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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel disrespected by my ex

52 replies

Prettygirlmia · 29/08/2024 00:55

So I can admit that I have been playing a little tit for tat with my ex. We broke up 6 months ago but have been in off and on contact since then, and hooked up some months ago. Anyways about a month and half ago he confess that he still liked me and wanted to take me out for food. So I agree he ends up basically ghosting me after I said I agreed. So I decided to block him on all platforms.

He plays the tit for tat game and decided to do the same. He ends up unblocking me a month later and starts viewing my social media posts. He then sends me a text asking me “why did you block me weirdo”? I told him why. He then proceeded to send a long paragraph explaining how he had to work and he was going out of town etc, then he apologized for the communication.

He then tells me that he was going to apologize but when he tried, he found out he was blocked so he decided to block me back because he said “I had him f*** up”.

I then proceeded to tell him I’ve moved on and have healed from the situation and us in general. I did kinda let him have it basically explaining to him how I felt like he was and has been playing with my feelings etc. he starts sending me paragraphs asking me why I felt like that, especially since he confessed that he still had feelings for me as well. He then said “I always still had feelings for you but didn’t think we needed to be in a relationship again, and I’ve told you that”. Which by the way he never said that to me.

I finally say “so what I’m getting from you is you wanted to be sexual with me, sometimes hangout but not commit to me again”?

He replied saying “yup that’s what you’re getting from me, at most I only wanted to be friends, and I’ve been told you that”.

I was in shock it was kinda a heartless statement. Not only shocked but confused cause why are you even texting me asking me why I blocked you and having a full on conversation with paragraphs with someone who you don’t care about like that anymore?

I’m 23 this too shall pass but it kinda pushed me back a notch in my healing process. It was my fault for even giving him the time or day and even responding to him.
Any advice ?

OP posts:
Catoo · 29/08/2024 17:21

Prettygirlmia · 29/08/2024 02:06

Do you guys think he might regret it ?

Only if he thinks it’s spoiled his chances of having a shag.

Likely he thought it made him sound like a sexy bad boy.

Leave him on block. His next attempt would be ‘saw this and thought of you’ with a picture of your favourite something or other. Or a link to your favourite song. These are breadcrumb texts.

If he is the one for you OP, you’ll know about it. Men who want to be with you, don’t risk you being single long enough to meet someone else.

Onwards 💐

sirthisisawendys · 29/08/2024 17:24

Play stupid games...

Prettygirlmia · 29/08/2024 17:29

sirthisisawendys · 29/08/2024 17:24

Play stupid games...

This wasn’t the case here

OP posts:
Prettygirlmia · 29/08/2024 18:13

Mmhmmn · 29/08/2024 00:58

Either re-block him and move on or just don’t ever message him back and move on. This is just one you need to ignore and out grow.

He’s blocked on every platform that there possibly is

OP posts:
Mmhmmn · 29/08/2024 18:32

Prettygirlmia · 29/08/2024 18:13

He’s blocked on every platform that there possibly is

Good work. 👌🏼

Mmhmmn · 29/08/2024 18:33

Men who want to be with you, don’t risk you being single long enough to meet someone else.

Totally. It shouldn’t be confusing.

northernlight20 · 29/08/2024 18:42

This reads like a teen soap opera. Time for the pair of u to grow up and move on

Prettygirlmia · 29/08/2024 18:51

northernlight20 · 29/08/2024 18:42

This reads like a teen soap opera. Time for the pair of u to grow up and move on

Not on my part

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 29/08/2024 18:55

Keep him blocked, it's clear he only sniffs around you when he finds himself single and at a loose end, because you give him the time of day. When he gets busy, or is seeing someone, will be when he doesn't respond. Don't stand for being anyone's backup plan.

Oldfatandfrumpy · 29/08/2024 19:21

Oh good grief, so much drama and game playing for what sounds like little more than a hookup (certainly for the last 6 months)

Just block him on everything, delete his details and move on. Nothing good is going to come from second guessing whether he regrets anything or pining for him.

Prettygirlmia · 01/09/2024 05:35

These are the paragraphs he sent me word for word.

1- Don’t act like you didn’t want to.. and wym feeling myself? You buggin lol that was close to the time when I was going out of town and they scheduled me 6 days and I ended up working 7 in a row that Thursday happened to be my 7th day they asked can I come in I was pissed af I wasn’t on my phone the entire day. I went to text you I believe Saturday to apologize and explain the situation but you had blocked me so chill.

2- I’m not on no high horse I’m just saying. That’s what YOU think I’m thinking but it’s not the case lol but it wasn’t on purpose or anything I just had a long week that week and I could’ve reached out sooner thats on me but when I did go to reach out I was blocked

3-Cause you had me fu**d up so I blocked back. And as far as stalking your page is wild I viewed a single story nor am I playing little games but you got it I was just curious to why you blocked me I won’t bother you anymore

4-How did I play with your feelings? And how did I get an ego boost when I said I still had feelings for you at the time? Don’t make sense to me

5-An ego boost to what exactly!? I didn’t have an ego from none of that to begin with idk but I’m sorry if you felt I played with your feelings wasn’t my intentions and once again I won’t bother you anymore. Take care Taylor.

