How do you socialise without alcohol

[collann]

Hi
I've just come out of a relationship with an alcoholic. I've never been a big drinker myself twice a year if that but being with him had totally put me off it.

My friends want me to go out with them on the nights I'm child free which I'd like to do but I'll feel awkward not having an alcoholic drink and will people think I'm boring?

Have any of you guys done/do it?
I'd love to hear how you cope or how you socialise if you're not into alcohol x

I drive and have soft drinks. Now it's become so normal for me to do this it isn't questioned.
I still have a laugh and a good time. And I still dance! Just sober.

I have been t total for nearly 20 years, I go out a lot with my friends, never felt odd being on soft drinks. I usually drive as I live in the sticks and it would be over £60 in a taxi.

I don't need to drink, we dance, we chat, we laugh, we act daft....I don't need the alcohol to do any of that.

I got married last week, I was on iced water all day!

Non alcoholic drinks are really popular now compared to in the past as apparently a lot of younger people don't drink, so most pubs will stock some and they taste good. I do drink sometimes but really can't be arsed with a headache the next day so often go for them instead.

They look like regular drinks so I find that mostly people will forget you're on them, esp once they're tipsy! Non alcoholic Guinness is really nice btw.

Obviously we don’t know your friends, but nowadays, I think it’s more socially acceptable to gavdd Ed a soft drink, rather than alcohol. Theres lots more interesting drinks available, rather than coke, lemonade, or orange/ lemonade what was available in the past. Just order your drink confidently, and no one will think anything of it.

I usually have alcohol free beers or cider and have the same fun I would do if I was drinking alcohol but without the side effects.

I never drink to the point of being drunk anyway, but I find even 2 glasses of wine gives me a disturbed nights sleep and just that groggy feeling the next day.

Honestly, op, why would you care what other people think about what you are drinking? That's just bonkers. Go out and have fun.

I don't usually drink when I'm out, I do join in and have non alcohol beer/ cider or mock tails

My friends never say anything and I still have a brillant time

As @Begsthequestion mentioned, a lot of younger people don't drink, or don't drink that much, so its much easier to go out and find something decent that's alcohol free to drink. A lot of pubs and bars will have either an alcohol free beer or gin- I find it easier when I've got something that looks like an alcoholic drink in my hand for some reason! I've started being completely alcohol free on a night out much more these days, I was drinking too much and I can't take the hangovers now like I used to. Touch wood, so far it's never been a problem. The first time I went out and didn't drink I did feel a little bit self conscious, but really, most people don't bat an eyelid. I think people are much more accepting these days that some people either don't drink, or don't drink that much.

Depends on your friends really. Mine have never been bothered about me not drinking.
If you do feel awkward you can always volunteer to drive people home, then they’re even less likely to care that you’re not drinking!
But like others have said, there are lots of nice alcohol free drinks, or even Mocktails (though you are basically paying alcohol prices for just juice, it’s nice to feel like you’re joining in the drinks).
You can have an equally good time without alcohol. I think I usually have a better time than people who get very drunk as I at least don’t do anything stupid, remember the night, don’t feel sick and don’t have a hangover. Win!
Just be honest with your friends of the reasons why don’t want to drink and I’m sure they’ll support you and help you have a great night.

I very rarely drink alcohol. The only difference will be the type of liquid in your glass OP.

If you think of it like that, it’s such a tiny aspect of your personality. I am sure you will have a great time without alcohol. I know I do.

I do drink - but I often don’t - unless everyone else is getting shitfaced (in which case you’ll find them boring) it’s totally fine

Drive. Order tomato juice or J20 or coke or lime and soda.

But I do hate the fact that socialising revolves around drinking. I'd way rather do something that sit around with people getting drunk. Try suggesting a movie or a comedy night or an evening cycle ride - way more fun.

If I go out and don’t drink I just don’t make a big thing of it, I just get my own drink and get on with my night, people rarely even take notice of whether I’m drinking or not.

