How old is too old ? Dating older men

[Pinkflowersxo]

Im looking for some words of wisdom🤣

I am 28 newly single (last time I was single I was 19). Im just wondering what an appropriate age gap is ? My friend has said I should go for older men as they are more mature than the men my age. They are more accomplished and more responsible. Is there a rule for how much older someone should be than you as a woman ?

However , I don't want to be judgemental but I worry if men are single again at this age would they most likely be more likely to cheat and be a dog because they may have been married for years previously. I don't know . I was in a DV relationship for 9 years that took a lot of counselling and healing to get over. I don't want to make the wrong choices in men.

I don't want to close myself to a potential good relationship based on age but I don't know what men at this age are like, I know every man is different but if any women have any experience or lessons that I can learn from I would be grateful for the input. Xx

how about you just get out there and see who you click with

and none of this silliness from your friends about what you should or shouldn’t go for

a nice kind man would be a good start

op you have very young children and just out of an abusive relationship

hunker down and focus on them and you

not dating

I am focused on my children they are my life. However I am allowed to date at the same time that does not take away how I raise my chikdren and I am not "focused" on dating it's just something I am potentially exploring

you started a thread a couple of weeks ago saying you were in therapy and absolutely not ready to date 🤷

and what happened to the thread from… last week about the friend that developed in to something more that you started a thread about right time to introduce to your children?!

Agree with PP, see who you are attracted to/ click with.

I’d say keep it below 40 though perhaps? It depends on what you’re after but if you’re looking at urban/ professional, around 35 is when many that I know are looking to settle down properly, so that may be a good age range.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing if their first proper LTR/ marriage didn’t work out. People in their 20s often that just settle down with the first person they establish a proper relationship with and incompatibilities raise their head later. Obviously your situation sounds a bit different and more serious, but you didn’t spot your ex’s faults from a mile away when younger, so similar can happen to men.

I don’t know many people whose first partnership made it, but most men I do know really properly fell in love with someone when they were 30+.

Just don’t rush into anything and put your kids first, it takes a while to actually settle into your new lifestyle

i’ll leave you to it OP

Honestly, if you are newly single with children just don't for a little while. It's so easy to fall back into patterns if you start dating again too quickly. Have you done the freedom programme?

If you are newly single, just out of a DV relationship which has needed lots of theraphy and counselling? the maths don't add up? was the DV relationship the one at 19 or this one?

why oh why are you looking at dating again so soon? what about your children? they don't need to see a string of men being paraded past them.

take some time to find yourself.

Just because I am asking theoretically about certain things about dating it does not mean I am doing this right now. I am thinking about the potential of the future and certain choices I might make and just getting opinions. As for my friend, he is my friend however some red flags have come up which is why I have made it clear nothing will be happening as in a relationship 🙂 I am aware of those red flags which is why I did not let it progress any further.

You can think about dating and what choices you might make in the future without wanting to do it right now !

I think the fact you’re giving dating and relationships such a huge amount of headspace really isn’t a sign you’re in a good place to be dating at all.

The relationship lasted for almost 10 years so unsure how that does not add up. Secondly who said that I would be introducing anyone to my children ? Chatting and dating does NOT mean you bring strangers around your children. What a thing to suggest

not really.. if you are asking about dating, then you are thinking about it and considering it!

as i said.. give yourself some time to think about something else

if you are 28... and the relationship lasted 10 years, that means you were 18 when you entered into it, and not the 19 as stated in your OP. if you are newly single, when did you have the counselling?

Are you for real right ? I was in fact 18 turning 19 if we are to talk above specifics 😂 honestly

Not one single man would be around my child if I DID choose to date. I don't know what my personal history in my DV relationship has to do with the question starting this thread. I was asking for opinions based on what my friend said this does NOT mean I am doing it now. You can think about your options for the future there's nothing wrong with that I am still young!

🤣🤣

according to another thread… the counselling was still going on a fortnight ago and the op wasn’t ready to date

forget about age op

your previous partner (possibly your only ever partner) tried to kill you

just focus on your DC and yourself

and then go in to dating with no agenda. Just one thought… someone nice kind and trustworthy

I really hope the ignorant people on this thread doesn't put off somebody from thinking about getting advice on DV on mums net. Unbelievable how some of you have gone through my threads and decided to tell me I am not allowed to date. The fact is I am not dating I am not ready right now but would be open to this and have been wanting opinions on certain things regarding dating as it's been 10 years for me ! Absolutely shocking

Absolutely shocking

Indeed OP, indeed

This made me laugh out loud!
So true @ShuviToopya . So true and then let’s not forget the ED!

well, you are the one who mentioned the DV relationship.... so you brought it up? so i assumed it was relevant?

I wish you well on your dating apps... in answer to your question, what does your future look like? are you wanting more children? if so, you might find significantly older mates don't want to have a baby spoiling their life. Most single men at say 35 will normally already have children, so you are looking at a blended family at best.. at 35 if they are single with no children, then there's probably a really good reason for that!

no one has said you are not allowed to date... perhaps those trying to give you advice might just have been through what you have been through and might just have some good advice for you.