D all men become grumpy and unbearable at 55?

[Georgeismydog]

To those of you that are married to a grumpy husband aka Victor Meldrew, help. It is really seriously grinding me down

Yesterday evening he indulged in his new favourite past time, reading planning applications and then constantly moaning about them. All evening he was spouting off about one. He literally did not draw a breath. I'm not even sure he noticed I was in the room.

He is 55 in a few days time and he moans, snores and dozes on repeat.

Is my life ahead?

What tablets?

No idea. He's got a cupboard full. I think some are blood pressure, some might be anti depressants.

I’m 33, I was dating a guy who was 55 on and off for a year and a half. He wasn’t like this but we were also fairly casual and due to schedules didn’t see each other that often. So maybe he could just hide it 🤷‍♀️🤣

My husband uses the quote for happiness - something to do, someone to love and something to hope for.
Could all the 'grumpy old men' be asked to ponder upon their answers/solutions? X

My late 50s DH started being crabby as soon as our children were born, around 20 years ago.
He's an attractive man, but I find it a real turn-off and it naturally affects our sex life. Why would anyone want to have sex with someone who is grumpy?
I've fantasised about leaving him many times and I think when our children are settled, I probably will.

DH is 60 and absolutely not like this at all. But he knows he’d be under the patio by now if he was.

No they’re not all like that. DP is 61 and just As active, up for doing new stuff and as Fun as ever.

We had to get some work done on the roof fairly recently and DH is now completely obsessed with the roof and what might go wrong with it. He never shuts up about it. I'm getting to the point where if I hear one more word about the roof I may spontaneously combust.

To be fair to him, he suffers from anxiety and (proper, diagnosed) OCD. He gets fixated on worrying about things and currently it's the bloody roof. I understand, but it doesn't make it any easier to bear!

My husband is far more mellowed and easier at 75 than at 55, but we are human beings.
When we truly open our eyes to the world and even the closest people at around 45 yo or slightly sooner, it's not a fairytale sight.
I love my husband so I take his grumpy moments with humour, since he has many redeeming points.
There is a three decade age gap between us, too,
married for 20 years.
Worse things around than Victor Meldrew.

My ex is 36 and like this. He's a really good person but gets so wound up about the state of the world / work etc that whenever I see him (two small kids together) I have to tick off a mental bingo card as he tells me how the world and the UK is going to shit.

Some women are the same.

And the actor, Richard Wilson, was only 54 when the series began ...

We must be married to twins, mine is exactly the same. easy going with great humour, and I love him for it, among other things! 😍

@UnemployedNotRetired ah I feel old now! I thought watching it that his wife was probably similar age to me, but people dressed much older then. My mum is 80 but dresses more fashionably now than she did at 50.

Annette Crosbie

• aged 56 when the series started.

Mind you, one of the Golden Girls was played by a 51 year-old at the start.

My DH is 56 and still like a slightly mischievous but adorable puppy. I have known him since he was 26 though we got together when he was 29. He hasn’t changed at all. Both slowed down a little so when we got for a hike it’s not as many miles but that’s it really.

One male poster suggests it might be hormonal and that makes sense. That and our hormones making us less tolerant. Unfortunately the poster also said NHS not helpful so sounds like it might be hard to treat.

Those of you that say - if they have a fulfilling life they won't moan. That might be true but wouldn't that be true at any age?

For about £150 (may be more now) you could submit a planning application for a small windowless cell to be built at the bottom of your garden for the purpose of husband stowage. See if he spots it...

Nope, DP is still actively involved in his music and the gym, and he likes to give his opinion on current affairs. However, he is an extrovert who often makes bold proclamations. His friends are younger, he thinks most of the men and women in his age range are boring.

Happiness levels on average drop mid 40s, ailing parents, young dependents, realisation that you are unlikely to win a noble prize or be england captain, a lot of financial burden and still looking at 20/25 years of work potentially.

As time progresses after that mortgages get paid off, kids become more independent so you have more time for your interests and partner, retirement seems plausible. That sort of thing.

By 55 you should really have outgrown ranting and being generally moody about things you have no influence or any significant knowledge about. Life experience should teach you this.

I agree if you are generally fulfilled the hard slog periods are dealt with better. And if you disposition is sunnier you do tend to live glass half full

Personally I couldn't live with a ranter, whinger or someone who thought the world revolves around just them. They are tedious, you know the type happy to moan and moan yet do absolutely nothing. What a waste of our small time we have alive.

🤣🤣🤣

@frozendaisy perhaps 55 is the new 40? I do know what you all mean but I wonder if hormones are playing a part. My Dad worked until he dropped (farmer) and I never heard him moan but also never heard him express many opinions. He was simply too busy. He was quite political and would canvas for his party but he rarely talked or ranted about it to his family. He wasn't a sunny individual so not sure why that was. Think he was too focused on work.

No.

My OH is late 50's and as cheerful as ever.
I think retiring helped as I know the long commute and office politics were getting to him so he decided to quit work (we are financially secure) and just enjoy life (we both do).

😂

I think I read about this once, it mentioned the drop in hormones