6-You talkin bout the first time we hung out after all that or the very last time we did? Bc when we went to lunch did I not say I still had feelings for you but don’t think it’s a good idea to be together? I’m confused

it doesn’t matter but these were all his paragraphs that he sent me when we were having this conversation.

OP posts:
GalacticalFarce · 01/09/2024 05:50

He's just rambling on.
My advice is always to look at what people do and how they treat you, not at what they say.
It's easy to talk and people talk all sorts of nonsense. They'll blame their poor behaviour on something, make out that things are your fault or the stress from work.
But ignore it. it's what they do that matters.

Find a guy that doesn't play stupid games and treats you well.

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 01/09/2024 05:51

You are in your 20s - why are you even giving time to this individual? Find somebody who loves you and wants to make you happy. 🌸

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 01/09/2024 07:54

What are you hoping to achieve posting those texts? You've been given the advice repeatedly to delete, block and stop giving him heads pace.

For your sake I hope he has blocked you so you can't contact him. The relationship is over. He doesn't want to be with you. You're complaining he disrespected you so stop letting yourself be disrespected.

Your behaviour isn't much better playing games either, those replies indicate you have sent him text to provoke the response you want so you can feel disrespected again. Stop contacting him. Focus on moving forward and stop going back over texts. Delete them.

Catoo · 01/09/2024 11:55

Sounds like he’s a bit fed up of you dissecting his words and intentions and trying to get him back into a relationship when he has been clear that he likes you (enough for FWB) but doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore.

So you either accept his T&Cs or you move on.

My opinion is you should move on. Wasting time with this man means you don’t get to meet someone who will want to be in a relationship with you. This one clearly doesn’t for now.

Get on with your life. Have fun with friends. Travel. New skills. New hobbies. New experiences and make new friends.

He may change his mind one day. But if you keep texting him and seeing him he will never know what it’s like to really miss you.

DottyLottieLou · 03/09/2024 07:53

Have no more to do with him at all or you'll never move on.

Swiftie1878 · 03/09/2024 08:15

I don’t understand what you’re not understanding?
You’ve both been playing tit for tat, but ultimately he wants to keep you on-side because although he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, he still wants to have occasional sex with you.
If you’re not happy with that, just block and move on.

Prettygirlmia · 04/09/2024 02:25

Swiftie1878 · 03/09/2024 08:15

I don’t understand what you’re not understanding?
You’ve both been playing tit for tat, but ultimately he wants to keep you on-side because although he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, he still wants to have occasional sex with you.
If you’re not happy with that, just block and move on.

Why ? When he can just find someone he wants both with… makes no sense

OP posts:
Edingril · 04/09/2024 02:28

You sound as childish as each other, why play games?

Josette77 · 04/09/2024 02:34

He has told you he's not interested in a relationship.

It sounds like you want to prove he is.

He is just interested in sex and you aren't, so no need to stay in each other's lives.

Prettygirlmia · 04/09/2024 03:04

Josette77 · 04/09/2024 02:34

He has told you he's not interested in a relationship.

It sounds like you want to prove he is.

He is just interested in sex and you aren't, so no need to stay in each other's lives.

That’s perfectly fine I got that already. He’s already blocked

OP posts:
Prettygirlmia · 04/09/2024 03:05

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 01/09/2024 07:54

What are you hoping to achieve posting those texts? You've been given the advice repeatedly to delete, block and stop giving him heads pace.

For your sake I hope he has blocked you so you can't contact him. The relationship is over. He doesn't want to be with you. You're complaining he disrespected you so stop letting yourself be disrespected.

Your behaviour isn't much better playing games either, those replies indicate you have sent him text to provoke the response you want so you can feel disrespected again. Stop contacting him. Focus on moving forward and stop going back over texts. Delete them.

I never contacted him he’s the one that was contacting me.

OP posts:
BlueberryClouds · 04/09/2024 06:24

Look how many times he uses the words "I" and "me" in those paragraphs. He's just talking about himself and justifying his actions. It's so hard to let someone go so I understand why you would hope his intentions were ultimately good towards you but space and new people will help.

Prettygirlmia · 04/09/2024 06:34

BlueberryClouds · 04/09/2024 06:24

Look how many times he uses the words "I" and "me" in those paragraphs. He's just talking about himself and justifying his actions. It's so hard to let someone go so I understand why you would hope his intentions were ultimately good towards you but space and new people will help.

I know his word isn’t bond. He only cares about himself . He typed all those paragraphs to say nothing at all

OP posts:
cockadoodledandy · 04/09/2024 22:34

He keeps messaging you because you keep responding. Ignore him and he’ll go away.

Youre still really young and (both) need to grow up a bit. You want attention, he wants to get laid.

Leave him alone, stop interacting and he’ll stop messaging you.

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