Am I being unreasonable wanting that bit of time for us so we can relax and enjoy eachothers company or am I actually being selfish?

OP posts:

ChilledMama85 · 02/09/2024 14:21

Wwyd2025 · 02/09/2024 08:27

He's taking the piss, wants the kids yet doesn't look after them?

I'd be purposefully booking a hotel and going away when he has them next and see how he actually copes or not with them.

100%

TinyFlamingo · 02/09/2024 19:40

He chose to be a part time dad. And now he has a full time mum for the enhanced time((s)) the children are with you.
You deserve time to yourself, time as a couple and the children deserve time to them!

Ihavenonname · 02/09/2024 20:20

Do the weekends have increased because the bio mum has got a boyfriend?

i would say having the kids 3 weekends a month and the mum is 1 weekend is more than fair, it reads like both bio mum & dad are taking the mick tbh

cooking /days out lovely & if u enjoy it then fine, but also it’s not fair for you to do it all it should be 50/50 ish with u and dad there more to dad but I do t think it’s unreasonable for u to cook if your going to anyway type thing, bathing etc should be dad /or if you dad should be downstairs cleaning up from the day!

stop using your a/l for extras that’s a him& bio mum issue, on your normal weekends do the family thing on the extras go off solo!

Catoo · 02/09/2024 20:30

honeylulu · 02/09/2024 07:46

When the kids are with us, I do the cooking for everyone I do the looking after, hubby only gets involved if kids don't listen to me. I do bedtimes, playtimes, planning days out.

Why oh why oh why are you doing all this??? No wonder he's happy with the status quo if you're doing all the grunt work and he just gets to play smug bountiful father.

Just stop. He can have the kids over as much as he likes but looking after and entertaining them is his job. If he doesn't want to put the graft in, tell him he's selfish. See how he likes them apples.

This indeed! How did you let this happen that you are doing all the work OP?

Next time they are coming over, go away overnight on Friday or Saturday. Book yourself into a spa or something. Tell him an hour before you swan off!

Do this a lot until he apologises for calling you selfish for looking after him and his DC.

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