If anyone asks I just say I’m not drinking tonight, no biggie.

It never even occurs to me to think about anyone’s opinion of me not drinking.
I am frequently asked though which I find odd because they don’t ask me why I don’t smoke or do heroin.

I don’t actually give a fiddlers fart about their opinion, I’m not going to start drinking so people don’t think I’m boring, absolutely not.

I don’t enjoy being around drunk people, I tend to excuse myself fairly early on, turn down piss ups and choose carefully where, when and who I go out with.

Alcoholism is a horrific way to die, once witnessed, it puts you off for ever.

If someone takes umbrage at that it's their problem, not yours!

I can be a right guzzler at times but if I'm going out with a friend who doesn't drink I limit it to two max so as not to yap too much nonsense. It's very noticeable when someone has had a drink and I meet up with them to chatter and enjoy their company.

I do not drink having watched my brother kill himself with alcohol and drugs. It was anything but pleasant.

There are many options from zero alchohol beers and ales like peroni zero and St Peters, none alcholic wine options, some of the current none alcholic spirit mixers are really good and if you want to be flash check out mock tails. they have all the fun of a flashy drink with none of the day after to look forward to. Real friends will not trick you into drinking or manipulate you into keeping up. Try going with good friends to get a feel of ordering such and gain confidence to do what is right for you.Enjoy.

I don't drink at all these days and have the alcohol free alternatives. It looks and feels like you are participating but you avoid the hangover!

I barely ever drink. Are you worried about people judging you for not drinking? Or are you worried that you won’t be able to make small talk/loosen your tongue a bit without a glass of wine? The first, I wouldn’t worry about at all- lots of people don’t drink and it sounds like you weren’t a heavy drinker before this. With the second, if you are anxious, maybe be the listener in conversations, and ask questions till you feel you can contribute. I often take a little while to settle into social gatherings.

If your friends have a problem with you not drinking, find new friends.

Imagine the ridiculousness of guilting someone about not eating or drinking something. 'Go on, have a brussels sprout! What do you mean, you don't want one? Just one, go ooooonn.... it won't do you any harm, what's wrong with you?!'

They make fools of themselves, and it says nothing of you.

I am always driving if I go out so totally normal for me not to drink.

If your mates are completely about getting hammered everytime, that quickly gets boring as the sober one.

However if it is just a few drinks then it's fine. You just have your drinks, they have theirs, everyone has a lovely evening.

I never drink alcohol now...finally woke up to the idea that it does not do me any favours.

Blacking out, DH sticking his fingers down my throat to open my airways when I'm vomiting when unconscious, all day hangovers....me and booze do not mix.

It's definitely got worse as I'm getting older. I'm 55.

There are some great non-alcoholic drinks out there but also lots that are really high in sugar and make my teeth grate!

I sometimes ask for a lime and soda in a gin glass, makes it feel more special.

One non-alcoholic drink I love is Noughty sparkling wine. It was on offer at Sainsbury's for £7.
Just like Prosecco.

If you have the right company then there is no need to drink. Those who drink are often the boring ones, repeating themselves or just being dull when hungover the next day. If you have good friends then they won’t mind.

Surely these days most friendship groups have some people who don't drink, or drink very lightly? You can get 0 alcohol beer, you can drink eg tonic water without the gin, lime and soda, a cocktail, etc. After all, isn't the main point to spend time with your friends? Chatting if you are having a meal or at a bar or pub, or enjoying the music and dancing if you are at a club?

You are overthinking this.

Arg - mocktail, not cocktail!

If you like the taste, you have alcohol free lager. If you don't, you have soft drinks.

It is possible that you might find your friends aren't quite so much fun to be around when they're drinking and you're sober, but you could easily find that it's fine and nobody really pays that much attention - and you might realise that some of them also have non alcoholic drinks but you hadn't noticed before.

As I've said on a couple of occasions 'I'm more than capable of making a complete idiot of myself without a drink, thanks!'.